[delenbaas]

Hello I am brand new to adopting - we want to adopt a child between 4-7. I spoke with a Foster parent yesterday that scared me so bad. We currently have a bio child - almost 8 yrs. old. The FParent said if we get falsely accused by the child we are adopting about abuse BOTH children will be taken until investigation is finished. And she said false accuse happens 70% of the time! ANY THOUGHTS?

[CaddoRose]

I would say to talk to other foster parents who have had this happen. I know lots of other foster parents and none of them have had this happen at all. We were told that if a child did make an accusation against us they would remove the foster child and regardless of the outcome, the child would not be placed back with us. If you had already adopted the child, then both children would probably be taken out(depends on where you live and how CPS functions there).

[lucyjoy]

False accusations do happen. However, none of my kids were ever removed during those investigations.

False accusations handling was part of my adoption training. This would be a very good question to ask about during your training process to see how your state handles these incidents.

[delenbaas]

Thanks. Our classes start tonight. I will find out more there. Just scared me so bad I was trying to hear "good" news fast.......

[minibus]

It depends on what the accusation is. Let's say that one child is abusing the other and they say that you know about the abuse, then they might take both children out of the home for their safety. This is a rare occurrence, though. Generally referrals to CPS are solved without taking anyone out of the home. In rare cases, the child who is possibly being abused is taken out of the home. The above situation is extremely rare, in my experience.

[ProspectiveSingleMom]

I would question the 70% figure. If it were really that high, I don't think anyone would be fostering! Maybe the statistic is that 70% of accusations turn out to be false? I have no clue, but you should go back to your source and ask them where they got that number. It could be that it's just what they think and has no basis whatsoever in reality.

[soozoos]

Hi Darla,
What did you find out about this in Texas? Just curious... I am in similar situation in Florida.

[delenbaas]

In Texas we have to take PRIDE classes just as though we were going to run a foster home - not sure if that is the case everywhere. So when I attended the first class, I asked the instructor about it and she said she had never heard of that happening. She was a foster parent (as well as adoptive parent) for over 20 years and that never happened to her or anyone she knows and there were a couple of instances where one of her foster kids had to be removed, but none of the other foster, bio, or adopted kids. I wouldn't worry - I don't think this is going to be an issue - she accidentally let it slip that this happens mostly with teens (false accusation), but that shouldn't prevent you from adopting a teen, etc.

[lovemy6]

I think the 70% figure is the number of foster parents who have had at least once allegation made against them. In training we were told by another foster family that it's not IF you will have an allegation, but WHEN. MOST of the fp's in our association have had at least one allegation made about them. Here, they take the fc out of the home during the investigation. Very seldom do they place the child back in "for our sake". Yeah right. I'm very jaded with DCFS, bc of our very negative experience with them over 10 years.

[joskids]

I think it's realisitic that 70% of foster parents have false allegations against them. NOT 70% having children removed, though. This is why many families I know only take infants to foster because they don't carry the anger that older children do. When an older foster child is angry at a bioparent and that bioparnt is not around, who do you think their anger falls on? I know many foster parents who have had false allegations, us included. The child was not removed, though. Turns out the child was angry and blaming us for her anger. But it is NOT a good feeling to have 3 or 4 CPS workers at your door (unannounced) because a child said they didn't eat in your home, particularly when it is grossly untrue! Anyway, just had to respond. Many foster parents do well with older children but they are prepared and realistic and cover their bases ALL THE TIME. For instance, with a teen girl foster child, they NEVER leave her home with their husband alone. Many young girls make false allegations when they don't get the male attention they are craving and it could totally disarm your family. Hate to be the bearer of bad news . . . just being my realistic self.

Josie

[MamaS]

Out of six foster families in our church, three have had accusations of abuse made by foster children. In each case the foster children were removed, but NOT the biological children. Also, in each case the foster parents were found "innocent" but none of the foster children they had were returned to them -- not even those that were in process foster-to-adopt. But DFCS did give them other children to foster-to-adopt.

[Kids4Me]

We just finished our parenting classes required by the state here in Florida. There were many times during the 10 weeks that my DH said, "are we sure we want to do this, everything sounds so negative"? And it's true, I think they really do focus on some of the worst possibilities to make sure we understood it wasn't going to be all sunshine and roses. Which we knew anyway. I kept telling DH, "just remember, there's no guarantees that you're getting an angel when you have a bio child either. Think back to your bio daughter's teenage years." He'd be like, "oh, yeah." So we perservered and got through the classes. In Florida, the classes are the same for adoptive parents and foster parents, one of the main things I learned was to document things. If you are consistent, and you are good about keeping a journal of what happened, how you handled the situation (good or bad), this can be used if you should have any allegations made against you. We were also told that a huge majority of the children do indeed make false allegations.

As a final note, the minister of the church where are classes were held adopted two boys (8 and 11), the first thing the youngest did was start calling is SW and making allegations against the ministers wife. Of course, CPS, needs to check things out and they did, but the children were never taken away. So I really think it depends on the situation, what the allegations are, and if you have documentation (or something) to help CPS during their investigation.

Good luck with your adoption journey. As I mentioned, you may hear a lot of scary stories during your class, but a huge part of the reason states make these classes a requirement is so that you have plenty of time to really think it through and decide if this is the right move for you.

[bostonbeagle]

Hi False abuse allegations does happen! I have them 3 years ago,read my past posts! I don't want to go into detail,too painful!
That is why I don't foster!
Bostonbegle

[naskew]

Hi,

I am from europe and was intending to post on a compeltely different topic first but this thread caught my attention. Nobody here seems to be saying the words, I'm guessing that's the American trend of using a euphamism where a word already exists. We are talking about accusation of sexual abuse here aren't we?

The reason I'm interested is that we have just adopted a girl from China. She is a delightfully happy child who is getting on really well. However almost from the start she would not allow me to put her to bed. Even remaining in the room will lead to a screaming fit. Now that her English is better we have asked her if she is afraid that I will hurt her and she has said yes. Now you only have my word for it but hurting her is absolutely the last thing I would ever do. We also asked her if someone in her past has hurt her and again she said yes. Anyway that is where we are now and we will be seeking professional advice to sort that out.

But the reason I am replying is because of laws that are being introduced in the UK. In the past it was possible for a person applying for a job involving contact with children to be screened by the police. This screening meant looking into their past to see if they were on the sexual offenders register and had convictions. I totally agree with this policy, nobody wants a paedophile getting a job as a swimming teacher (for example).

They changed the law a little and now they also return accusations too (even if the accusation led to no conviction). Worse they are now introducing a law that allows parents access to this information assuming they have a reason to need it (personal tutor, piano teacher, coach of the local junior football team).

It scares me to think that you could end up on the register because an angry child makes an accusation against you even if subsequently there is proven to be no case to answer. And that as a result you may not only lose your job and prospects of getting another job but you might also find gangs of vigilanti parents outside your house.

[lucyjoy]

It's not just sexual abuse that causes false allegations. One of my kid's favorites was that we starved them.

Had one that would leave marks on himself and then say, "I don't know" when asked what happened knowing full well the adults he was talking to would assume mom did it.

So, I don't think we're avoiding the words. There are lots of types of false allegations. The sex ones are by far the scariest.