[sunsetsky]

Nickchris - I think being in the environment leads people to be able to survive. If the child is taken out of an environment where there may be that light complexed woman or the woman with the big J-5 fro it can be tragic. I remember adults (strangers) encouraging me to keep my head up. What would happen if that if not available to them when the cry because their hair won't grow or their nose is too big. The physical characteristics are for the parents comfort level. It isn't going to help the child while they are young. I think these child need AA role models neighbors, teachers, lunch ladies etc. It can be lonely for that child. The children left me with bruises not wounds because of my environment. I think...

[nickchris]

True it can be a matter of survival, but support really really helps. As Dh says it can make you or break you, the ones who make it are true survivors. I just know I was glad to be medium tone.. lol a portion of my childhood was in the city where the children were well, expressing what they learned: names such as xyz yellow, or black as xyz, but being surrounded by a lot of folks who looked like me was also a good balance. I had a step grandfather who made me feel like the best thing since sliced bread, parents and grandmother who doted on me. That balanced out the name calling. My mother is very light too, so I saw some of that merow!! .. it is a crabs in a barrel situation.
I think that is why I speak a lot about our awareness as parents.
Wait what is J-5 fro :-)

[sunsetsky]

Nickchris -I think these CC parents need a real-life AA friend like you. I loved my J5 afro and I get tickled pink when I see the teenagers with their big J5s lol All they need the fist pick... I am dating myself lol

[nickchris]

I think I may be too scary lol but I am soft inside. Seriously I have/am learning a lot about reading on these vaired sites. Dh had a huge fro way into the 80's ...gag..

[sunsetsky]

Scary can be good... They can be scared then realize you are a marshmellow with a good brain (education) and wisdom (experience). A woman other day (India) told that she was afraid of black people especially males. My first reaction was to roll my eyes and say are you kidding me? I think Indians are way more scary but I held back.(check the news) I asked her why ... she thought we would rob her. We live in a very nice luxury apartment ... we are neighbors. Why do we need to rob her. I thought this is good because our children are playing trains together and may become friends. I swallowed my pride and was nice and answered her questions about why black people look so young etc. I thought I am not scary but you never know what people are thinking. Scary is Good! Violence is Bad!

[nickchris]

Sad that such perceptions about AAs have spread all over, even places like Africa, and from my own Island folks too. I teach my kids that all humans are capable of being good, and bad.. not just one race.