[GeeGeeTaylor]

Once we are armed with our home study and clearances.

I do not intend on sitting here with my feet up and waiting for someone else to "match" us.

I know I am only torchering myself by serfing all the faces of waiting children. Odds are the ones we have been keep in our AA book will be long gone by the time I can inquire.

This is how I imgaine the process to work. Please correct me and add in your own information!

I appologize for being a forums hog. But I am trying to bring a little life to it. This is a great rescource and needs life and activity to grow and continue to be so.

Ok....

HOPE! End of March finished with all paper work.

April first, set out to start contacting the case workers to inquire about any children we are interested in first.

Something tells me it's going to be like competeing for the highest bid at the end of an ebay auction. Or playing poker, hoping you have the best hand. IF there is an empty seat at the table to join in the "game" to compete for these children.

Sorry I do NOT mean to "demean" the situations, it's vulgar that it's that way, but starting to see that it is going to be.

In theory, they like our profile, and we are "one of the choosen" to be considered.

IF we are decided on as the "family" to be. We visit child, Depending on where etc.

If all goes well they are placed with us and we are under governing of a caseworker for 6 months.

End of 6 months recomendation for permancy.

We start the legal process of the adoption.

Adopt... bam done....

Ok... So that about it?

And realistically, inquireing about a child fast enough to be considered.... Depends on how fast and lucky you are. This SERIOUSLY seems like a vicious compition!!!

Does being, OVER Zealous? Meaning, tracking the exact caseworker and contacting them directly, making arrangements to fax directly our information. Will that help the process?

[sunflower1220]

Well I can tell you that we are going thru DHS for our hopeful children and the initial paperwork process was fast. We started everything in March and everything on our end was done and sent for final approval (this includes the mandatory classes) in September. Early October we received word everything was OK'd and we were "officially" waiting. Our CW says the process will not be a fast one, that numerous families sometimes are submitted for one child and the child's cw has to decide the best one.

Originally we were mislead. We too had hopes of having our children by Christmas due to what we had been told in the beginning only to be retold something else later. All I can offer you on my end is check with your worker regularly (and submit your info on any waiting children you see, however expect some possible negativity from your CW about the "waiting children" placed on the websites). Just stay positive and before you know it you will have your family. I learned the hard way it's better to give yourself a long term goal (like say having children in home by end of this year or next, not have children in home by August because unfortunately since your pprwork probably wont even be done and approved until March at the earliest it will be hard to be matched and have the children living with you by August, though I hope you do!)

[GeeGeeTaylor]

Well we started the home study today.

I am so not comfortable with our case worker as it is. She is just so prim and proper, and we are so laid back and .. not sure what. On top of that she connerdicted what the state of PA has told us as rules/regulations etc.

Even going as far as to say "I know I'm correct, and the state is wrong." This is the SWAN network she is stuffing in my face as being wrong... PA's Adoption network.

And it's really starting to get annoying. We are really considering telling them to just stuff it, cause I am not going to get screwed for 2500 dollars. The new state laws are really getting ridiculous as well, and made it sound almost as if, our home has to go over this insaine inspection for this that and all kinds of crap now. New "act 1??" Any even minor infractsons can deem us unfit... so then what? they come take our natural children away.

I seriously think this woman is trying to talk us OUT of doing it. That she wants no part of working with us or something.

I showed her one of the print outs we have in our AA book, and she said they are from South Carolina. I said yes.

She got a strange look on her face.

So Here is how I was educated. She is my case worker. like an attorney, WE are not to do anything but sit back with our tumbs up are duffs and wait on her to get to things. She said they are give her a hard time, when she does inquirys of out of state children. Because they are working for the state of PA. WE never get or see our home study... PERIOD... if we want it we have to pay them the 2500 dollars flat out. Then we can do what we want and be our own representative.

Either way... we are screwed for the 2500 I realize now.. and have no choice but to come up with it. 1 the state said we MUST adopt over the age of 10. The SWAN web site "does" say other wise. But the rules have changed and site has not be updated. I spoke with the state, and these are all very recent changes.

So if we are not wanting over the age of 10. WE have to pay the 2500. So. Now I MUST find a way to pay this. Other wise, we are at her mercy to make calls and inquirys about children we may see even "IN" Pa. Because this woman just "doesn't have the time"

She said it usually takes 7-10 days for any inquiry. 1st we leave her a message and she is out of the office at least 3 days a week. 2nd she calls and leaves message for the "childs" caseworker. which in return can be out of the office 3 days a week. Some she said only works "fridays". So then, if she is out on a friday, it's a game of tag.

She also told us that she has so many families waiting, she has 2 that have been qualified since 2002 and not strick on "what they want" for adoption, but have not been matched yet, one has decided to give up instead of "redoing" the records checks and everything all over this year again. she has 1 from 2003 and one from 2004.

So I have no problem with any of it, the study, just her attitude, and spatting at me when I said we are not staying in PA, and we want our home study. "then you'll pay us 2500." Which is a Lie! BOLD FACED LIE.

