[oceanica]

I was watching a show about kids in juvenile detention facilities, and there was one boy in particular who struck a cord with me. He was really a bad kid, and had multiple charges since he'd been in his early teens relating to stealing cars and assault. But there was something positive about him... he was funny and articulate and if I was having a conversation with him I wouldn't necessarily think he was a dangerous person. But I also noticed how dark his skin was and how he looked like he'd been working out, and I wondered if there was some of a self fulfilling prophecy here. Did he start out OK and then from day 1 everyone expected him to be bad because of his color? Were people suspicious and unfriendly? Did they treat him differently?
His mom was on there too and she talked to him sincerely and told him he wasn't raised to be like this and if he didn't straighten up she wasn't going to have anything to do with him. All the other boys in there were also very dark-skinned. In this particular show I didn't see anybody who was light skinned or even biracial looking.
The reason I wonder is that my son is going to be quite dark if he turns out anything like both his birthparents and bgrandpa. I wonder how people will view him when they don't know him.
I can't really stand the thought of anyone thinking badly of my sweet, smiling little guy!! Right now at 6 months old he basically loves everyone and smiles and laughs for everyone, and he just charms the world. Everyone he meets is his best friend.
I'm sure these kids in juvenile detention are the product of a bad environment, possibly poor parenting, and poverty, but I wonder how much of a role if any does skin color play in their situations.
What are your thoughts? Has this topic actually been studied?

[manni28]

I seriously don't skin tone had anything to do with the kid being in jail. Yes, some black folks have "issues" about skin tones, but it's their problem. If you look at most AA celebrities they are visibly black ( medium to Dk. brown). I don't mean any harm, but please get those negative thoughts out of your mind. I also find that when it does come to issues about skin tones most ( not all) whites don't seem to have the same "hang-ups" that some black folks do; they actually compliment us on the richness of our skin.

-Manni

[sparkle1908]

No one expects their child to turn out bad regardless of their skin tone...I have a light skinned nephew who has been in trouble with the law..he wasn't raised in a bad environment, poverty, etc...both of his parents are still married, etc.. he just CHOSE to make bad decisions like everyone does at some point in their lives...

If this show was on MSNBC then I saw it as well and the young man has/had a desire to keep stealing cars or as he put it he had a "need for speed"..he knew his choices were wrong and they caused him to end up where he was...

People will perceive your child in a certain way regardless of their skin tone...sure, there are some deep seated prejudices in some folks regarding darker skinned people, but that's their problem...as long as you raise your son with value and character and he makes the right choices in life, he will be fine....

Stereotypes live forever!!!

[MB80sgirl]

Originally Posted by manni28

I seriously don't skin tone had anything to do with the kid being in jail. Yes, some black folks have "issues" about skin tones, but it's their problem. If you look at most AA celebrities they are visibly black ( medium to Dk. brown). I don't mean any harm, but please get those negative thoughts out of your mind. I also find that when it does come to issues about skin tones most ( not all) whites don't seem to have the same "hang-ups" that some black folks do; they actually compliment us on the richness of our skin.

-Manni

I think dark skin is beautiful. I'm hoping the baby girl we adopt (if we ever find her, we've been waiting a really long time & I'm feeling pretty discouraged about) will have very dark skin. But of course if she's lighter we'll love her just the same!
As for me, I'm very pale & sunburn very easily. I'd love to have some color in my skin & be able to enjoy the nice weather more! At my job we have uniforms & in the summer we have shorts. The 1st day I wore my shorts my boss looked at my legs & said very loudly, "You need to go tanning!"

[oceanica]

I don't want to be negative, but I think colorism is a problem and I am upset by it. Colorism is a problem from what I've seen in aa communities and in East Indian communities and others.
But what bothers me more is that it is a problem with police forces and with the general white population in America, even these days, and I don't want my boy to be a victim of it!!
I remember a big flap when Time magazine darkened the photo of OJ to make him seem more menacing a while back. And I know it was in college I read studies about this but I can't seem to find them right now. I did find some links which I thought were disturbing. The one about Beyonce is a little OT though.

Darkening Madia (updated) - Sepia Mutiny

Beyonce Knowles Bad, good, awful Celebrity Plastic Surgery before and after pictures - rhinoplasty, breast augmentation, breast implants, breast enlargement, face lift, chin implant, tummy tuck of famous people

[Happywife]

I definitely think it is a real and serious problem. And I also remember when they were darkening pics of OJ Simpson.

