[anivan]

We are registered with an agency in FL. PM me if you want to know which one...We have been waiting for nearly 6 months for an AA/Bi-racial baby & I never thought we would wait this long. We are a white, middle class couple living in the midwest. I keep hearing about the desperate need for people to adopt AA/Bi-racial babies but we have been waiting for what seems a really long time. Am I being impatient?

Thanks,
Ann

[jaenelle]

How many placements a year does your agency do?

Have you signed up with any other agencies or referral services?

Are you open to either gender?

Are you open to full AA rather than just biracial?

Without more information, we probably can't tell you if your wait is too long.

[anivan]

Originally Posted by jaenelle

How many placements a year does your agency do?

Have you signed up with any other agencies or referral services?

Are you open to either gender?

Are you open to full AA rather than just biracial?

Without more information, we probably can't tell you if your wait is too long.

According to the agency's information, they did 77 placements last year

This is the only agency we are registered with.

We are open to either gender and were pretty open as far as drug use/alcohol/cigarettes

We started out just wanting biracial, but have since made the change to include full AA.

I have contacted our adoption coordinator and she said she thought maybe we didn't include address "diversity" enough in our book. I live in South Dakota and there isn't a lot of diversity to speak of. I do have 5 bi-racial children in my family and I am trying to figure out how to incorporate them and address the diversity without being obvious or pandering.

Input anyone?

[rredhead]

You may want to look into other referral services or agencies. Our agency was awful so I can't recommend them. I belong to an online support group, Yahoo Transracial Adoption and Placement. The group is for support and questions, but, maybe once a month (at most) the members post situations that they know of through the agencies they've worked with.
I had a very informative scrapbook. I included pictures of most of my family members, and made sure there was one good picture of my husband's interracial family. We also included photos of us with our closer friends, and yes, we did include about 3 of our AA friends with us. We included a photo of the kids playing basketball on our street. The kids are all different races/colors. DS's bmom said she liked that picture, because she could imagine where DS would grow up.
I put the scrapbook online at our web site:
Robyn and Max Adoption Info

I hope some of these ideas help. FWIW, we signed in May, matched in October, and DS was born in January. It feels like forever! But there are some people who wait awhile and then, BAM! They're called about a baby being born in 2 weeks... or 2 hours. It's been known to happen. No matter what, you will get your baby home!

Good luck & God bless,
-R

[anivan]

Thanks very much for your response! I checked out your website and your little boy is absolutely precious. You are blessed! Thanks also for the suggestions. I'm trying to be patient, but I have been waiting to be a mommy for almost 7 years now. I'm ready!

Thanks,
Ann

[noelani2]

I am sure that you are really excited, so that makes it seem much longer! I don't know anything about your agency but, in general, they just can't predict. They can go a whole year without a single black or biracial baby they need to place and then have several come all at once. What it really comes down to, in my experience, is that when the child who is really destined to be your comes along, you will get him/her. However, it is much easier to take comfort in that when you all ready have one or more children at home, than when you have empty arms aching to be filled! I speak from experience! It took us nearly nine years to find our first baby (long time ago, when alot of things were different than now). However, we ended up with six kids, two of whom came only a year and a half after the one before them.

By the way, I have a mixed race group. With our first two sons, born in 1983 and 1986, no one would even consider placing a non-white child with us. We adopted our third son while we were in Germany. His birth parents were two American teens, one white, one black, whose fathers were career military, and he also had serious health issues. We came back to the states to Las Vegas to find agencies still not wanting to place transracially and the daughter we adopted there is white and was special needs because of medical problems. After that, though, there were lots of opportunities! Our fourth son is "full" AA and our second daughter and sixth child is Haitian and Filipino. It still amazes me that two such healthy, gorgeous newborns were considered "special needs" just because they weren't white!

Hang in there! It will happen!

Noelani

[joskimo]

we went w/ a faciliator who specialised in placing AA and BiR babies. We were matched in 7 weeks. She works with several agencies and no money crossed hands with her until the babe was in our arms and no money crossed hands wiwth an agency until we were matched, I really liked that aspect.

[SadMomma]

redhead I just have to say your son is so adorable. I have my sister and aunt looking at your web page. We all are like ohh and ahh!!

[Linny]

We have adopted many times. I would strongly suggest that you also send your profile to other agencies and attorneys/agencies as well. We just brought home another AA baby this month.

If you would like, I'd be happy to pm to you my own list of agencies/attorneys I have dealt with, or spoken to, that often want/need families who want AA or bi-racial babies. Anymore, there are many more families who will adopt multi-racial babies, rather than full AA babies (sad, indeed)........but many agencies need families who want to adopt AA babies.

Unfortunately, while fees continue to raise, there are still situations that are not as expensive and sometimes 'stork babies' who are already born. (Such was the case with some of our babies.)

I wish you well, and hope that your wait will end soon.

Sincerely,

Linny

[anivan]

Linny,

Thanks for your response. I'd love your list if you would be willing to PM me. I would love a "born baby" situation. We are ready to run at a moment's notice. I just need that call. I'd love to get on some more lists, but huge application fees make that tough. sigh...

Thanks very much!
~Ann

[rredhead]

Thanks for your comments about Jack. We love him so much, and of course we think he's the cutest baby ever.
There are a couple of other threads in the Domestic Adoption forum about agencies without upfront fees. You may want to check those out.
I know I felt so empty when we were waiting, and we only waited 2-1/2 years from when we wanted to start a family.
Linny, I'd love to have a PM from you. We're not going to adopt #2 until Jack is in pre-school, but I know that the research and waiting add to the lead time.
What helped me the most with the waiting was knowing that, in the end, we would have our baby. Try to think positive!
Happy New Year!

[tajmu311]

Ann,

I feel your pain - my dh and I have been waiting since May 2006 and I don't know how much longer I can take it! We too are open to any race/ethnicity/gender and I just don't understand why we don't have a baby yet. I have heard so many times that the baby who is destined for us will come in time, and while I agree with that, it doesn't make the waiting any easier.

I too, am interested in hearing any ideas that anyone has about networking, referral services, etc. I am so scared of being scammed that we haven't signed with anyone else or explored any other options beyone our agency.

~Ashley

[bromanchik]

Originally Posted by anivan

I have contacted our adoption coordinator and she said she thought maybe we didn't include address "diversity" enough in our book. I live in South Dakota and there isn't a lot of diversity to speak of.

I hate to say it but your location may be the problem. If I were a birthmother of color I would be highly unlikely to place my child in a place where he/she would likely be only one of a handful of people of color. For you, race may not be an issue. But the world is not "color-blind", and others may make race an issue. I've talked to many transracial adoptees that have had real difficulties growing up in predominately white communities, especially as teens when the issues of identity formation and dating become issues.

[anivan]

I think so too. There is a lot more diversity than people think, but not as much as there should be. I don't know how to resolve that issue.

[bromanchik]

Originally Posted by anivan

I think so too. There is a lot more diversity than people think, but not as much as there should be. I don't know how to resolve that issue.

Can I ask you why you have your heart set on a bi-racial or AA child? If there is diversity in your area, maybe you could write about how you see integrating race issues into the child's upbringing.