The state pays them PERIOD. We will have to repay the state of PA.. PERIOD. If we adopt from other states, they will repay PA. This woman and their organization is twisting it. They are after double payment.

I seriously feel we are done.

[Lorraine123]

I'm not clear if you are going through the state or through a private agency. That makes a difference in who owns your homestudy.

As far as your list of what happens that you posted in your original post here. You are correct on the procedure, however, you have greatly simplified it. It doesn't happen that smoothly. You will inquire about many children and decide not to send in your homestudy. Children on photolistings have many issues that are not revealed due to privacy. Even once you talk to the worker and decide to send in your homestudy, you will not be told all about the child until you are the chosen family. At that point, you may decide that the child is not the one for you.

Also, your worker is correct on how long it can possibly take to get calls returned. Speediness is not a known concept in this procedure. Often you try to call and leave messages over and over and by the time you get through, the worker is no longer taking home studies. It can be very frustrating.

I sometimes feel that the frustration of the procedure is preparing you for the difficulties of have an older adopted child. If this is too much, then once the child is with you, if will be too much. Older adopted children are tough.

[GeeGeeTaylor]

I simplified it on purpose yes.

My only problem with the system is the conflicting answers between state and agency.

Which has been clarified now. COMPLETELY.
The state is giving me "miss information" due to changes, that some give old info, some give the new info. I talked to a superviser this week now. The Agency IS correct! COMPLETELY!

Until they are paid in another way, they have to conduct themselves completely as a "State" agency adoption situation.

We are working on clearing up that problem, and getting them their 2500. once that is done, they are then a free agent, and we are also aloud to be our own agent as well. *once they are paid the 2500 from another scource the the state of PA, We own our homestudy*

So yes luv, simplified for "as it happens" process, but time wise? If we can act as our own free agent of the process, this can speed up the process. But realistically we are still looking that it could be a year, or longer. As well as, as long as we work with the same agency and CW, the homestudy will have to be refreshed, as well as clearances. Keep our records for vehicles, insurance etc updated as needed over the time.

I do not simplify the time line. Granted in a perfect world. April 1st we are fee paid, and armed with our homestudy I start inquiring about children across the US. Someone gets back to me and a month later we go meet said future child*ren*. By School starting they come to stay with us.

But realistically? I could be beating my phone lines for a year or two.

My frustrations are coming simply from the conflict of quoting "Laws" or "State regulations"

Every single organizations seems to make their own rules and I have now this week found out it's due to each's interpritation of the Federal Regulations that are soon going to be brought into PA.

[Lorraine123]

Just one thing to be aware of - Some workers will not talk with prospective parents. They will only talk with other social workers. Therefore, you cannot get any information on some kids on your own. I don't remember which states were like that - Oregon I think, don't know where else. PA will talk with prospective parents, that is where my daughter is from.

[GeeGeeTaylor]

Most of the children we are keeping notes and book marks on at this point are SC, TX and... Ark

Wanna know whats weird. everytime something frustrates us in the process, something comes along and snaps us out of it. I was not goign to make any calls or anything. We were just going to "stop" and give up. Then my daughter came home in tears, there is a girl she is friends with, who wants a family and to be adopted so badly. No one wants her.

My daughter said to me mom, She is so pretty, she makes good grades, she isn't on medication, she doesn't get introuble at school, she doesn't see a shrink. She is fighting for her rights to be free for adoption. But no one wants her, I don't understand why? This is one of the many foster/adopted friends my children have. I know my daughter goes threw a lot of emotions on behalf of her friends. This young lady and my daughter talk about "wanting a family" long before we made this choice last month.

Now that my daughter has invited her for her birthday party, my daughter said the girl asked her, "do you think if your parents meet me and like me, they would want to adopt me?"

I don't know what to think about this. This young lady could be a grand sceme of the reality of the system and other children. "A grand con artist" Or she could be full heartedly sincere, and honestly fustrated being a foster child, and just wants to be a "real" daughter.

But at least, it's the sign that came to say... Keep going! It's all worth it.. It will be all worth it!

She will be here tomorrow evening for a sleep over, so we will see if this young lady can enjoy a birthday party/sleep over, or spend time trying to impress my husband and I.

There will be at least 2 foster children here and at least 2 that are adopted, for the party. I honestly think my daughter enjoys these kids more so, because in one sense they are more mature in alot of ways? if that makes sense. At least more serious about things. Which my daughter is very mature and serious compared to alot of teens. She refers to as "so childish"

[sunflower1220]

Hope the sleepover/party went well. I must say though I'm surprised you were able to take the foster children, especially for an entire overnight stay. I live in OK and there are strict rules for foster children. In fact when we had to take our classes (foster and adoptive parents in same class) it was stressed unless you have an "approved" person (approved meaning someone who was on record with DHS for whatever reason and the reason was non abusive) you can not leave them with someone other than yourself. For instance once we get our children during the time they are still considered "state children" we can't even let them stay the night at our parents unless we are there with them.

It's good to see they aren't as strict there, I am a firm believer children in general, and especially children going thru what these kids have gone thru need to be able to have fun. A sleepover sounds like fun to me, so I'm glad they got that chance.