[holeinmysoul]

words cannot express the hole that has been left in my soul and heart since the day i had to leave my baby girl at the hospital. my mother unfortunately convinced me this was for the best as the pregnancy was a result of an one-sided encounter. at any rate, i have tried desperately for 19 years to recover from this loss and there is no such thing as recovery, only mere surviving moment by moment. since the birth of my son on 11-11-88, a large part of that hole was filled, but nothing or nobody could ever take the place of my baby girl in my arms. i pray every day for the day that i can hold her in my arms again and tell her how very much i love and have missed her and that we will always be together in heaven. she is a part of me and i am a part of her that no amount of distance, money or people can break the bond between us. i now know how God must feel to have to endure being away from his beloved children for so very long. just as we will all be reunited in Christ Jesus, I also know that my baby daughter, whitney as i named her, will be together again someday. i pray, wait and long for that day. i love you whitney and so does your little brother...