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Originally Posted By To Tracy

You indicated that your concerns over bonding with her are affecting your work. Does that mean you work outside of the home? Perhaps you can take some leave, paid or unpaid, and really spend extra time with her. As the mother of biological children as well, I can tell you that when I was working full-time and the children were in daycare and I had to travel for work, etc., I felt disconnected from the children (even after so-called "bonding&quot. Our culture needs to be more supportive of moms (and some dads too) who need to have time with their children. If we don't want to give them our time, why do we give birth or adopt them? Two Cents.

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Originally Posted By well said

More stay at home mom's need support too. Mothering is the best job there is. Please don't waste time...it will be gone before you know it

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., I felt disconnected from the children (even after so-called "bonding&quot.
It is not "so called bonding".It is real.Science has just proven it.Mother and Child has a "bonding" at the time of birth.No one can take that away.

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Originally Posted By Lydia

we adopted our son at 7mo. I stayed home with him and I am so glad that I did. At about 21/2 my husband and I went on a trip without our son. This really opened up all of his anger and he thought we were not coming back. Children are so very fragile and I believe they remember things that happened at birth and before. A very good book is THE PRIMAL WOUND by Nancy Verier(sp?) The good news is that after a few very hard years we seem to be on the right track. We did get a great therapist and we worked very hard. I believe the first part of this site to be very important (there is a lot of grief in all sides of the addoption triangle).I will help my son find his birthmother when the time comes. Once I asked my son if he felt angry that his birthmom couldn't take care of him, he told me that he missed her. There is so much I want to tell his birthmother I wish I could do it without her knowing where we are as she has a bit of criminal history and I would be afraid to let her know. Has anyone had any experience with this? I want her to know how loved he is by me and his dad and the good things we are doing for him.