[ElsieC]

I met my daughter - who is now 10 months old - back in September and got her home 3 weeks ago. She is awesome and adapting and attaching very well indeed. During the 3 months I spent visiting her - on every second weekend - I got to know another little girl in the Crisis Centre who I grew very, very fond of - although of course my visits focused on being with my daughter.

Two weeks before I brought my daughter home I was told the other little girl was having her paperwork submitted for adoption.

I cannot stop thinking about her and wanting to be the one that adopts her (I have yet to enquire if I can, so soon after the first - unfinalised - adoption). Then practical thinking takes over - how will it effect the daughter I have; as a single woman can I afford two kids (yes for now, but who knows what the future holds); and also of course effectively parent two children? I live and work in a former eastern bloc country with no family but good friends for support. Then again my new daughter and I are in a great routine - will it be destroyed etc etc - so many questions!!! (Rambling a bit I know) The girl in question is Roma and aged about 3 - for both these reasons I know her chances of being adopted are very small here - but I don't think my desire to adopt her is based on 'guilt' for leaving her behind. I really do have strong feelings for her, and am not contemplating a second adoption of any other child.

I spoke with a friend who has a bio son and she told me that after giving birth she was desperate for about 9 months for number 2, so is this a kind of normal emotional/hormonal feeling when you have your child to want more as the feelings of love are so intense?

Any advice/shared experience and words of wisdom would be appreciated. I'm not looking for anyone to make the decision for me but would really like some different perspectives.

Thanks

[sjd314]

It sounds to me like you made a connection with this little girl. And perhaps you a mourning the loss of this connection.

Just a thought anyway.

Personally I was a single mom (but due to divorce) for several years and me and my two daughters got by just fine.

Good luck on whatevery you decide.

Sara
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