[teranga]

I'm wondering if anyone has intentionally had a bio child after adopting? I've heard of people being surprised by getting pregnant, and that would be easy enough to explain to an adopted child, I would think. But has anyone intentionally gotten pregnant? I don't have any fertility issues and am considering having another bio child, but then I worry that our adopted child might wonder why we didn't adopt again rather than have another bio child? I would just love to be pregnant one more time, knowing it's the last time, but not at the expense of our son, who is adopted...would it be at his expense??

Any experience with this as your kids grew?

Teranga
2 bio kids
1 adopted
MAYBE considering a 4th and final child biologically (or then again, maybe through adoption...or perhaps not at all....trying to decide!)

[SherBear2528]

I can't give you a 'down the road' perspective, but we have 3 children that were adopted, and one on the way, biologically. It was all intentional.
We have always told our kids that we want other kids in our family, and we have always said that they may come in different ways, because families are built in different ways all over the place.
So we'll see.

[2manyks]

i have bios and adopted. they dont care how they got here. our next baby is going to be adopted, matched and waiting for birth. i thought my 12 yr old ason would be excited to have a newly adopted sib like him, but he is just excited to have a new sib. its all the same to the kids. get a new sib, mom gives birth to a new sib, they totally dont care.

[adoptafricablog]

I had one more bio child after I started adopting, then was not able to continue, but if I had been able to, I would have! As it turns out, I gave birth to 3, then adopted 3, then gave birth to one, then have adopted 13 more. Go for it!

[AdrianLAnderson]

Originally Posted by teranga

I'm wondering if anyone has intentionally had a bio child after adopting? I've heard of people being surprised by getting pregnant, and that would be easy enough to explain to an adopted child, I would think. But has anyone intentionally gotten pregnant? I don't have any fertility issues and am considering having another bio child, but then I worry that our adopted child might wonder why we didn't adopt again rather than have another bio child? I would just love to be pregnant one more time, knowing it's the last time, but not at the expense of our son, who is adopted...would it be at his expense??

Any experience with this as your kids grew?

Teranga
2 bio kids
1 adopted
MAYBE considering a 4th and final child biologically (or then again, maybe through adoption...or perhaps not at all....trying to decide!)

My Aparents have me(adopted) and then a blood child. He's an awesome brother. And I'm lucky to have a sibling. My Bfamily is my 3 brothers, my sister my father and my two nieces and nephews. I'm lucky to have both and my aparents were trying to have a child of their own. Guess they got their wish!

[mom2GRLC]

We intentionally were trying to concieve (through fertility treatments) as well as fostering and hoping to adopt at the same time. We figured we just wanted a family and how ever God wanted to send them to us we would take them...lol!!!

Well, we had taken a break from the fertility aspect of it for about 2 years now because we were in the middle of all of our adoptions and we weren't ready to move foreward to the next step of the fertility treatments at the time.

But now we should be completing our final adoption next month and we have also begun the fertility treatments again. So we pray we will be able to at least have the experience of conceiving and having one bio-child and maybe more if we feel prompted to do so.

So yes we are choosing to intentionally have bio-children after adoption. I don't feel it has to be one way or the other. Once your all brought to gether as a family....it doesn't really matter how you got their....your just a FAMILY.

Besides I think it is actually better for our family. Our kids have also experienced so much loss as they've become attatched to other foster children and then they would leave. All my kids just love babies and always beg to keep them.

If I finally do have a bio-kid then they can also know right from the start that the baby is their brother or sister and that they won't have to say goodbye to it, they will be with it forever.

[Juliana13]

The issue isn't as much whether they were bio or adopted, but whether you treat them differently. Long before I knew we would be adopting our children, I met a woman with two young children, ages 3yrs and 6 months. She introduced them to everyone as "____, who we adopted, but this is our firstborn son, ___." I cringed. There was definitely a difference for her, and I felt sad for her oldest child (whom she'd had since birth.) --He was three, and was at an age where he could understand the message there. I was dumfounded. I wanted to shake her and say , NO.... THIS is your firstborn. Maybe she was just clumsy at the intro thing, but as time went on, I noticed she treated them very differently.

I think as long as you love your children, and they know it - and they know it doesn't matter to you, then they will feel secure and loved and be fine with it.