[Elle83]

Looking for advice from those who have worked with photo listings before. My SW told me the best plan was for me to give her all the details and she would make contact w/ workers - but 2 months into the process, I have asked her about 15 kids in state and 5 out of state and have heard back about only 2 kids (both with extreme behavior issues). She also referred 3 kids that were not photo listed - we submitted out home study for all 3, never heard back on 2 and was interviewed for 1 (the child was placed with a family that racially matches him better).

So the question - the photo listings include contact info for the worker...has anyone had a good experience with calling/emailing the workers directly ... is this a good idea?

Thanks

[ProspectiveSingleMom]

In Wisconsin they have where you can submit a child inquiry form online. I haven't tried it yet since I don't have a completed home study (which is a requirement for submitting an inquiry). Are there any other states/websites that have this feature? I am also interesting in hearing what other peoples experiences have been like with contacting the child's case worker directly via a photolisting.

[Elle83]

I've done that and heard nothing so was actually considering emailing/calling the worker directly.

[buttascotchbaby]

Well, this is something that is on my heart and mind constantly so I may be able to help a little. Since I decided to broaden my possibilities and look into adopting through foster care, in other states I feel like I am the cyber photo list stalker! I have about half a dozen sites that I check several times a day (I'm on a mission!). I have put inquiries in on about 10-12 kiddos. I have made the initial contact myself on every one of them. My licensing worker is not very proactive at all (that is an understatement) and in order for my home study to be released by her I have to jump through a few hoops. I have to send the agency with the kid/s I am interested in two documents; one is a signed (by me) release, asking my LW to release my HS to the agency in question. The second is a letter that I type up with the receiving agency's info on it, requesting my HS. The agency then sends them both to my LW who will then fax my HS back to the requesting agency I have been very fortunate that I have come across a number of very kind and understanding workers in other states who have been happy to go through that.

Things I have learned: it is a verrryyy sloooowww process. One kiddo who is a possibility, I sent my HS to the worker over 2 months ago and they are still looking at HS's!

Most of the workers (actually, most of the people listed as contacts are recruiters not case workers) have been really wonderful and positive. Of course, they do not do the actual choosing or processing, but they do occasionally make recommendations A sibling set I am VERY interested in listed that the worker only wanted 2 parent families. The recruiter knew a little about me through email conversations and said "get your HS to me and we'll submit it anyway, it can't hurt". I did and today I heard that the situations the CW were considering have fallen through and they asked for more HS's and for recommendations from the recruiter who tossed a few names out there and one of them was mine!

The negatives: Many kids listed online are no longer available Some agencies/states, etc., will leave the kiddos pictures up until finalization! So, my first question when I send in an inquiry is: "Is this child/ren still available?" and the second is: "Are you considering families out of state?", because I have run into workers who say "Well, legally we have to be open to anyone but really we want to place in our home state".

I would say to definitely contact the worker (or contact person) yourself first. I have found out information, from talking to the worker, that was not online that made me immediately decide that this was not a match for me and to not have my HS sent. It saved the hassle of having to involve my LW and waste everyone's time.

I have sent inquiries in on 3 kids/sibling groups in the last week and not heard back from any of them, not even an acknowledgement that they received my inquiry! That is not an uncommon occurrence.

I know that since I am looking for basically under 5 (anywhere from 1-3 kids) it is much tougher. One little girl who I was REALLY interested in was under a year old and the worker told me that they had received over 100 home studies! So, that is something to keep in mind too: the age and other circumstances of the kiddo you are interested in. If you are really interested you can then control the contact: email, call, send the inquiry in through the website, whatever. There are a lot of people out there and it can really help to be very assertive and proactive. Your worker has other cases, families, etc., and will never be as proactive as you would be for yourself, KWIM?

I hope that something from my experiences can be of some help Good luck to everyone!

[joskids]

although the photolistings are not always current, I still stand by doing your own legwork. If your worker isn't proactived then you need to be. If your homestudy is complete, call yourself. If the worker really cares about placing a child, they'll tell you as much as they can share at that point. I've had some that were wonderful about sharing non-confidential information. Ask about how many placements the child has been in, as that is important. Ask about sib relationships, ask how the child is currently doing in their foster placement. Keep calling workers and get to know them. That's how we got one of our daughters. I'd called about an older child who was eventually placed with the foster mother permanently. But that worker remembered two years later that we were an interracial couple and were looking for same for a 2 year old biracial girl and we were placed with her eventually. And good luck with your search. It's a frustrating ride but such a worthwhile destination!

Josie

[alidaw4]

[quote=buttascotchbaby]
Things I have learned: it is a verrryyy sloooowww process. One kiddo who is a possibility, I sent my HS to the worker over 2 months ago and they are still looking at HS's!



