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#1
03-26-2009, 09:01 PM
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People talking
Why do people always want to talk to me about other races? The other day hubby and I were talking to a lady I just met in my community who is from Greece. I just had to mention how much we loved Greece when we went there a few years ago and that we named our daughter Athena. She leaned towards us and said conspiritorily: "My son's friend was dating a girl in NY named Athena, and she was black!!" As if it was some scandalous thing. We just smiled and said REALLY!! (our daughter happens to be black.)
I've had this happen before with other people too who just have to get with me and talk about some OTHER group as if I'm in on their idea - sort of an "us and them" kind of attitude. I just laugh to myself and think.. if you give some people enough rope they WILL hang themselves. 
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Adoption Information
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#2
03-27-2009, 06:23 AM
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Did she whisper when she said Black too? lol As a Black person who worked with the public over the phone, I had some amusing conversations regarding those people or the Blacks, with White clients who thought I was White. lol
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#3
03-27-2009, 06:45 AM
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i honestly think people are just trying to have a connection with you, and show that they are also open to a multi-cultural "lifestyle." lol. i don't know how to say it better...but like a "oh...you adopted a latino child...i know some latinos too." lol. i think it is silly...but i think it could be much much worse. and as the mother of minority children, you'd think i'd know better, and i've still said things just as dumb. lol.
 we're just human.
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#4
03-27-2009, 07:48 AM
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Oh yea totally harmless, but not.
Oceanica I like your intuitiveness, and honesty. You are pretty good at seeing what is there. As long as you have a good sense of humor, you will be fine. Last edited by nickchris : 03-27-2009 at 07:52 AM.
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#5
03-27-2009, 07:54 AM
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Was you daughter with you? I think that would make a difference...in a small way.
__________________
 "Sometimes on the way to a dream, you get lost and find a better one!"
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#6
03-27-2009, 10:31 AM
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Oceana,
Off topic - somewhat...adult adoptee's get this same stereo type questions and are told that the person know's so and so and they were so and so... Kind regards, Dickons Last edited by Dickons : 03-27-2009 at 10:34 AM.
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#7
03-27-2009, 11:46 AM
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Quote:
Along these lines- I think people need to let you know that they "get it" - even if they don't. Nothing to do with adoption but a guy that I used to work with & be good friends with was homosexual. At one a girl I was friends with met him & said "well I know a gay guy- his name's Scott XXX"- & looked at him like he was supposed to know him!! I'm just thinking- what-- do you think there's a registry for homosexual men in our area!! I think it goes back to people feeling like they have to say something in these situations. I don't really understand it. Oceanica- was DD with you? I've had people that don't know I have an AA daughter make comments about race. Once they find out about DD they get really red faced!! I had someone - right before DD was born & we decided to adopt an AA child- make a comment about "why do black people back up to park in a parking spot"-- something along those lines meaning that they do it to drive away quickly if a police office comes... something REALLY rude & offensive. I was a bit irritated & said (in a very excited manner)- Oh- I forgot to fill you in on the latest for our adoption... we're almost on the list & we decided to be open to race & adopt an AA child!!" he was SOOOO embarassed & turned really red. I haven't had to deal with comments since she's been born thankfully. BTW- I LOVE your daughter's name. So funny that you posted this because I remember reading one of your posts before & thinking what a pretty name it was & wondering about it.
__________________
02/08: decided to adopt- researching which avenue to pursue!! 4/08: application submitted with agency  6/25/08 - officially waiting 6/28/08 - Matched!! 6/28/08 - it's a girl!! She's born!!  6/29/08- We meet the most beautiful baby girl in the world & the amazing mother that gave birth to her!! 7/9 - ICPC has cleared - we can go home!! 2/17/09- Finalized!!! After dealing with infertility, IVF & a miscarriage I finally realize what God had in store for us! What a joyful time to be alive!
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#8
03-27-2009, 02:20 PM
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LOL, I find that funny! Sorry, I know some think it's a bit off. I think that some of these are also jokes SOME black people say amongst themselves for a laugh, but you have to be "in" , as it were, so as not to offend someone. I need to tell this one to my sister...
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Doc & Doting Dad
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#9
03-27-2009, 03:18 PM
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I think some people feel safe saying racist thing to other people of their race. It never occurs to them that you may have many races in your family through blood, marriage and adoption and will be offended by their racist comment. Some people look at you (oceanica) or myself and assume because we are white that we feel the same way about other races as they do. I hope someday we all can move past race and look at people for who they are as individuals.
__________________
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#10
03-27-2009, 04:34 PM
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Steph, thanks! We love the name.
She wasn't with us at the time... Athena and Kee were napping in the house and we stepped out into the yard for a minute to look at the flowers the hubbby planted and she was walking by.
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#11
03-27-2009, 05:05 PM
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i hate it when people say stupid things and assume i will agree with the garbage they spit out. i'm sorry, oceanica, and btw, i also think Athena is a gorgeous name....it fits her!
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#12
03-28-2009, 02:14 PM
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It is kind of funny though. I would have said, "Really? What a coincidence, my daughter is black too!" & she could have taken it however she wanted.
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#13
04-08-2009, 12:29 PM
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Quote:
I have to admit that made me laugh also; I remember a black man I knew told me that his father always told him to live near a Greyhound bus station in case he had to leave town in a hurry. I never associated that with race per se, but I can see that as a sardonic commentary.
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