[feelingreyt]

We are adopting a baby that was placed with us as a relative placement when he was 5 days old. Our adoption will be final in 3 days, when he is 3 months 10 days old. We are only changing his last name. I love his name, plus I feel, since this is a relative adoption we need to be respectful of the bmom. She had intended to parent at first, so I know she put alot of thought into his name and I wouldn't want to take that away from her.

[MamaTo6]

We added a new first name to our son when he was 15 months old. It was difficult to change what we had been calling him for 15 months. We did keep his original name intact, including his original last name. We just ADDED a first name and ADDED our last name to his.

My dh's name is Mike and our sons name is Mikey. Last year we almost adopted a 5 year old boy named Michael. I would have had a hubby and 2 sons all with the same first name. lol.

P.S. Michael is reunited with his father and doing excellent.

[MomwithFive]

Our daughter's name is changing. Her first name is pronounced the same but spelled differently, middle and last names will be completely different. This is what she wants. hth's

[misuspotts]

OUr kids were 3,4, and 6 at placement, 4, 5, and 8 at finalization. We changed their middlenames (all three for different reasons), but kept their first names the same - that's just who they were to us!

[jackiesbooks]

I changed my son's middle name. He was 6. I liked his middle name, but i chose a family name. We talked about keeping his first name that his birth mom chose and his middle name that I chose, so he has part of both families. He was fine with it. He wanted to change his first name too, but I really think he would have regretted that later.

[Suebie]

Hi,
At first we were opposed to changing a child's name...we knew several families who did and we fidgeted at the thought. But when we adopted our 10 year old, our agent explained that giving a child a new name is a form of claiming her. Someone else said it...it gives them a sense of permanancy. Who else would name you but a parent who intends to keep you?
We were counselled to pick a name we would give a birth child and tack it onto our daughter's given name and then give her the option of whether to use it. She jumped at the chance to change her name. To this day, she equates her birth name with mean and evil times in her life. She instanty goes sour if you mention her old name. We let her choose her own middle name(s) for her new birth certificate and she chose to drop everything but her given middle name which is cute.
I really think that being named and using our last name right from the start really gave our daughter a jump start on healing and feeling like she was finally home.

[ocracoke]

I was placed for adoption at the age of 7 years. My parents and I decided together to change my first name. My sister (16 months older then me) opted to keep her name. I allowed my father to really pick my name and he ended up picking a name that I never really liked. I adjusted to it in a few days but never really felt attached to it. When I was 25 I decided to change my name legally to the name I had always wanted and would have picked if it had been my choice. I adjusted to it instantly and have never regretted that decision.

When I decided to adopt I also decided to change my daughter's name. I wanted a chance to name a child. I debated for months on names. And when I finally received my referral for my daughter (18 months old) I realized that she had the name she was meant to have. Per Ethiopian tradition she had no middle name so I decided to make the names that I had picked for her, her middle names (she has two). So she has the name her birth family gave her, the name I picked for her, and a family name. It seems to be working so far.

Renaming your child is a very personal choice.

Samantha

[joskids]

Samantha, our daughter was named Samantha when she was placed at the age of 2. I wanted to change it to Savannah, very similar and would not have been an issue for her (considering her personality). But my husband loved the name Samantha and at the age of 9, it suits her perfectly. The interesting thing is that we chose the name "Noelle" as a middle name, as a way to claim her by adding our own name. And then we found out from the caseworker that she HAD a middle name and it was "Noel". Anyway, we love the name Samantha, so sophisticated and beautiful and just really suits her. Just wanted to share her name story with you . . . .

[Q-rocks]

My husband and I are just starting the adoption process. I have thought about this topic and I'm glad I saw this thread.

I always wanted to name a daughter, Linda, after my mom (who died 17 years ago) and a son, Thomas John, after an old baseball player. We're hoping to adopt a set of two siblings, through our state's foster care system. They're 12 (girl) & 13 (boy) yrs old. At this point I am just hoping to use Linda and Thomas as the middle names. ...but, we'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it. I don't know that they'll even still be available when we're approved.

Whatever happens though, I think I would give the kids the option to either change their name entirely or use a combination of old and new.

Kathy

[Suebie]

Well, I for one think it's important that we name the children when they are placed with us for adoption. We gave our daughter a new first name. What we left up to her is whether she would use it or not. And then we let her decide which, if any, of her birth names she would keep as middle names.
I am sad to read about the adoptees who were given new names they hated. I really hope I don't find out 20 years from now that our daughter hated her new name. But we did give her the option to use it or not.
What we would not recommend is letting the child choose the name. Naming a child is a part of the claiming process, even with birth children. The children might like their new name if they pick it but it doesn't help them feel a part of a new family....which is the purpose.

[momagain5]

we kept our sons first name,gave him a new middle name,and he wanted to keep his birth last name,so that became a second middle name.he was 10 when we adopted him.I think older kids should have some input.if they feel strongly one way or another,try to go with their feelings.

[mrsred]

I [posted earlier on this thread, saying we had not changeed eithr of our adopted kids' names, though we had considered changing our daugher's. Since she was 10 we left the choice entirely up to her.
Now we have our third placement that we are hoping to go to adoption. Her name is "cute" but not a name I would ever have chosen. I won't say the name, but suffice it to say that usually when you are saying it you would be referring to a type of car. I worry that what is "cute" at 4 may be a source of ridicule when she is a preteen. With that in mind we have decided it is best to cvhange her name. We are changing it to a name that her current name would be a logical nick-name to. That way she can go by her current name for as long as she wants to. We are also changing her middle name to Joy, because a) it is close to my middle name, b) I like it and c) it fits her.

[Mkuhlmann06]

Our son was 10 when we met and 11 when placed. Although I wouldn't have ever selected his first name for him, there was no indicated he would have ever wanted to change it. He did take his last name, make it his middle name and then added our last name... it actually has a nice sound to it. He made this decision on his own only several weeks after being with us (it was a preadoptive placement).

[lakewoman5822]

i'm an adult adoptee. my name was changed 3 times. i completely resent that.

[sunflower1220]

We are adopting a little boy who currently uses his middle name as his name already. We love the name and it fits him perfectly, so we plan on moving his middle name to his first name and then adding 2 names in as his middle names. It's going to make for a long name with initials that will be LHLJ but it's a name that is very, very dear to my husband as it's his grandfather who raised him name. L will never get to meet him as he passed away several years ago and we feel it will be a way for him to feel bonded to his great grandpa as he will always see numerous pictures and hear stories about him. The middle names are a bit dated but they work and are important to DH they be used.

I personally always wanted to name our son either Cole Drew or Storm Chase/Hunter, but L's first name fits him WAY too well and once DH's g'father passed away it was pretty much a given just because of the relationship they had.

L's therapist has recommended that we start right away (even though we can't legally change his name until finalization, obviously) buy putting up something in his room that has his entire full new name on it and tell him this is going to be his name and while he might have to be called one thing at school it's only a technicality. Then go over his name regularly to help him get used to it.

lake~ I am so sorry to read that you resent your name change I think all of us as adoptive parents worry about what is best and how our children will feel about it when they get older. It's such a tough decision to make.