[jkwdbu]

i have a question regarding US adoption. i am interesting in finding out how parents are given referrals for adopting children. as i understand, if you are going to foster to adopt, than the person that conducts the home study selects children (according to what they feel would be a good fit) to place in your home. that scares me. i would like to at least be able to see pictures of the children before welcoming them into my home.
are there other ways to select children for adoption (2-5 years olds, particularly) in the US?

any advice would be appreciated.

[mom2behappy]

waiting childrens photolisting although your not gauranteed the child you inquire about

[tweetybirdus]

Also, just because the SW selects a child that may be the right fit for you doesn't mean you have to accept that placement. You will not be denied another placement for turning down one or more matches. They are looking for the best interest of the child and if you think that you aren't able to give that specific child what he/she needs, then they have to look elsewhere.

Good Luck on your journey.

[jkwdbu]

Originally Posted by tweetybirdus

Also, just because the SW selects a child that may be the right fit for you doesn't mean you have to accept that placement. You will not be denied another placement for turning down one or more matches. They are looking for the best interest of the child and if you think that you aren't able to give that specific child what he/she needs, then they have to look elsewhere.

Good Luck on your journey.

i thought about that, but i think it would be frustrating for both my wife and I as well as the child. the child would feel rejection (something i'm not keen on promoting) if we didnt accept her. and my wife would grow frustrated with the long process.

hoping to avoid that.

[jkwdbu]

Originally Posted by mom2behappy

waiting childrens photolisting although your not gauranteed the child you inquire about

ive seen some photolistings on different websites. i have no idea how current they are or how extensive of representation of the children they are posting.

[mdesi]

Originally Posted by jkwdbu

i thought about that, but i think it would be frustrating for both my wife and I as well as the child. the child would feel rejection (something i'm not keen on promoting) if we didnt accept her. and my wife would grow frustrated with the long process.

hoping to avoid that.

In our state, potential foster to adopt parents tell their SW what situations they are open to. If you are not open to certain situations - disabilities, behavior disroders, ages, genders, races, etc - you are not supposed to be presented those situations. I'm not sure that a photo is going to give you more information than meeting with the child and getting advice on potential matches from your SW would.

How are you planning on avoiding rejection? (Not trying to flame you, just asking for more information.)

[jkwdbu]

Originally Posted by mdesi

In our state, potential foster to adopt parents tell their SW what situations they are open to. If you are not open to certain situations - disabilities, behavior disroders, ages, genders, races, etc - you are not supposed to be presented those situations. I'm not sure that a photo is going to give you more information than meeting with the child and getting advice on potential matches from your SW would.

How are you planning on avoiding rejection? (Not trying to flame you, just asking for more information.)

I live in Texas and I'm pretty sure the same situation applies here.
Well I was hoping for more than just a photo. I would like a background sketch, a personality analysis, and perhaps even a short video of the child. These types of things would help us to be able to participate more actively in the child selection process.
As it is now, foster children face rejection every time they are moved out of a home. Bringing them into our home for a 'trial,' especially when we know nothing about the child ahead of time, seems problematic.

If we could observe the child more discreetly (without actually bringing them into our home) it would help to keep them from potentially experiencing more rejection.

[mdesi]

Again, I can only speak for my state, but my friends who adopted through CPS all met the children prior to bringing them to their homes. They were given details prior to meeting them about their situations. None have ever been given a video - that could be due to protection rights of the child, though. Children can't be filmed w/o legal guardians' permission. The state may be hesitant to do that due to children's privacy rights.

TX's photolistings actually have a lot of information to them when I viewed them. This site has a link to the photolisting, which are likely to out of date, but should give you some insight into the level of information that the state gives out.

[jkwdbu]

Originally Posted by mdesi

Again, I can only speak for my state, but my friends who adopted through CPS all met the children prior to bringing them to their homes. They were given details prior to meeting them about their situations. None have ever been given a video - that could be due to protection rights of the child, though. Children can't be filmed w/o legal guardians' permission. The state may be hesitant to do that due to children's privacy rights.

TX's photolistings actually have a lot of information to them when I viewed them. This site has a link to the photolisting, which are likely to out of date, but should give you some insight into the level of information that the state gives out.

thanks. i was thinking that video could be an issue and i understand that. i didnt know you were able to meet with the child before bringing them into the home. that is helpful.
do you know if CPS allows you to meet several children before bringing one into the home? or are you restricted to one child at a time?

[mdesi]

One of my friends met several children before making a commitment. He met them all in the same day. My other friend went to a meet and greet type of thing, and just knew that her son was supposed to be her's, so she did not meet any others.

[karla-k]

our friends who also live in Texas found their daughter and son on the Texas photolisting site. they are a perfect match for their family

they got the normal CPS info on the kids and spent time with the kids on weekends before the kids actually moved in. they also had to wait 6 monts before finalization to make sure everything was good as far as the fit into their family.

they finalized last September and couldn't be happier. Their kids are 6 & 8 years old now.

[Bunnygirl]

One thing you might try is hosting an orphan from another country for the summer. They're generally older but the idea is that the potential adoptive parents & the potential adoptee see how they get along before an actual adoption is initiated. Right now I only know of programs for Russia & Ethiopia but I'm sure there are others.

[devildogwife]

Originally Posted by Bunnygirl

One thing you might try is hosting an orphan from another country for the summer. They're generally older but the idea is that the potential adoptive parents & the potential adoptee see how they get along before an actual adoption is initiated. Right now I only know of programs for Russia & Ethiopia but I'm sure there are others.

Ukraine does hosting.