Hello, let me give some background about our family. My husband is active duty military. We are in a very diverse community. We are both white. We have two adopted little girls who are also white. We are wanting to do a third and final adoption. We have been reading a lot of available situations and these are for biracial babies. We are open to a biracial baby, but are unsure if this would be fair to the child. We don't want the child to feel like they are different or that they have no one to identify with in our family. Can anyone share their thoughts with us? Are we worrying too much or are we thinking along the right lines and should not add a biracial baby to our family? We just want a child to love. I know the world does not always see it that way and I don't want to make life harder for a child.

[Linny]

Well put moiraerin! (Hope I spelled it right?)

May I also add, that while the rest of the world goes on about the 'differences' adoptive parents should make about skin color, that the child will see you and your husband as 'mommy and daddy'. I realize the world can be very cold. We have adopted from other countries, and most recently, an AA baby; but if it is in your heart that it is alright... do it.

I know some might say, "Oh, but what about when the child gets older.....etc." There may be issues of color, it's true. But I believe there are more common factors between all of us, than differences. It's how comfortable you feel handling any issues that might arise. A predjudicial world awaits in many places...regardless of the color of your parents.


Linny

[Linny]

Safire:
THANK YOU FOR YOUR POST! In a world where so many of us that adopt across racial lines, are sometimes told that 'we are doing such an awful thing'....it's nice to know that even in '69 (and what a time THAT was!) it was possible to have an interracial family and everyone was basically happy within it!!!!!!

THANK YOU!


And to think that "It wasn't that we needed to know our birth parents, just identify with ourselves." (If I'm not mistaken...that sounds an awful lot like a 'normal' kid!!!!!!!!!)

Bless you!


Most sincerely,

Linny

[34andhopeful]

Can you tell me where you are seeing the aa/cc ituations? My husband and I are a transracial couple (AA/CC) and we hope to adopt a biracial baby. We are working with a facilitator in CA and alot of our money is tied up there. We have spent 7500 so far and we do not have any good prospects...

[Linny]

In my state, facilitation is illegal. Once you have 'signed up' with a facilitator, I don't know how free you are to network with other facilitators or attorneys.
That said, you can go to many websites of facilitators and such that will show 'situations', 'hotline', etc. (ABC website (not the agency website.....adoption) has a 'hotline' with almost daily reports of babies.
A facilitator out of Mich is "Heaven Sent" (web site called the same). I have not worked with her, but have not read or heard any 'poor reports'. Another is TLA adoptions (website called the same) who also report 'situations'.

As I stated, I don't know how much freedom you have to work with others, but those are two that seem to have good reputations?

If considering working with an attorney, check the website for the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. You can click onto their map and find ones closest to you. Attorneys in this group are to adhere to high ethical standards. In our case, our attorney is excellent and highly respected for the efforts and fairness she displays.
I hope that I may have helped you.

Sincerely,

Linny

[34andhopeful]

Linny, I am surprised that its illegal. I do know that there is no sutandard that they have to adhere to. The group that I am using is adoptlink. The woman that I speak with seems to be very responsive, I believe that she is doing the best that she can - however, I was hoping to be matched with a situation by now...

[SuburbanMom]

I live in Ohio and facilitators are illegal here. There's also a big need for people to adopt biracial and AA babies. My husband and I are both caucasian, but open to a child of any race. We aren't even finalized on our homestudy, but out social worker wants to start sharing our profile next month. Do you have a completed homestudy? Can you work with agencies in Ohio (or Kentucky or other states)? Many agencies here have reduced fees for their AA and bi-racial programs and waive application fees. The program we're in is $2000 and others I looked into were $4000-$5000 (total). I hope everything works out for you - especially since you've already put so much money into it.

[katherinejames]

I am the eldest of four adoptees. We were adopted by caucasian
parents. I am caucasion. Siblings include one caucasian abrother, two afro-canadian asister & abrother. The one thing my aparents insisted upon is that we become knowledgeable in cross cultural issues. We did havesome uncomfortable moments but by and large it gave us a greater understanding of ethnic/cultural problems. It also made us extremely tolerant of differences, which today is a godsend.

[34andhopeful]

Surburban mom,

We can work with any agency in the country. I can also work with facilitators. Can you PLEASE send me the agencies that you speak about? my email is p_jesten@yahoo.com.

