[WLD]

Linny,
I've read your posts often and i'm sure you have posted before but it's been awhile since i've been active here and i was wondering...you said you adopted, i believe, a six, seven and three year old that didn't work out. If you don't mind me asking, can you tell me the story behind it. I adopted a 5 year old a couple of years ago and i'd love to hear your story. Mine has not been a perfect experience and in all honesty, i've noticed he has trouble with authority (read..he thinks he should be in charge) Anyway, i'd love to hear your story, if you don't mind sharing again.

[Linny]

Wow! A thread 'just about me'???

I have to tell you that if you want to read more details about how our three older children didn't work out, go to the disruption forums. There, you'll see several of mine with details; as well as others who've been in the same boat.

We have adopted eight altogether. Two were infants adopted internationally (when we were in our twenties); three older children through two separate adoptions (when we were in our thirties); and three domestic infant adoptions (AA) in our late forties.
We're fifty now---each...and I believe we're done.
I also have to say that going through the processes we did in dealing with the three older kids-was enough to 'do anyone in'....and I surely think we'd never adopt older children again----unless it was a VERY RARE Situation indeed and practically an act of congress involved! LOL

Sincerely,

Linny

[joskids]

See Linny? I'm not the only one who loves you!

[WLD]

Thanks Linny. I love my son and would do it all over again because i do love him. But if someone had told me he suffers from this and that before i got to know him, it might be a different story. I acutually posted this because of my concerns which i posted in reply to another poster today. He's 7 now and has been doing well but several things have surfaced over the last two years and i'm wondering if i should get him tested and what that would entail and if it would even help. I was told that he is displaying symptoms of FAS. It's not really advanced, or i wouldn't say it was, but i have no experience in that. Up until now, i just assumed a lot of it was being a little boy his age and being through all he had been through in his little life.

Thanks for replying and you know you have 'arrived' when you have a post dedicated to you. LOL

[SingleMama2B]

I had my DD checked by a Geneticist, as I had a suspicion of FASE. This was confirmed, and she is considered 'mild'. Also then had to visit with a Ped. Neurologist. He diag. her with mild ADHD which is connected with the FASE. She is on the mildest dose of med for focusing in school. She is delayed in school for many reasons.... i.e. she was in the orphanage system for over 5 years, was severly neglected and malnourished, and her orphanage did not start ANY schooling until they where almost or either 8 years old! This was 1st grade with no preparation (i.e. pre-school or kinder classes). With the delays in learning, and she really WANTS to learn all of the time, she now sees a specialist once a week (even through summer) which is a Neuro OT specialist. She is working on her 'brain' literally! Reconnecting some pathways through OT. It is amazing seeing the difference in my DD as time goes by.

My suggestion is... if you feel like there is a possiblity of FASE, go and have it checked out. Preferably with a knowledgable Geneticist that has worked with IA EE children. My DD does NOT have many 'markers' (visually), but does have some to the trained eye. The sooner you know, the sooner you can help your child with early or even late intervention. My DD has blossomed sooooo much the past year, and is thriving with all that we do.

[WLD]

Originally Posted by SingleMama2B

I had my DD checked by a Geneticist, as I had a suspicion of FASE. This was confirmed, and she is considered 'mild'. Also then had to visit with a Ped. Neurologist. He diag. her with mild ADHD which is connected with the FASE. She is on the mildest dose of med for focusing in school. She is delayed in school for many reasons.... i.e. she was in the orphanage system for over 5 years, was severly neglected and malnourished, and her orphanage did not start ANY schooling until they where almost or either 8 years old! This was 1st grade with no preparation (i.e. pre-school or kinder classes). With the delays in learning, and she really WANTS to learn all of the time, she now sees a specialist once a week (even through summer) which is a Neuro OT specialist. She is working on her 'brain' literally! Reconnecting some pathways through OT. It is amazing seeing the difference in my DD as time goes by.

