[rebeccawolf]

My son was born in January Every year for about a month before and a month after his Birthday, I get all weepy and cranky. Does anyone else experience this phenomena? Is there any "cure"?

[Edited to remove the birthdate of a minor]

[blankenb4]

I think that I just get more pensive and withdrawn. I take the time to reflect and wonder about my birth daughter.

Barbara
ISO bdaughter 6-6-71

[Free_to_be_me]

I used to notice a definate mood change for about a month before her birthday. I have dealt with it by accepting and embracing it. I would set aside the entire day of her birthday for taking care of me. No work, school, appointments, errands, chores...nothing. I would allow myself to be as sad as I needed to be, but if I wasn't sad I would let myself be happy (or whatever) too. It really helped to just allow myself the misery. It is so much easier now. My birthdaughter is 9 1/2 now.

[FauxClaud]

Its called Birthday Blues and I know of no cure.
Birthday #17 just came and went....bit off the heads of those around me and weeped at anything that moved.
I totally agree with Free.....embrace it and accept it, plan for a full wallow
You can't get under it, you can't get around it, you must go through it.
claud

[Juscuz]

You didn't say how old your child is.....but mine will be 24 in January and every year I would go and sit outside, look into the starry night, say a silent prayer to him, sing happy birthday, and write a poem. Sometimes in the beginning I'd cry for the lost, but as days turned into years, it somehow got better, not forgotten, just better.

[strimm66]

yes i also experience this sadness every year around his birthday, and even other holidays. My son just turned 18 yrs old today and has been a very tough day. I also took off work to honor his birthday. There is not a day go by i do not think about him. Today is D day. He 18.

[Catherine1]

Yeh i do my son was 2 begining of feb n i cried b4 the day and after his birthday.

[Catherine1]

My son has just turned 2 its really tough at the moment does it get easier? At the moment it just seams to get harder n harder

[scarlet52698]

Yes, the month before and the month after my bsons birthday are the hardest. I agree with the others, embracing it and doing something nice for myself on that day helps.

This year was his 18th bday so my DH took me out for a special dinner to celebrate. It was exactly what I needed.

[Kitti]

My daughters birthday is an emotional time for me but I try not to get to teary(that has been hard on occasion). I find myself thinking about what milestones may have occured in her life over the past year and I find myself worring about how things are for her and if she is ok, growing up is hard to say the least. I know it may sound strange but said an extra prayer for her safety when she turned 16 and was able to drive.When she turned 18 I found myself thinking how I hope she takes the time to vote. I also thought of things I wished I could tell her and every year since her birth I have written her a birthday letter and now there are 21 of them. One day I hope to be able to give them to her, if she is interested. Until then I will keep writing. My own birthday is 4 days after my daughters and I celebrate for myself and for her each year.
There is not a cure for the hurt that you will feel at times Rebecca, but try to smile and celebrate for your child on his birthday because somewhere he is smiling, let that heal your heart. If you need an extra bit of self therapy, try writing letters for the occasion because it does wonders and may one day be valuable to your son.
Kitti

You cannot close the acorn once the oak begins to grow
And you cannot close your heart to what it fears and needs to know
That the hardest part of love is the letting go-Children of Eden

[Montraviatommyg]

For a few years I used to cry on my bson's birthday, then for a few years I would be moody and withdrawn, then up till last year I would keep myself occupied on his birthday. This year I will be happy as I accidently found him 5 days after his birthday last year.

Montravia

[Tigger27]

Well today (Mar. 14) is my daughter, Allie's bday, she turned 2. I was more moody, pensive, withdrawn and down and emotional today especially. I have been for the past week or two with thinking about and missing her a lot.

So, yes I cry close to my bdaughters bday(s) and no I don't believe that there's any "cure' for it. As it was mentioned above by someone, I think it will get easier to cope with the grief and missing them as time goes by, but I don't think it will ever go away.
Anne

[MyCatharsis]

Today my son turned 19. The tear's began last night, continue right now, and will continue for the next week. I find myself constantly reliving the days we had together, the events that happened so that I will never forget. It has been 19 years today, and I am still an emotional wreck. I make sure to take the day before and of his birthday off work, so I can sit here read and search and cry. It doesn't get easier. Not for me at least.

[apainter]

Every year,...three times a year,....I can never let them go.

[Linnie65]

Thank you all for reminding me why I made contact with my bmom (for those of you who don't know, I stumbeled on this site, on a whim entered my bdate and saw her listing. I never expected to have it come up - heck people search for YEARS right?). Anyway, while I really didn't want to, I made contace. I felt I owed it to her - to help stop her wondering. We met this year a couple of days after my 40th birthday. At times I wish (for my sake) I had not made contact, when I think of the peace of mind I gave her and that now, hopefully, it won't be as "bad" on my birthday, I'm glad I did it.