[JuliaSherman]

We are an AA family who is in the waiting to adopt stage. We've talked to a few other families who are using the same agency that we are. We have found that in several cases where a AA baby became available, the ** has selected a CC family. I don't have a problem with the decision. My question is, is that a factor in the stats that we hear about AA families not adopting AA children? Prior to going through the adoption process, we always heard about the need for AA families to adopt. We heard that's why AA children are being placed with CC families. Now, at least where we live, it seems that there are AA families willing and wanting to adopt, but in many cases, AA ** are selecting CC families for their AA babies. Is this only happening where we live or are others seeing this as well? We live outside of Washington, DC in Maryland.

[Sunshine Mom]

Where I live in Canada there are alot of African American children being adopted by CC parents. I know I have heard that in those situations, aa parents are choosing cc Canadian parents for their kids ahead of CC american parents because of the perception that there is less racism in Canada and as such the child would have an easier life.

I have not heard of a straight across preference for cc parents ahead of aa parents though. I was under the impression that if given the option, most aa birth parents would prefer for their children to be raised in an aa home.

[sneezyone]

Julia - just a note too...the letters B and M are an undesireable abbreviation for potential birthmother which is why you see those little asterisks in your post.

DH and I are also aa and we adopted an aa/cc child last fall. If anything, as far as U.S. domestic infant placements go, we were in high demand as prospective parents and were chosen by two potential birthmothers within the first week our profile was available! I've not heard of the situation you described either. DD's bmom expressed surprise that when she finally looked for potential parents, there were aa couples available - perhaps b/c stranger adoption is not as common or openly discussed in the aa community?

[jstunme]

http://www.wthr.com/Global/category.asp?C=72574

[Linny]

My dh and I are 'seemingly CC'......and we've adopted several children (Asian, CC, and AA). The Asian and AA children have been babies when they've arrived.
I honestly think that it still depends on the choices and reasonings of the birthparents. I don't think that color--one way or another---plays into it in many cases.
I think it does depend on the area too, and frankly, just what the birthparents are wanting.
Who knows? I know I've listened to a couple who were upset that the birthmother decided to go with a gay couple, rather than them (heterosexual); yet, that's what the birthmother wanted. Period. I've also been told by agencies that some birthparents will choose a couple based on the 'type of dog the family had in their photo book'....or 'that the house in the photo book looked appealing'. Those aren't the reasons I'd be choosing a particular family; but the choice is up to them, KWIM?

So, while it may seem that there are more placements with CC couples in some ways; I really think it just depends on the wishes of the birthparents.
I'll add this though......when it's time for your baby to come to you; it will. More than once I thought we'd not ever be chosen; but just when our hopes were down the most------our baby came along. I hope your wait is short and your baby finds you soon.

Most Sincerely,

Linny

[Lexie]

It seems to be a growing trend at least in my observation. More bi-racial children have CC mother's and some of them ( athough not all) may prefer or at least feel more comfortable with someone that looks like them in terms of bonding with prospective aparents. I think they may be more drawn to some CC families, all things being equal ( which they never are of course, there are aways many factors). But my non-scientific observation seems to be the same as yours, that it is increasing and that AA families are no longer as preferred as they used to be to parent AA or biracial babies. That said, if your are discouraged, don't be, there are still many pbmom's that want Aa families. We were matched quite quickly with our little boy.
Good luck--
Lexie

[meimaemomma]

Agencies we spoke with (we're cc) said that there is not so much a need for cc parents looking to adopt aa or biracial children, but that aa parents or interracial couples are very much in demand. It may depend on your area adn whether you can consider interstate adoption. Good luck on your journey - I have no doubt that you are just what the right first family is looking for.

[Nevada Jen]

You raise a good question. I do think Lexie might be right that BR kids tend to have a CC mom and an AA dad and that a CC mom of a BR baby may choose someone like herself or her parents as adoptive parents. I have read that there is a trend of pbmoms requesting higher amount of monetary support. SO what you are seeing may be a matter of economics more than race. Or it is very possible that there were no waiting AA families at the time the pbmom matched.

Interesting issue. How long have you been offially waiting?

Jen

[Casey677]

We are CC with an AA/CC dd. Her bmom is CC. We were chosen for another AA/CC baby last year that ultimately fell through. His mom is also CC. Lexie, you may be on to something here. Especially since pbmoms mainly talk to the pamom.

I do know that AA and interacial couples are in pretty high demand at my facilitator. It took us 13 months to adopt - 10 wasted months with an agency and then 3 months with our facilitator.

I wish you lots of luck on your journey... hopefully you will have your munchkin soon!!!