THANK YOU for sharing this with me! That was the most informative post I have seen on the subject so far!
Alida <-- who also patrols the heart galleries all over the us! :-) Heart Gallery of America Inc.

[dawnmei]

I recently adopted my daughter who I first saw on a photolisting almost 2 years ago. And that was after a year of searching and waiting. I too had a SW that I didn't feel was the most proactive, and often made contact without her. For some reason, after 6 months, she gave me a copy of my homestudy that I was able to pass on to other workers. I don't know if that was a "magical" time frame or what, but I felt much more in control then. I always let her know, through email, who I'd given the info to.

I remember checking the sites daily and waiting for updates. Good luck on your journey!

[Kids4Me]

I'm in Florida and there are photo listings and web site in the state. We're waiting on our home study so we are not able at this time to request any information on any of the children we see.

The lady who does the adoption home studies in our area told me that basically we would not be assigned a social worker. She said that when we see a child/sibling group we are interested in then we would contact that child/sibling group's caseworker directly. Our HS would then be sent to that person to see if we would be a potential match.

I met someone who adopted through the state a few years ago, and they said they did have their own social worker, in fact they had three for various reasons, until they finally got matched with their two boys.

It seems some things have changed since then. I'll admit to being a bit confused about how the process is supposed to work here. I did decide, even before talking with our adoption home study person, that I would probably call the agency about the child/children directly and cut out some of the middle men. We spend so much time in this process waiting. Waiting for classes to start, then for them to be over, then for the home study, then to be matched. I'm hoping that by contacting the children's SW's directly we can cut some of that time, and like someone else on here said, we may find out right away that it wouldn't be a good match which would save us some time and heartache.

[likemom2somany]

I have a question we are just finishing up our homestudy in the next couple of weeks and we were told by our agency that the wait for the ages we are looking for is 3 years. We are looking at sibling groups that have one child in school and one not in school yet. Has anyone succesfully completed their adoption thru another state and how long was their wait.

P.S. In our state this is not a very common thing. Mostly international. Hard to find a agency that had done alot of these types of adoption. They said that they do about 4 a year. Alot of the ones that we called said the same thing.

[alidaw4]

Hi Ladies,
can you tell me... when you adopt from photolistings.. is it foster to adopt? When you adopt through another state, how does it work? is it fos/adopt? or do you just adopt outright? Do they do anything to see if you are compatible with the child? How do you acquaint yourself;ef? What happens if you try to get a child form another state and find out you aren't a good match? would that child remain in the system in the state you are in or the one where they are from?

I am pretty committed to adopting any child placed with us, but I have been advised that it is foolish to think that every child we get will be a good match for our family. Should I just STAY in the state that I am in? THANK YOU SO MUCH for any assistance. BlessedMa of 4 of 4

[dawnmei]

When I adopted my daughter from another state, it was called a "pre-adoptive placement." Basically, she was still a foster child, but the intention was that I would adopt her. To me, foater to adopt means the child is placed with a foster family, becomes available, and the family decides to adopt. But I'm not the expert on terminology.

The state I adopted from required a 6 month placement before I could even do any paperwork to adopt K. All that time she wash legally a foster child. I, nor anyone I know, never referred to her that way. She was my daughter. But all subsidies, legal requirements, etc, were from the state she was based in, not mine.

I talked extensively with people who knew K and did a "blind meeting" before I was included in the final selection process. I had tons of info on her and talked to her former FM. I had a pretty good idea of what her issues were and believed I could deal with them. While living with a child is different than reading about one on paper, in general what I was presented with is what I got. I know that's not always the case, but I was fortunate. K had been through other pre-adoptive placements that didn't work, so much effort was put into making sure this one did.

After I was selected as her family, I spent a couple hours with K. She knew why, though if for some reason we didn't click or I saw behaviors I just couldn't handle, I probably could have backed out at that point. Over the course of 5 months I visited her 6 times, for weekends or longer, until ICPC was finalized and she could travel to my state. Then she did several week-long visits at my home.

Hope this helps. Feel free to PM me if you have further questions.

[Binny]

I am more then happy to contact the agents for various children myself, but you have to be home studied already to get that information right?

[lovemy6]

You have to be homestudy ready to contact the workers on the websites.

We had fostered for two years, then decided to go straight adoption. I got my hs and sent out more than 100 copies. We heard back from about 1/3 of the sw's. We got MANY copies of the kids' profiles. What they put on the web is the tip of the kids' issues. We went to committee on three of the kids we were interested in. Other families were selected for the kids ALL 3 of them were placed with in-state families. DCFS doesn't like to deal with ICPC. There's a lot of paperwork, is more expensive for them, and takes a long time.

After a year looking straight adoption, we decided to try foster to adopt again. Our forever kids were placed with us nine months later.