[ekchild]

hi, we are just starting the adoption process. we are going to be attending our first pre-placement adoption seminar on june 2nd, we are so excited. however, through the county the are more of minority children than that of cauc. race, my husband and i from the beginning have been really open to this but some family are not that good with the idea.
has anyone experienced this and if so how do you handle it?
my father when i was growing up did not want me to date out of race but when we told him that we are going to adopt and the child may be of a different race he was really supportive, he knows how much we want children becuase of everything we have went through. I just wonder why cant everyone think like that and just support us in whatever we chose to do

sorry for going on and on
thanks for listening
erin

[joskids]

I'd like to tell you that everyone is open to trasnracial adoption but, sadly, we haven't gotten to that point yet in this country. Remember that this is about you and your husband, the family YOU want to create through adoption. It sounds like your family will, at least, learn to accept that your child may be of a different race and as long as negative comments are not made or negative actions that would impact your child, you should be able to do this. Because my husband is AA and I am CC, the racial issues were not a consideration for our family that already has accepted that I am CC and he is AA. Both of our families are fine with that. For you, it may take a bit longer but, believe me, when you hold that child in your arms, color will be the least of your emotions and your family will probably follow suit. You should get some good feedback from others on this forum who have adopted outside of their race. Those friends and family that do not agree with you, will separate themselves from you and you from them. And that, FOR YOU, will be a good thing, trust me.

[Linny]

Josie is absolutely correct. I'd like to add too, that you will need to be prepared to exclude any family or friends that don't accept you and your baby as one unit. Frankly, we've found that any who didn't (and there have been very few), were folks we realized we didn't need in the first place.

There are other posts about this same thing on the transracial adoption board and I'd encourage you to read up on those threads and opinions as well.

My best to you as you proceed in your adoption quest.

Sincerely,

Linny

[rredhead]

There is a Yahoo group called Transracial Adoption and Placement. I've found them to be a terrific resource.
Transracial_Adoption_or_Placement : Transracial Adoption or Placement

Good luck on your adoption journey!

[traceyk]

I agree with everyone else. If someone didn't accept or agree with it, than I wouldn't need them in my life. Luckily we did not run into that at all.

[jaenelle]

Basically the only person who didn't accept us adopting an AA baby, is out of our life. My aunt and I were never close anyway, so really it was not too big a deal to cut off contact. I was TERRIBLY hurt by her reaction to our adoption, though -- I won't deny that. She is close to my mom, and they still talk. I won't deny my mom that relationship, but I won't have my child around someone who doesn't accept her. Everyone else has been great.

[bellazmama]

Sometimes, you go ahead and adopt transracially, and sure enough, your child suddenly becomes the perfect little spokesperson for transracial adoption among hesitant family and friends. That being said, we still had a LOT of trouble from a couple of family members and just choose not to spend time with them anymore. If they can't accept your decision, the problem is theirs, not yours. You can only affect things inside yourself, not those other people who are causing you grief.