[mig42]

We've just signed up with an agency in Jersey and have just received some preliminary paperwork to work away on.

Both myself and my husband are CA and we have a 16 month old biological daughter already. We
hope to adopt a newborn full AA or mixed race baby boy.

One of the questions on the autobiography guide though we're a bit confused by and was wondering
if anyone here can shed some light on it.

The questions are:
Child Preferred
What type of child would you prefer? What types of things would you find unacceptable(consider medical, genetic concerns, physical, psychological characteristics, family history etc? Special concerns, issues etc?)

Now, since we have already signed up for the AA or mixed minority pool I know this is the answer to the first question(What typt of child). However on the remaining questions we're slightly unsure what exactly they mean. Let me just say that we would like a healthy newborn, but could someone possibly give us more of an in debt guideline as to what they could mean by (1)medical, (2)genetic, (3)physical, (4)psychological characteristics that would be acceptable/unacceptable and also (5)family history?

Thanks.

[kimmom]

You just need to specify that you will only consider a healthy infant that has not been exposed to drugs or alcohol in the womb and has no mental or physical defects whatsoever, if that is what you want. There are so many children born in so many situations that they want to know what you will accept. Is it okay for your baby to have a physical defect if it is due to a genetic flaw? Will you accept some drug exposure? Is it okay for your baby to have down syndrome or anything that may affect his mental abilities? If there is a family history of of any kind of disorder from depression to heart attacks is that alright with you. You and your husband need to decide what you want and can handle as far as any "defects" in each catergory specified and be very specific. Hope this helps and good luck!

[shortlittlemama]

Our agency actually had a planning questionaire that was helpful. It had almost everything under the sun listed with yes/no boxes to check. They asked about all sorts of things we never really even thought about beforehand. Perhaps you could ask your agency if they might have something more specific like that you could at least look at?

[mig42]

Kimmon,
Appreciate the info, we have a much better insight now.

Shortlittlemama,
Thanks for the tip, we'll ask them at our 1st educational meeting on Tuesday.

[teendoc]

I don't know if the "what kind of child" question applies to race. That was one of the questions in our AFTH autobiography and I didn't know what to answer. I wanted to write "tutti-frutti." I think I just said healthy. But I really thought it was a very odd question.

[Shadowfaerie]

Our agency gave us a full list of medical conditions, psychological disorders and exposure to drugs to look at and check if we were open to them. They also explained what some of those conditions are. If they hadn't I don't think my dh or I would've had any idea about some of the medical conditions on that list.

I'm kind of surprised they asked a question like that, I mean, how are you supposed to have any idea all the types of medical conditions (or whatever) of babies they might be placing?

Dawn

[traceyk]

We too had a checklist. And in the end we accepted a baby that was exposed to crack even though we were only going to accept marijuana and smoking and I am glad we did because she is the light of our family. The more you are open to the shorter your wait will be.

[salisburymom07]

We discussed it in our homestudy. Ofcourse,we love our daughter so much I am not so sure how much it really matters anyway. She was exposed to marijuana that we know of but has been progressing wonderfully.