[becky]

I had thought we would go with Ethiopia...but then started discussing domestic AA adoption with my hubby. Checked a few agencies and was basically told that many AA birthmothers will not allow their children to be placed with caucasian families. In fact one agency I spoke with today said they had two infants in foster care right now because the birthmothers refused to let them be adopted by anyone but AA families and the agency didn't have any AA families for these babies!

I have to say this has somewhat made me reconsider even the thought of domestic AA adoption.

Am I just having bad luck with the agencies I have contacted? Is this the norm?

Any agency suggestions where this wouldn't be an issue?

[Linny]

I'm sure those birthmothers exist...just like other specifics on reasons birthmothers do/don't place a child with a particular type of family.

Our last three babies are all AA and their birthmothers were AA. They chose to place with a CC family. Dh and I are 'seemingly CC' (I always say this, because no one is one type of race or the other. We're all Heinz 57's.)

I think your agency isn't very enlightened; and I beg to differ with their thinking. We're living proof.

Sincerely,

Linny

[JPDakota]

Hi Becky!
I am CC and my DH is Asian. We were picked by an AA expectant mother. Our little angel is growing up. She even zippers her own coat. (heavy sigh)
Anyway, matches do happen domestically. You may already know this, but there are some things to get your arms around about adopting outside of your race. Some agencies require classes, which isn't a bad idea.
Bottom line, it happens, and I thank God every day. Linny and I are proof.

[inhiswill]

I would really research a lot of agencies. I think this is an important step to finding the right fit for you and DH. Our agency is in desperate need of families in the domestic AA/biracial program. They stress that birth parents each have varying choices and that your family may be just what the birth parents are looking for. In other words, every situation is unique and you never know how or what the deciding factors are with a birthparent.

What state are you in? If you would like info on our agency PM me?

Good Luck!

[aclee]

She was asked by the agency if she was willing to view CC profiles, and she says her response was...if they are open to a child that is black, I'm open to any family that will love my baby. She says she picked us (amoung other reasons) because we have dogs, she didn't care at all about race.

[rredhead]

I like what aclee said. Everyday, AA expectant mothers choose non-AA parents for their children. Our son's birthmom is "mixed with black" as she calls it and his birthfather is "all black." She chose us because we had pets, lived in a diverse neighborhood, and had the room set up with toys in it.
It just goes to show that you never can tell what will connect you with your child.

[DebCsMom]

I think you do need to keep researching. We have 3 adopted children, 2 are AA & 1 is Biracial. Our AA DD's Birthmom WANTED a CC family!!! No particular reason, just wanted an AA family. They chose us after seeing our profile & one particular picture in it. It was a family picture we had on the cover. BMom said it was the way I was holding our Biracial DD. She said she could tell that it didn't matter what color she was, SHE WAS OUR DAUGHTER!

Our DS's Birthmom wanted the best family for him, regardless of Race. She had many to choose from & actually took a few weeks to decide. She choose us because it didn't matter what color he was or what his special needs may be, we wanted him regardless.

I will eamil you a Referral service that specializes in matching AA & Biracial children.

Deb

[loveajax]

Well, we were picked by a black birth dad (he was reviewing profiles with DD's birth mom, who is white).

I think really you are at the wrong agencies!! Good luck to you!

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by becky

Checked a few agencies and was basically told that many AA birthmothers will not allow their children to be placed with caucasian families.

I'm a single caucasian Mom with two african american daughters. In both cases, 'race' wasn't the deciding factor in placement. They wanted certain things for their daughters and I was a good match.

[Celesyee]

This may be a bit different, but I thought we wouldn't get picked by any birthmom that is not part or full Asian because DH and I are both Asian. I thought too many ppl have stereotypes of Asians and will assume DH and I are "immigrants" or "foreigners" despite the fact that we're both 3rd generation American born. In one week we were picked by an AA birthmom and strongly being considered by another AA birthmom.

[MB80sgirl]

Can anyone who knows of agencies with a short wait time for AA babies PM me?

[joskimo]

our daughter is AA and her bmom picked dh and I. I'm CC, he's NA and we have a biodaughter. I don't think there's any "always" or "never" with bmoms. They are armed with their hopes and dreams for their little one and going to make the best decision based on their priorities.

[nickchris]

I am AA, and I have to say there are reasons why some AA first parents are hesitant in placing their babe with another race. In most cases they want to know that their child will be raised by parents who are aware of the challenges of raising a Black child in our society. In addition, the agency may be respectful of the first parent wishes. Neither the agency, nor anyone else has a right to sway the parent's plan for their child. However, as with any other race, the thought varies, so best wishes.

eta:
I would also like to point out that while in the process myself, I noted that there were many cc or aa/cc babies first moms, where a full AA couple was not even a priority on their must have adoptive couple wants.

[pbusickia]

Hi Becky, AA moms definitely pick couples of any race if what is important to them is a good home for their baby. If you would like to know the agency we went through you can PM me anytime. We adopted our beautiful AA DD and she just turned a year old. Good luck!

[quiescentfury]

We are CC and adopted our AA exactly 4 months from the day we called for info, I do have to say that I have a bio biracial son, so that could have swayed some people. In 4 months we met with three potential birthmothers before our sons and were the top choice for all, but they decided to parent. I really think there are many potential birthmothers that will consider placing babies transracially. Look around more. I know of an agency in Ohio, but if they work with out of state they don't want you to be with other agencies because they have had pbmoms select them and to find out they were matched with other agencies. PM me if you want to know more.