My suggestion is... if you feel like there is a possiblity of FASE, go and have it checked out. Preferably with a knowledgable Geneticist that has worked with IA EE children. My DD does NOT have many 'markers' (visually), but does have some to the trained eye. The sooner you know, the sooner you can help your child with early or even late intervention. My DD has blossomed sooooo much the past year, and is thriving with all that we do.

I feel so naive. I didn't even know what a Geneticist is. So are you saying there are things that can be done besides medication? I"ve been doing some research and see where it says that some things as simple as changing their learning environment around helps. He is doing really well. he attends a small private school and i have a tutor once a week during the summer and notice that he has improved with leaps and bounds with the one on one help. i guess i'm just confused in what the first step would be in getting him tested and if that would provide any solutions other that medicine. I'm also butting heads with my husband who has the personality of 'everything's fine' From the untrained eye, you would never suspect anything. I mean, i can see he has difficulties with certain learning aspects but then he is extremely strong in other area and he does seem sensitive to noise and thinks he should be able do do whatever he wants to do. I hear "why" a thousand times a day and he gets frustrated really easy at times, still other parents say that's normal. i know in my heart though that something just isn't 'normal'. i also know that his parents drank and even cooked meth when he was an infant.

[Linny]

When it comes down to it though.....knowing whether it's 'clearly' FAS or the meth or whatever your baby (they're ALL babies in my eyes, okay?)......anyway....whatever your baby was exposed to while growing in that environment, makes little difference.

I can FULLY appreciate that it would help to know in seeing a geneticist and such.....but so, okay....the MD states, 'Yes, this is definately FAS...or do to the meth, etc'......

It's the symptoms everyone is going to try to help, KWIM? And, since you've had him a long while, it sounds very much like you're on the good track for helping him 'in leaps and bounds'!!! Good for you for sending him to a small private school and getting the attention he needs one on one!

For our 'then' FAS kids, sending them to a very small private Christian school helped a lot; but in the end, the attachment disorders became more of a problem than anything else. That's not to say the drug exposure wasn't a problem---still.....but if a kid can't/won't attach to those trying to help, there's an initial problem that has to be helped.
The issues you've mentioned....the 'excelling in other studies, while lagging in others'....IS common. One 'son' was OVER THE CHARTS in spelling aptitude (like a senior in hs, when he was in sixth grade)...and his reading and comprehension was the same. However, his abilities in math were VERY low and extremely difficult for him to deal with. The attention deficit was typical of a child who was impulsive; and the 'whys'....were much like those of a pre-schooler, when he was well into grade school. (Immaturity is a common thread these kids often share as well.)

Sooooo, whether you spring the bucks for the genetist or not, is one thing. (Some insurance companies wouldn't go that route, I'm sure. Oftentimes, big bucks for those kinds of testing.)
But, if you're not already, consider keeping a journal of his behaviors and what's going on, what seems to trigger some of them (sounds like you already know some of these re: the loud sounds, etc).....and what things seem to help him through them.
I'll bet that over time, you'll see a type of pattern as to what's working and what isn't.
Also, if you have a co-op of special ed in your area---even though he's attending a private school, they can still test him with a battery that might more clearly assess his strengths and weaknesses. They are REQUIRED to test him if you wish and offer services to him as well.
I hope this helps. I have one baby coming up that was drug exposed and the problems this baby may have (and already shows) are still a crap-shoot.

Good luck.....

Most Sincerely,

Linny

(And if I've arrived with my own thread......where AM I going TO???? LOLOLOL Thanks for the compliment!!!! )

[WLD]

Thanks Linny. That's basically what my husband thinks too to some extent. My whole questioning route was just to see if there was something that they do to help that i need to learn how to help. ya have been very helpful. It's just hard because he 'appears' normal but the constant push for thinking he should be able to do anything and get frustrated when he can't gets ME frustrated i want to help him and help my family understand why he does some of the things he does. thanks again guys for trying to help me muddle through this