Casey

[Sleeplvr]

I think it's more of a regional issue in your case. I live in Georgia and they are desperate for AA and interracial families. Even though there are some CC families willing to adopt AA and BR infants there still is a preference for AA families to adopt these children. If there isn’tan AA family available then they will look for a CC family. My agency is a little old fashioned and tends to play matchmaker. They will steer bparents to particular families. They are pretty good at it and everyone seems to be very happy with their match.
What is your agency’s attitude about matching? Do they hand the pbparents a stack of profiles to look at or do they formally present certain families? Some agencies will show the family that has been waiting the longest first. The families that tend to wait the longest are typically CC.

I remember you searching for an agency earlier this year. Which agency did you decide to use?

[JuliaSherman]

Originally Posted by Sleeplvr

I think it's more of a regional issue in your case. I live in Georgia and they are desperate for AA and interracial families. Even though there are some CC families willing to adopt AA and BR infants there still is a preference for AA families to adopt these children. If there isn’tan AA family available then they will look for a CC family. My agency is a little old fashioned and tends to play matchmaker. They will steer bparents to particular families. They are pretty good at it and everyone seems to be very happy with their match.
What is your agency’s attitude about matching? Do they hand the pbparents a stack of profiles to look at or do they formally present certain families? Some agencies will show the family that has been waiting the longest first. The families that tend to wait the longest are typically CC.

I remember you searching for an agency earlier this year. Which agency did you decide to use?

We are using Adoptions Together based in Silver Spring, MD, and they formally present albums to the pbparents based on criteria that the pbparents select.

[katieb31323]

I can only speak from my own personal experience.

We lived in the SW when we were placed with our cc/aa DD. Her Bmom said she choose us because she wanted a 2 parent family with an involved Dad.

We lived in the Midwest when we were placed with our AA DD. Her Bmom said she choose us because she liked the pictures in our profile that showed us working together and playing together. She wanted a 2 parent family that did all of those things together....she felt the pictures showed that we valued hard work and and fun. (I think she was very intuitive gathering all of that from pictures)

So, I don't know that our placements (I'm CC) had much to do with location. Or statistics. I know we were open to children in terms of race. So we were put in "that pile" I'm sure. But I don't believe we were choosen based on our skin color. And like I said when I started this post....this is just MY PERSONAL experience

Kathy

[heidirose99]

Hi Julia!


I actually sent you a PM after reading another post of yours.

The agency we adopted from is desperately in need of more AA families for AA children. Our caseworker told us that most birthparents prefer AA families but are willing to consider CC families if there aren't any.

Maybe it is different from state to state or area to area. They work with birthmoms in Texas.

[Lulu Bug]

I think that w/ the factor of a bmom choosing the family, it can go beyond the agency's control. I do know that I often see listings for waiting children and there is a stipulation that says "bmom will only consider a family where at least one parent is AA".

I can tell you that the experience we had w/ our AA son's bmom was that she specifially wanted to choose from white families. Please note that the following are things that SHE told us she wanted when we asked her if she was comfortable placing him in a CC family. She told us at the beginning that it was because she felt that a white family would have more money, would give him a better chance at going to college and he would have less of a chance of getting into trouble or going to jail. Again, these were HER reasons. They sounded like a huge bundle of sterotypes to me, but we didn't really push her on it too much. After all, anyone that is willing to go thorugh the adoption process must have a certian amount of income and the ability to follow through (just the paperwork is worth a college degree)--no matter what color they are.

After the placement, she told us that she wanted him in a white family so that he would need her more (it is an open adoption). She felt that if she placed him w/ a CC mom and dad, there would be less competition. Again, I don't think that is necessarily the case. I felt that the bmom is the one that came into the relationship w/ some preconcieved ideas about what she felt a "white" family was. She grew up in South Chicago and by her own admission didn't have much contact with many CC familes. I think she decided that she didn't want the child to be raised the way she was, and while this is a class issue as well as race issue, the bundled it all into a race issue.

I guess what I am trying to say is that there are as many reasons why women choose to place as there are babies.

I hope that you find your child soon. :-)

[tammiep1]

My Husband and I have are CC and have adopted 2 AA children. Our daughter was placed with us at 3 months. Her birthmother intially wanted an AA or mixed race couple but they were unable to locate a family that meet her criteria. After 3 months of foster care, they asked the birthmother if she was still willing to consider us and she agreed.
We were able to meet with our sons birthmother and she had specicically requested a CC family. She was happy to see that we had already adopted an AA child. She explained her reasoning for selecting a CC family. She stated that in her experinece she found AA families do not look favorably on adoption and she was concerned that an AA family would look down on her for not being able to raise her own child. Although I was not sure that I agreed with her, we were overjoyed with being given the privilege to adopt our son. I am not sure if this helps but just a little FYI.