[PersianMama]

Here's a short version of where we stand with our intended domestic adoption of an AA newborn: We applied to a nonprofit agency's minority program in June. We had an interview with the program's director (who is also the social worker and the only person in the entire department) in July. She was very nice and friendly and seemed great to work with. She said that she only has one family on the waiting list willing to take a minority baby. That would lead me to believe that she'd want to get us through our homestudy quickly so that we could begin waiting, but that doesn't seem to be the case.

We had an appointment for our first home visit set for two weeks ago (over two months since we applied). The week before that, New Orleans was evacuated for Hurricane Gustav, which lead to lots of extra work for the social worker (helping biomoms evacuate, etc). We had to reschedule our visit for this week. After spending the weekend getting everything ready, she stood us up! No call or anything! That night, she emailed me that she'd written the wrong thing down in her book. She did seem very sincere in her apology and embarrassment. We are now scheduled for next week. The thing is that we have to do this a total of three times before she can write our homestudy report and put us on the waiting list. At this rate, it will take forever!

In your opinion, do you think we should stick with this agency? The other local ones charge too much. There is a service nearby run by three social workers who do homestudies and occasionally refer biomoms to waiting families. We could use them and hire a private attorney. I am frustrated and wondering what other people's experiences have been...

[Linny]

This is a tough one! I understand your frustration with the cw'er and the agency. However, being that there fees are reasonable (as you state).......some of this is typical agency stuff.
I believe I'd wait until the first meeting. Then, at that meeting, I'd express how concerned you were with the 'hold-ups'.....and see what the cw'er says from there. THAT conversation would tell me a lot.
Just because they only have one couple wanting AA babies, doesn't always mean you'll have a short wait. If they don't deal with very many emom's to begin with, how many they have waiting won't necessarily matter.
Good luck!

Sincerely,

Linny

[PersianMama]

Thanks for responding We have already met with the social worker once. That was two months ago. At the time, she said that the entire home study should take two to three months. They do quite a lot of adoptions a year. She said that when they don't have a lot of waiting couples for AA babies, they pull profiles from an agency in the northern part of the state. When we met with the social worker, and when we spoke afterwards, she said that we were a great fit. She had already told us that they are always looking for families willing to adopt AA newborns.

All of that leads to us feeling confused and frustrated. I emailed a social worker who has a local office and only conducts home studies. I am going to see what she has to say about time periods. I think that if we used her, we could still adopt through our original agency. I hope to hear from her before we see our social worker because we have to pay the first half of our home study fee when she comes over.