[MrsD]

Hi,
I'm new to the adoption process; we're in the process of filling out our application. My husband and I are open to a sibling set but we're not sure on the age range for the older child. We know we'd like the younger to be 0-1 and we originally thought 0-5 for the older, but I've been doing some research and I worry about RAD and other attachment issues while also trying to parent an infant. Any advice, suggestions, etc? Is there a certain age we should stay below? I'm sorry if I seem ignorant!
Thanks for your help!
Keri

[Lorraine123]

RAD is caused by abuse or neglect during the first 3 years of life. So, even a 1 year old child can have RAD. However, in general, it will not be as severe and it is more treatable. The younger the child begins treatment, the greater the chance of healing. A five year old has a great chance to heal, but it will take work on your part and the child's part. My daughter came to us at age 6 and she has pretty severe RAD. I know that I could not have parented her and a younger child at the same time. It would not be possible. Also, remember a child who is between the ages of 0-1 will probably (and I say probably) have drug exposure in utero. That child will also have some issues to contend with. Its the rare child that comes into foster care without issues of some sort.

[LisArno]

My husband and I adopted 3, 4, and 10 year old siblings from Poland. We've now been home two months. Though we don't have an infant, our "older" children are happy, healthy, and intelligent. We've had absolutely no problems with attachment. The youngest two children were in an orphanage for a year and the oldest in a foster home. I suggest "researching" various countries or U.S. foster children to find out what would best match your family - it appears RAD is more of an issue in some countries than in others.

[misuspotts]

Our three were placed with us when they were 3, 4, and 6. They had been in foster care for 2 1/2 years. Attachment issues are there, but are relatively minor. Their caseworker feels that they are 100% attached to us. They've been with us since July.

[Sunshinemom]

From what I understand it's just as important to know how many separations they child has had, and not just concentrate on their age when it comes to RAD. I have a friend who adopted a 12 month old, who you would imagine would not even remember anything, but they came to find out that she had six placements in those twelve months and is now a very troubled 5 year old who has finally been diagnosed and is being treated for RAD.

It's good that you are looking into all of this as you are getting started. This board will probaby be a wealth of information for you as it has been for many of us!

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by Sunshinemom

I have a friend who adopted a 12 month old, who you would imagine would not even remember anything, but they came to find out that she had six placements in those twelve months and is now a very troubled 5 year old who has finally been diagnosed and is being treated for RAD.

I had a foster to adopt placement of a 1 month old baby girl. She went from her birthmom to a relative placement (which didn't work out)-So I was her third placement. I had her until she was 4 months old. Her paternal aunt petitioned for (and received) custody from the judge even though DHS found her unfit. The baby was turned over to aunt at 4.5 months. At 9 months, the baby had to be removed from the aunt and was placed in a new foster/adopt home. I think about her all the time and hope she'll be alright. My mother said "She'll be fine. It's not like she's old enough to remember anything" but I think it's deeper than memories. It's that constant interruption of her attempt to bond during her first year of life. She was in 5 different homes in 9 months. That has to make an impact on her ability to bond and attach. I just hope her new family will be commited to her.

So I agree with someone who says a 12 month old or two year old can develop RAD.