[letsgoshopping]

Two weeks ago we unfortunately had a failed adoption, we were heartbroken, but found out in the same week that we were matched again. We are excited about the potential, just far more skeptical now, not as sunshine and roses as it felt the first time to be matched (I really would like to be excited).

Anyway...the issue that we're dealing with now is that this adoption is costing $10000 more than our previous match. There are more living expenses, still no medical expenses (Medicaid), but our major area of contention is with $5000 more in legal fees. We are working with an agency who is very reputable, but right now I can't shake the feeling that we're just not getting the whole story. Is it normal to pay an agency $18500, an attorney in one state $7000 and an attorney in another state $6000...in addition to living expenses, etc...total adoption is nearing $41000? DH and I are at a loss as to what questions to ask because we don't know if this is normal or if we're being charged more than we should. We would probably handle the questioning differently if we weren't dealing with people who are going to make our dream of parenthood come true (don't want to bite the hand that feeds you)....but we don't want to be taken advantage of either.

If anyone has gone through this and has mastered the art of getting answers out of an adoption agency, please let us know. We greatly appreciate it!

[Vanabelle]

As much as you want a baby (and I know what ya are feeling)....I wouldn't go through with this match. Our complete adoption with travel, airfare, attn fees, etc totaled $30,000.

Hoping your baby will be in your arms soon!

[kittys_mama]

You need to becareful. These fees are outrageous. It looks like everyone is piggy backing fees.

You dont need to pay this much for an adoption.

[Cherylmom5]

Adoption is expensive but the most we have ever paid (5 adoptions) is 20,000 with attorney fees, agency fees, travel and homestudy. Good luck with your decision. Hopefully you can find an agency that is more upfront with the fees. PM me if you want to know who we went through. We loved them.

Cheryl

[Linny]

These fees are extremely high. I've heard of folks paying this much, but I surely don't think adoption HAS to be this way.
I'm just going to be blunt in assuming that you're matching with a possible placement that will be a healthy white baby? Even if this is true, it is possible (I've been told by our adoption attorney) to undergo an ethical adoption for MUCH less than that in agency fees. I'm not talking about flying expenses or accomodations while waiting for ICPC; but the fees involved for a homestudy and agency fee.
I've never done an adoption for a CC baby; and never wanted to....but our adoption attorney and I have had discussions over the high cost of adoption fees these days.
Please be careful. IMO, these fees are way out of line.

You asked about --what kind of questions to ask your agency/attorney?

Ask them to give you an itemized list of what the fees are for. And, I'd also be asking the attorney in and out of state the same thing! Someone mentioned they felt the fees were being 'piggy-backed' and I think I'd have to agree. Someone (well, sounds like a LOT of someones) is getting quite a chunk of change for this---and it's coming from your pocket. Don't forget that. Remember that this is your money. Sadly, adoption is a business---and is treated as such by too many people. Remember too, that just because the adoption is costing a lot for you, doesn't guarantee an ethical or 'better' adoption (or treatment, for that matter). I don't mean to sound harsh or judgemental in your choice of agency, etc. If I do, I apologize.

But I would ask again that you be very careful. There are a lot of mean, ugly agencies, attorneys and facilitators out there who have no problem taking advantage of hopeful adoptive parents......

Sincerely,

Linny

[jaenelle]

Sounds too high to me.

[nycfsa]

We only paid $2500 for an out-of-state attorney and less than $6000 for our own attorney (no agency). You should ask what the out-of-state attorney is doing for that price. Ours met with our son's birthmother a couple of times and took her to court for TPR and that's it.

[KingdomWarrior]

My lawyer said his fees would be around $1800 and the HS would be $250 to $500 and then her lawyer would be around the same (if we were in the same state).

And if the mother had Medicaide, I would at max pay half the hospital bill.

That would be around 10 to 15k at max, but more around $5000 altogether (private adoption though).

I have talked to a few agencies and I have heard around 30 to 40 k. To me, that is just a bit too much