[traceyk]

Drihan definately hasn't had baby hair for awhile and when I wash it in the tub she screams and cries at the top of her lungs. I am not sure what I can do because I have to shampoo it and then condition it and she hates it. I am also afraid the shampoo and conditioner get in her eyes because she thrashes so much. Does anyone else go through this or have suggestions????

[ldurham]

Being the owner of such hair myself, there are several "ethnically" appropriate shampoos and conditioners on the market - despite what the commercials say - not all brands work for every hair type. My daughters hair is thick and wavy and for years I used a 2-in-1 that was organic and followed up daily with a moisturizer that helped with detangling. If you want to PM me I can give you specific brand names.

[maxkinzie]

Hi Tracey~
I have always washed Jess's thick,curly hair in the sink with her laying on the counter. Lord knows I've tried to figure out a way to do this in the tub, a way that we can both live with....but, it's still the sink here, with plenty of toweling to cushion the edge. I sing her favorite songs, and it's also one of the few times she gets her Nuk if she wants it. I get her hair good and wet and she sits in the sink with toys while I shampoo, then we rinse and she sits in the sink while I comb, add conditioner, and put it in a couple ponies. luckily she loves playing in water so I leave the faucet on a little for her. My attitude about it greatly affects how it goes too, if I'm in a rush, or not acting like I'm greatly enjoying it she can tell and fights me. We also totally comb it out beforehand, which makes it all easier.

I have heard therer's some kind of cap/visor type thing that will keep the shampoo out of her eyes but I've never seen them in stores, and HIGHLY doubt she'd go for that anyway!

Max

[traceyk]

She never cared until she had three ear infections in 2 months, so now she grabs her ears and screams when I lay her back to get her hair wet or rinse. Otherwise she loves to play in the bath and swim in the pool, but if she thinks I am going for the hair she sounds like I am killing her. I keep singing her favorite song regardless in hopes she will settle and she still uses a binky but she manages to scream and keep it in her mouth. I love the products I am using as I tried Carol's Daughter but after she had a severe reaction I stopped. I didn't think to check the ingredients and she has a severe soy allergy. So those aren't the problem, it's the act of doing it. I use the Pantene for colored hair.

[hotspice58]

Tight, curly hair is also easier when it's finger-combed. Brushes and combs wreak havoc on AA hair.

[ldurham]

Okay - I'm a little offended by the choice of words here. All hair is colored - unless someone has clear hair. And the notion that "brushes and combs wreak havoc on AA hair" is another one that I am having a little difficulty swollowing.

If you are worried about the products getting into your daughters eyes - I would suggest using a formula that is specifically developed for younger users - African Pride has a great product line - although not all of their products are organic.

The key to combing and brushing "AA" hair is to make sure the hair stays moisturized. After you wash the hair, it's best to use the moisturizer while the hair is still damp and apply it daily. Finger combing might work one day - but over time you will have a bigger problem, because the hair will not have been combed through from the root which can lead to matting and breakage.

I am sure that you did not mean to offend in your posts and are probably not aware that you have. I've had a head full of AA hair for 36 years and although it can be challenging at times, I am sure no more so challenging than your own. The key is using good products and once you find a product line that works for you you should stick to it - it's easier to train the hair.

As for the tantrums during hair washing time - I just wash my FS's hair while she is in the tub with the detachable shower head - she doesn't care for it either but we only wash her hair every three days (so as not to strip her hair of it's own natural essential oils).

Good Luck

[hotspice58]

Why are you offended? I'm AA and I've been to 2 curly hair salons and was told the same thing. I finger-comb my hair now.

[ldurham]

What exactly is a "curly hair salon"?

I think you would have to agree with me that your hair (I don't know if you've ever had any chemical processes done to your hair) and that of a child who has never had a chemical process are not the same. Pantene for women of color products may not be the best product to use as it is a more "adult" product intended for individuals that have color treated and/or permed hair (although it says it's great for natural styles as well - some beauticians would disagree since it is not an organic product).

Additionally, if I were you I would ask to see the license of the "professional" stylist (cosmotolgist -whatever) that told you that combs and brushes wreck havoc on African American hair. Finger combing may have been appropriate for your hair - or even hair style, but not for a child. Without combing from root to tip you are not shedding the dead hair that accumulates daily - thus the matting and breakage. It can also contribute to the child being tender-headed which will only make the washing and styling of the hair worse. Brushing the hair increases scalp stimulation and promotes growth. Once again, the key is keeping the hair moisturized.

