[FatBirdy]

Mother's day is coming up: May 9th, 2004. Birthmother's Day is May 8th. I am undecided how I feel about the seperate day......but that is secondary - to what should I do for my bmom that weekend?

We don't live in the same city so I would have to send something - and we have been having a really rough time lately in our already rocky reunion. I am having a tough time bringing myself to recognize this day for a woman who has been especially mean to me over the last couple of months. Yet, I don't want to hurt her since she said in the past that she always thought of me on Mother's Day (this is our first Mother's Day).

I am looking for suggestions...from everyone! I would also love to hear about stories from past Mother's Days - and even wishes and dreams.

Thanks!

[l-thompson]

Hi there - I know, it can be a bit tricky at the best of times.

I first made contact with my birthmother last April so Mothers day was just around the corner. Last year I called her ( really hard given the time difference!!) and wished her a very happy Mothers Day. I felt quite comfortable doing that because I wish my girlfriends a happy day too on Mothers Day ( those that are Mothers) Nothing more needs to be said but the kind thought is there. You are simply wishing a Mother a happy day. I will be doing the same again this year.

I know that buying a card is hard as you can never quite find the right one in these circumstances - I tried to find one last year but none of them were right and I tell you, I looked at heaps!!
The only other thing I could suggest is maybe make one yourself for her and that way what you chose to write and express is a true reflection on how you feel.

I didn't even know there was a Birthmothers Day??? Its not something I have heard of here downunder.

[FatBirdy]

Yes, this is a toughie! I will probably just get a card - I'll let you know if I find anything suitable!

As for Birthmother's Day - I just heard of it myself. I understand that it's a recent tradition that some bmom's organized to recognize their unique motherhood. I know many embrace it and others oppose it. I am on the fence. Either way I am positive that my bmom has never heard of Birth Mother's day and I don't have the energy this year to explain to her about this new special day. I would rather it just passed quickly without much fuss.

[FatBirdy]

This holiday is stressing me out. Should I send a card and let the pre-printed words do the talking (which I will likely disagree with given our 'rocky' reunion) - or send a letter explaining my confusion about this holiday - or send flowers with a tiny card that only says 'Happy Mother's Day' from the florist?

Are there any stories out there? I can imagine that Mother's Day is tricky for many in the triad.