[Forever_family]

First of all I hope I took your post wrong, misunderstood it or something. I realize you are not racist but some things really bothered me.

I don't think racism in your family is okay for any reason. It sounds like you are trying to defend your parents point of view, please correct me if I am wrong.

I would NEVER allow my AA or my CC children to hear racism from an extended family member and look at it as a way to learn how to deal with racism! I'm sorry but I am very offended by this. Family is supposed to be a "safe" place where you are loved unconditionally. Can you imagine how this may impact a child to hear their cousin, uncle, grandparent degrade them based on race? Would they really feel as if they belonged to this extended family? If my family was going to be racist to my child or if they still harbored in their heart racists views that would be it for me, NO contact. Your child has to come before them.



"My mom has said that she is much more open to other races since we adopted our kids. But when we had our dark foster daughter, it kind of felt like "in your face" when we would bring her to my parents' house. But my husband & I WANT to adopt AA, if for no other reason, then because "I" want to be the mother of AA children. If down the line they hear a racist remark from someone in my extended family, could be one of my parents, a brother, a cousin or uncle, then it will present an opportunity for me to discuss racism with the child. Racism is definitely very much alive and minority children with white parents need to learn about it, and to be proud to be who they are, and to just know that people have misconceptions about race. Especially people who do not have any friends of another race. My parents would see the news every day in Chicago, and it's all about the black people & killing, fires, drugs, etc. That's why they are racist, because of what they hear on the news; it formed their views."

[bethy724]

I have to agree with forever family-you do not teach your children (of any color) about racism by intentionally exposing them to it. You are the company you keep & if you keep the company of bigots & racists....well than...family or not strangers or neighbors racism is not OK-period. I can't imagine intentionally exposing my son to a racist to discuss it with him ...you should not use children to teach family members not to be racist-their fully cooked & their opinions are formed...let them find their own way back to humanity.
I wouldn't take my son to a crack house to discuss the dangers of drugs.

[JGarrick]

My parents would see the news every day in Chicago, and it's all about the black people & killing, fires, drugs, etc.

That's an unsurprising result in a situation where there is racial profiling happening. I worked many years ago in a retail store with a racist head of security. She was convinced that all the shoplifters were black. I don't think I changed her mind when I told her she only caught black shoplifters because she only followed black customers around the store, but at least she quit talking to me about it.