[millie58]

It can be a problem but it can be educational and eye-opening. My oldest son is a dark chocolate. 2 years ago, he played PAl football and one of the dads made a comment about how nice my son was. If this man's only exposure to darker skinned teenage boys is what he sees on TV, it won't be positive. this was a way to educate him. People have also made comments about how articulate and well-spoken my son is. that being said, he doesn't "hang out on the street" at night (not that I know of). I think there used to be a negative with darker skinned kids but with darker actors and singers, like Tyrese, Seal and others, people are seeing that "darker" is not necessarily "bad".

[manni28]

It can be a problem but it can be educational and eye-opening. My oldest son is a dark chocolate. 2 years ago, he played PAl football and one of the dads made a comment about how nice my son was. If this man's only exposure to darker skinned teenage boys is what he sees on TV, it won't be positive. this was a way to educate him. People have also made comments about how articulate and well-spoken my son is. that being said, he doesn't "hang out on the street" at night (not that I know of). I think there used to be a negative with darker skinned kids but with darker actors and singers, like Tyrese, Seal and others, people are seeing that "darker" is not necessarily "bad".

Millie:

Are sure it wasn't because the man never met a black person in person? I'm AA and from what you wrote, it sounds like he's never met a well-spoken black teen/person. I don't think it had to do with skin tone.

-Manni

[sparkle1908]

Originally Posted by millie58

It can be a problem but it can be educational and eye-opening.

ITA!!!

Of course there is a problem with colorism...always has been and always will be...the ONLY thing you can do is raise your child in the correct manner and teach them that not everyone will be as accepting/open to them because of their skin tone(which was God given)..and this includes people of their own race....but you shouldn't live in "fear" about what may/may not happen..you have no control over others and what their beliefs are about someone else...

[sbaglio]

oceanica, I agree that colorism is a problem, but not in the they're-more-likely-to-be-arrested sort of way. I think it has to do more with this concept of beauty (or handsomeness, I guess) in US society.

A lighter-skinned man is not as threatening to some people, and may not be followed around in every store as a darker-skinned man might. But I think that police would find both suspect because of their color, regardless of their shade KWIM?

To be frank, many black males in US society get by by not appearing threatening, and by putting forward their best face. Even though people wear jeans and casual shirts in my office every day, I always dress to the 9s, with dress shirt and pants, a tie, and classy shoes. The impression I make matters. My demeanor is the same.

Think Barack Obama. If he looked like Alan Keyes, or presented himself in a different way, would he have gotten as far as he has? Perhaps, but I have my doubts.

Sorry, I'm SO on a tangent here! But I was just throwing out some thoughts.

[nickchris]

Much attention to appearance for sure. Depending on how much time in the sun. My husband is darker skinned, and little old ladies of all colors will come up to him and ask for directions. lol Maybe he does not present himself in a menacing way. Anyhow, yes there is the perception of darker= evil. We as parents need to be aware, but not prescribe to this. Bottom line continue working on what we should do anyway.. build up our kids self esteem. AND teach them what not to do in public with police officers and what have you. There is a time and place for activism.

Oh I am not ancient, but lived in a few spots and such. I can tell when a person White, Black, or Blue is not sincere with their compliments about my features. Some people go over board or objectify me because of my hair etc; They are usually well meaning, but it does ring hollow at times.

[lotsa_love_2give]

I know of people who only want to adopt bi-racial because their skintone would be "lighter". I don't think they realize that some BR children are very dark.

Our DD has some of the darkest skin I have ever seen and the most beautiful might I add.

I read an article a while back, but my Mommy brain is fried right now, that addressed colorism in the AA community. They were talking about how some lighter skinned AA people had "colorism issues" towards the really dark skinned ones.

I wish I could remember where I read or saw that!

[arkansas parent]

Originally Posted by lotsa_love_2give

Our DD has some of the darkest skin I have ever seen and the most beautiful might I add.

You are right about being beautiful. The first time I seen her I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She is BEAUTIFUL!!!!!

[Sleeplvr]

Originally Posted by lotsa_love_2give

I read an article a while back, but my Mommy brain is fried right now, that addressed colorism in the AA community. They were talking about how some lighter skinned AA people had "colorism issues" towards the really dark skinned ones.

I wish I could remember where I read or saw that!

Colorism rolls both ways... In 2009 men are not really effected as much but it can be difficult for girls and women depending on the community they live in. In my age group back in the day... light skin and long hair was the preferred look. I did have some problems from darker skinned girls or women if they did not grow up in an accepting environment. One of my friends told me in college that I would always get a better boyfriend or job because of my appearance. She said there was still a house slave vs field slave mentality among blacks and whites.

[millie58]

Sleeplvr, I was told the same thing and it's so not true!!!