[vivismom]

How many of you brought other children with to the country to adopt your new son/daughter? What are the pros and cons?

[Kimberj71]

We opted not to bring our other 3 children with us on our pick up trips. They were ages 6.5, 5, and 2.5. We knew that in Guatemala there are times when we'd have to wait in line or at the Embassy and just felt more comfortable leaving them with Grandma and Grandpa here in the States. And we weren't extremely well traveled ourselves. So the thought of juggling 4 or 5 children in a country where we know only a tiny bit of the language was daunting to us.

In making your decision I think you might want to consider your daughter's age, maturity, how she might react to a new sibling, and how long you will be in the country. Some kids really need/want to be involved in all aspects of the process. Other children think it's great that they get a vacation away from mom and dad while their parents are gone. You also might want to consider the age of the child you're adopting and if he/she has been around other children . Realize that often times children are stressed when they first meet their new families and may become ill which might require you take him/her to a doctor in Columbia. Would you be comfortable doing that alone while one of you stay with your bio daughter? Or with bringing your bio daugther along? Often times new children cry alot. How would that affect your bio daughter? Other times the new child is extremely clingy and dependent on one parent. How independent is your bio daughter? Also, how much travel experience does your bio daugther have? It's almost certain that your new child will never have flown. Do you feel comfortabe flying with two inexperienced flyers? Do you feel this would be a good time for your children to bond? Many parents bring their other children because they feel it will help create a memory and help with bonding.

In the end, I don't think there's a right or wrong answer on this one. Just be sure to consider all the angles and how you might handle them...either way with or without your bio daughter.

Good luck in your decision!

Kim

[vivismom]

Good points! Our daughter will be about 2 when we go to Colombia, and the trip could be 3-6 weeks. Her first time out of the country was to Mexico to visit relatives and she was great, but only 4 months old.. I guess I will see closer to the time of travel how I think she would behave... Thank you!

[foxl]

We have one 4 y/o daughter. We took her along (also Guat) to pick up our 2 y/o son.

1) she had NEVER been away from us overnight.

2) our son is a TODDLER. Having her along would help him understand that he could trust us.

3) we wanted her acquainted with the adoption process of pickup, since she herself was adopted.

We were right, it worked. She was an absolute trouper, including racing through Houston Airport to catch a connection, and keeping her brother entertained and feeling safe!

I know others who chose not to take their very active son along. I am not sure I would want to take more than one along -- the mischief could be overwhelming!
Linda

[Mindy82]

I think another thing to consider is, do you want to be away from your daughter for 3-8 (yes 8) weeks?... It's possible that you spend as much as 2 months in Colombia... That's what my agency told me anyway

[shine4bella]

dear Vivismom,
The most important question is how old a child. Very young means you will be caring for 2 babies all the time. A little older means a possible quick sip of water from the faucet which is not a good idea. A teenager traveled with me and he had the time and the experience of a lifetime. for travel the older the better