[abigail]

OUR DAUGHTER WHOM WE ADOPTED IS BI-RACIAL. WE LIVE IN THE DEEP SOUTH. WHEN WE DECIDED TO ADOPT WE DID SO SEEKING A BI-RACIAL OR AFRICAN AMERICAN CHILD. BOTH ME AND MY HUSBAND ARE CAUCAISAN. BEFORE I FOUND OUT THAT IT WOULD BE VERY UNLIKLY TO CONCIEVE. I HAD A DREAM ABOUT ADOPTING A LITTLE BI-RACIAL DAUGHTER. THE SOCIAL WORKES AND ALL THOUGHT WE WERE CRAZY FOR WANTING TO DO SO. BUT WE WERE PRESISTANT AND HAD OUR HOMESTUDY COMPLETED. WE ENDED UP ADOPTING THROUGH A OPEN/PRIVATE SITUATION. OUR LITTLE GIRL IS WELL ADAPTED AND WELL RECIVIED BY FRIENDS AND FAMILY. SHE CALLS HERSELF BROWN AND MOMMY AND DADDY ARE WHITE. BUT SHE SAYS THATS OK BECAUSE GOD MAKES ALL KINDS OF FAMILIES. SINCE SHE STARTED SCHOLL THERE HAVE BEEN A FEW THINGS COME UP BUT WE AND HER HANDELED IT WELL. IT HELPS BECAUSE OUR CHURCH IS INTERGRATED AND THERE ARE OTHER BI-RACIAL CHILDREN THERE AS WELL. BUT YOU KNOW WHEN I LOOK AT MY DAUGHTER I DONT SEE THE DIFFERANCES SHE IS JUST MY LITTLE GIRL. I KNOW OF A COUPLE OF AGENCYS WHO NEED COUPLES TO ESPECIALLY ADOPT BIRACIAL CHILDREN. WE HAD PLANNED TO USE ONE OF THEM AND STILL MAY. ONE HAS SOME GREAT INFORMATION ON TRASRACIAL ADOPTION AND RACE ON ITS WEBSITE. I WILL EMAIL THEM TO YOU. BUT IF YOU ARE OPEN TO IT IT IS A WONDERFUL EXPERIANCE AND IF WE CAN RAISE A CHILD AS A RACIAL MIXED FAMILY IN OUR AREA WHICH IS KNOWN FOR RACIAL HATRED AND WE HAVE, IT WAS THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR US

[34andhopeful]

Abigail, we are VERY open to a biracial child. My husband is white and I am black. So, that is our preference. Any information that you can send me would be greatly appreciated. And how wonderful it is when your dreams come true. I am very happy for you!

My email address is p_jesten@yahoo.com

[midwifemichelle]

A couple of you mentioned knowing about specific agencies. My husband and I very much want to adopt an AA or bi-racial. I would appreciate the names of agencies that you have heard of, especially those that are not horribly expensive. My husband and I are hoping not to go into considerable debt by adopting. I am so happy to have this chat room to share info...I appreciate all of you very much!!!

[SuburbanMom]

When I started my adoption journey, I called many agencies. Some were recommended by friends, others I got by simply opening up my phone book to "Adoption" If you are open to a bi-racial or African American infant, my experience is that you should have many options and definitely some will be more affordable than others. I would suggest you start by calling any agency with "Social Services" in its name - Catholic, Lutheran, Jewish, etc. Most of them don't require you to be of their faith for an AA/bi-racial adoption (and their fees are usually considerably lower). Then call any non-profit agencies you can. Better yet, can you find any that are public/private? Our special needs infant adoption is going to cost us nothing. CSS's fee is $2000 - the same amount our state reimburses for a sn adoption. The options are out there if you look.

I learned quite a bit by calling. You don't have to go through your state to adopt a waiting child. Many social service and non-profit agencies will do your homestudy (with no cost) and can do placement. We're becoming foster parents through Catholic Social Services. Our license will be recognized by the state, but the training is done individually and taking only a fraction of the time it would have if we'd gone to our county classes.

[Cris]

First of all I think what a great world we could live in if our families are of all different races. No one could be racist. We have three children. Our first son was Biracial and our other two are AA. My husband and I are both white. It was never a worry to me about if I should or shouldn't. I knew in my heart what path I was meant to take and that the children I was intended to have would come and they did. I know I will raise my children to love all of our differences as well as other peoples'. I know they will have difficult times. We do now with comments. But we are happy, our children are happy and that is what truely matters. Kids need love and that is what we all have to give.


As far as agencies. I live in Ohio also and we also called around to many agencies. We went and interviewed them and when we found our agency we knew it was the one. We began our homestudy in March of 2000. It was suppose to take six months, but they were so in need of people to adopt biracial and AA children we had our first son at three days old in May 2000. In may of 2001 we adopted our second son at 17 months old, and in March of 2002 we adoped our lates child who was two days old when we brought him home. We are now on the list for another infant. Our agency is currently working with several birhtmoms that are due in the next few months. So we don't think we will be waiting much longer.

My suggestion is if you don't feel comfortable with your agency keep looking. There are so many children out there and you shouldn't have to wait too long.

[34andhopeful]

Chris, if you do not mind. What agency are you using in OH. There are so few agencies in VA that do domestic adoption. Most of them specialize in International adoption.