[Skye Hardwick]

Hello Everyone -

I thought that I would ask these two questions: What are you doing this month to promote adoption awareness? What are you doing this month to celebrate adoption and how it has touched your life?

Thanks!

[Betty Lou]

My name is Valerie and I am a 42 year old adoptee that is searching for my b-mom. I also gave up a child for adoption in 1977. We were reunited this year. She also gave a child up for adoption. I guess you could say I have a little experience with adoption. I have concerns with open adoptions and 18 and 20 years olds who are angry with their b-moms. How ccan I help? Val

[Christine67]

I wish you luck in building a relationship with your daughter and in finding your birthmom. I too agree that open adoptions are not always the right way to go b/c I feel they do not give the adopted family enough reassurance that the child they think they are going to raise is going to stay with them and interfernce from the biological families might not be wanted. There are many reasons why people give up children to adoption and there are many adoptive parents looking for an opportunity to rasie a child and give their love to a child who might not have the same opportunites had they not been given up. I am a 27 year old adoptee who was adopted at birth. I grew up not wanting to look. I was satisfied with being adopted and proud of it. My adopted parents always told me I was adopted. I have an older brother who is also adopted and we had always decided that if it was fate to know our biological family it would happen but we were not going to search b/c they obviously gave us of for one reason or another. Unlike other adoptees I knew at a very early age. I feel that if a person or family adopts a child that child deserves to know b/c if the child finds out later then that is going to be a devistating factor and how can they trust their parents. I too hate to see all the anger in some of the younger generation tring to find answers. No one knows the circumstances that our biological families went thru to make the decision to give up a child. I'm sure sometimes the reasons are selfish but more so I believe the bottom line reasons are for hope for the child being given up. Hope for a better life for the child, hope for the child to grow up understanding that the biological family might not have been able to provide what they wished for the child and giving a child up to give them a better life shows more love and compassion for the child then keeping the child and not being able to provide the necessities for the child. We hear about all the bad stories that is one reason I like these adoption forums b/c it is not always the bad it is also the good stories. I was recently found by my biological family and at first I was very upset about it. Not that I was found, but b/c my adoption was sealed yet I was found without my permission, my information was given to the biological family. I felt very violated. What if I didn't want that contact? The concerns my biological mother had were did I know I was adopted, did I have a good life (more than she could have done), and I think her biggest concern was did I hate her. We had many conversations about these issues and I constantly reinforced in her mind "how could I hate a person who loved me enough to give me to someone else to raise and to give me a chance at a better life.) Hatred was never in my mind. My adopted parents always taught us about adoption and that some people could not have children and some could but could not properly care for their children. I have since become very close to my biological brother. I think that if the situation is handled in a correct manner then it could be a good thing. I am greatly enjoying the time we have had together and we both are learning that even though we were not raised together we have many similarities. My biological family went thru a lot to find me and I believe it was fate that made it happen. Again good luck in finding your birth family and if I can help let me know.

[anita cultice]

i am lighting a candle for my adopted parents and my sisters! i am sending an e-mail to my adopted parents to let them know this is adopted awareness month! thanks, anita cultice

[ralandfamily]

My husband is a minister at a United Methodist Church. I'm making a display in the main entrance of our building. This will include waiting children and lots of information concerning adoption. I'm also preparing a bulleting insert for the last Sunday of November.

Hopefully, this will generate lots of questions.

Amy

[anita cultice]

i was wondering where your church is at? i am very glad to know that i am adopted by a good christian family! i am sitting here right now with three almost four candles burning in remberance of adoption month! i would love to hear from other people who are adopted! from any age group! love to know how they feel about being adopted and if they ever got to meet their real parents or not and how they feel about them! thanks ahaed of time! lol, anita cultice (aka anita cahoon adopted name)!

[khnath]

HI,
We have a beautiful 3 1/2 year old son (whom we adopted as an infant), and are currently in the process of our second adoption. I belong to group called M.O.P.S. (Mothers of Preschoolers), and I'm giving a talk on adoption awareness to our group.

I plan to share a couple of poems, and information on positive adoption language, and talk briefly of our experiences with the adoption process. I have had the unpleasant experience of having to listen to negative comments about adoption and families who have adopted. So, I thought this month would be the perfect time to set things right. These ladies are not saying things to be mean, they just don't know any better.

I should note that I plan to do this in a light and positive way.

[anita cultice]

hey there khathy, how are u? i am doing okay i guess besides having a cold due to the weather we are having here in ohio! where do u live at? i was just wondering! yes alot people say rude things about apodtion! thanks anita!

[ralandfamily]

Anita,

My husband is minister at Mt Comfort United Methodist Church(www.mtcomfort.org) located in Greenfield, Indiana.

I hope the congregation likes the idea of promoting adoption even though there aren't many members that have a connection with adoption. I only know of one family besides our own that have any connection, but there probably more.

God Bless,

AmyL

[khnath]

Hi Again,
My talk went over really well, and I was surprised to find out how many people had an adoption connection. We had several who friends or family who are currently going through the process, or have gone through it. And then there was a woman who told me she had been adopted. Others said that they appreciated the new info.

Amy, I think you will be surprised at how receptive others will be. Even if they don't have a personal connection. Good Luck!

God Bless,
Katrina