I'm not going to argue your "AA-ness" with you. What offends one may not offend another. It makes no difference what your race is. My offense was in the choice of words (Pantene for colored hair) and the idea that people of color should not comb or brush their hair lest that want "havoc" to run rampid through their lives.

However, regardless of the offense (which was 1) individual and 2) acknowledged that it may not have been intentional) I still can empathize with the concern that TracyK has and offered a resolution which I hope she find useful.

TracyK - I apologize if this thread turned into more than you bargained for and I mean with all sincerity that I hope you do find some of my suggestions useful and that hair washing and styling do not become a source of frustration for you and your daughter.

[Linny]

Have you considered buying those earplugs that you 'mold' in your fingers before applying? They can be purchased at any drug store. And while I'm sure you'll have to be careful that they aren't taken out during the course of the hairwashing, they might be helpful in assuring that the water doesn't drip down into her ear canal, KWIM?

In terms of what works: I'm a seemingly CC momma of two (hopefully more????) babies that are now pre-schoolers. Both are AA. Both are girls. One has very thick, tightly curled hair; the other has thin, tightly curled hair (though not as curly as her sister).
I have found that it is essential to spritz their hair with water every day, towel dry, then apply the oil (Biosilk, by Farouk), then comb through with a wide toothed comb. Sure, there are days that I hit a tender spot and have to take more time in gently combing through the hair; but overall, it's fairly easy to do, since we've been doing this routine for a very long time now. We wash their hair once a week (sometimes sooner) with shampoo/conditioner, towel dry the hair and apply the oil again while the hair is still wet.

This is what works for us......

Sincerely,

Linny

[momily]

Here's what works for us. I use an organic shampoo/conditioner from Cornrows and Company (you can order it online). I get his hair really wet, and then apply a tiny bit of shampoo to the middle of my palm and rub in all over my hands. Then I run my hands through his hair, and then follow that by combing it through his hair with a very wide toothed comb. Because I'm combing it rather than massaging it in with my fingers it doesn't get tangled, and also I can control the direction I'm combing and keep it entirely away from his eyes. Then I have him lie back and I pour water over it to rinse. I use the shampoo very sparingly because his hair his hard to rinse since it's so tightly curled.

Then I basically do the same thing with the conditioner, working it through with a comb and then rinsing it out. The conditioner is thick enough that it doesn't run and get in his eyes.

I have never heard that you should finger comb AA hair -- I don't see how that would work. DS's curls are too tiny to really get my fingers into them and loosen them up. What works best for us is a pick style comb with thin, widely spaced teeth.

[Linny]

Momily: First of all...I like your user name! Secondly, thanks for the advice of combing through the shampoo and such while I'm washing the hair! Haven't tried it yet, but will this week! Sounds like a very good idea!
Sincerely,

Linny

[traceyk]

Sorry, I thought the bottle said that it was for colored hair, it says "for women of color". I guess I asked my question wrong. I am not having trouble with her hair but with her screaming like I am killing her. When she had baby hair we could use the baby shampoo and it was easy in, easy out. Now it takes longer and she screams due to having water on her head. I am trying to find a solution to the screaming and her being so upset. I don't want her to feel negative about her bath. The Pantene works great on her hair and nothing else did. I wash it and then put the conditioner in and let it sit while I comb it through. I only wash her hair once a week. In between I use a detangling spray and then apply a conditioning creme to it.

[Linny]

Tracey:
I've seen the photo of your little girl often (the one with the ladybug); but this is the first time I've seen her more 'grown up'! She is lovely and beautiful!

Sincerely,

Linny

[taramayrn]

Okay folks, I'm really suprised that I have to address a few members on this thread. Remember just like adoption, no hair is the same and no hair product works the same on every hair type. I suppose it's also best to try and keep generalizations to a minimun when discussing hair and hair care products as well.
But really, if you can't agree to disagree or realize that what works for one doesn't work for all, I'll have to ban some users from this thread, and honestly, how silly would that be?!
Thanks...

[DianeScraps]

An option to consider is the 'no poo' method (no shampoo)

My girls hair is two totally different textures, but for the 8 yr old we do conditioner, comb through with a wide tooth comb, and then rinse. Her hair has not been 'shampooed' in about 5 months, and looks great.

Plus you would be cutting out a step and a little bit of torture time.