[Archive]

Originally Posted By Cindy

My husband is a recovering alcoholic who was sober and attending AA meetings for 12 years. He recently, 4 months ago, had a 1 night relapse and received a DUI. He has since been sober and still attending meetings. I do not drink. My husband made a mistake and I would like to know if this will prohibit us from adopting. We both have great jobs and have a very solid relationship. I can't say that my husband will never have another relapse. The good news is that this is his first in 12 years and he is involved in AA. He and I must live one day at a time. Can someone please let me know if this means we will not be able to adopt.
thanks

[Archive]

Originally Posted By birthmom

I placed my baby boy for adoption, and I would NEVER have considered placing him with ANYONE who had any history of drinking problems, even if they were approved to adopt. Those of us who have grown up around alcoholics know better than to place our babies in families like that. You may not drink, but your husband did and got a DUI recently. That's a sign that he's still having big problems. I hope he gets help and can stay sober. At this point, I don't think you need to be bringing a child into this situation.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By I agree with bmom!!!!

I'm someone who has been matched with a bmom and she wants the best thing for her child..I wouldn't give a baby to a couple who have had any DUI...A child doesn't need to see that at all..

Sorry but you have to even pay the price with one mistake....

Adopitve mom is a few weeks!!!!!!

[jbzway]

I don't mean to preach but your husband still has issues with his drinking. You said he fell off the wagon once and got a DUI, what if the baby was in the car at the time? I would never place a child in a home where drinking was a problem with either parent. I was adopted by an alcoholic parent and it was horrible, I would never do that to a child. I have adopted two children as a single woman and I never touch the stuff. I wouln't want my kids to go through what I did. There are consequences to our actions and sometimes we are unable to forget some of the choices we have made.

[Janeinpain]

F/U to Cindy - and to ignorant people

Cindy - I think you should proceed with your plans for adoption. My sister is a recovering alcoholic and adopted several years ago, and is SUCH a happier person because she is clean and sober.
Some birthmothers think alcoholism is a weakness and it's not it's a physiological disease. Also, when adoptive parents go through their home study to be approved for adoption, they have to get a physical by their doctor. To birthmothers: Do you know the potential parents are asked if they have a history of drug or alcohol abuse?!! Do you know how many are not honest because they so desperately want to adopt and will go to any lengths to do so?

Do you also realize that there are a very, very large number of people who drink heavily or are binge drinkers, all different types that NEED "AA"! Some are "functional alcoholics" and you would never know they where. My sister was one of them.

I'D LIKE TO SAY, THAT WHILE MY SISTER IS WAKING UP ON A SATURDAY MORNING AND UP FEELING GOOD AND ON HER WAY TO THE PARK WITH HER ADOPTED CHILD...OTHER'S THAT YOU MAVE HAVE CHOSEN TO ADOPT ARE SUFFERING FROM A MAJOR HANGOVER!

I suggest that you leave it up to a Social Worker or medical professional to "approve" someone's homestudy to determine if they feel the couple or individual is able to properly care for a child.

Grow up and get educated. You know, if you look up AA on the internet and look at the "12 steps" to recovery, you'd find that anyone could benefit by these steps. You become a more spiritual, grounded, forgiving, compassionate, and humble person just to mention a few.

I think we ALL make mistakes and some of the birthmothers and adoptive people have histories that they would like to erase, I know I do.

I'm just furious at ignorance here. Cindy, please proceed with your process! I commend you for your honesty! This is a trait that so few have.