[mckenna]

i have been noticing that many adoptive families are wanting to adopt biracial children (aa/ca) but not full aa children. can anyone tell me why this would be the case?

[Linny]

As the momma to two Asian babies (now grown), and now an AA baby, all I can tell you----as far as I'm concerned-----is it comes down to 'skin tone'.

I find this incredible.........that agencies charge more for bi-racial (as if ANY person had only two races) babies, than 'full' (and what IS 'full'????) AA babies. And this nation is to have come so far.......sigh........

I know that one agency we have 'signed on' with, insists that if a couple is wanting a non-caucasian baby....they must be willing to accept a 'full' race (non-caucasian) baby. In other words, they aren't going to 'split hairs' like I see SO many agencies and facilitators state: Example:

1/4 CC, 1/4 Korean and 1/2 AA, available.......


Now I ask you...........how does ANYONE on this planet know what percentage ANY of us are of anything???????

( Don't ask me what I think of couples who insist on this type of break down. ) Yet, I've read of couples who have 'backed out' on placements because the baby was 'too dark'....so maybe that's why they feel compelled to list possible lineage?

At any rate, like I said,......it all comes down to skin tone.....and how a couple feels about it.


Sincerely,

Linny

[mckenna]

thanks, i just find it so odd that you would not be willing to adopt a full aa baby but you would be able to adopt a bi-raicial (aa/ca) child. how could you ever predict what the child's skin tone would be. my friend is a foster parent like my self and currently has a full aa foster child in her home that is lighter skined than my biracial (aa/ca) son. i hope there comes a day when "how dark or light" your skin is will not matter. i think the issue i have with people who are willing to adopt bi racial children and not aa children is that if you feel you may not be able to parent a child of a different race, then by all means don't! and i don't feel that is a bad decision on the families part, why make a lifetime commitment you are not sure you can handle. i don't think at this point in my life i could be a good parent to a child with severe medical or emotional needs, so i don't choose to have children with these need placed in my home, i don't think that makes me a bad person, i just know my capabilites at this point in my life. but why would one think they could parent a child if only part of their heritage was a different race when they could parent a child if all of their heritage was a different race?

[mckenna]

i am not saying it is wrong for people to adopt bi-racial children, i am doing just that, what i don't understand is when adoptive parents specify that they will adopt biraical children not aa children. i do however hear your point that many aa people will say that aa children should be raised in aa families. my sw didn't even want to place biraical children in my home, but in the end she did and i couldn't be happier about it. however, if i ever adopt again and dfs called me to take a full aa child, i would not hesitate, because it would be no different to me than having a biracial child. we are still a multi-racial family.

[FamilyBound]

where did my post go??

[mckenna]

that is strange, i don't know where it went, but my second post does not make sense now.

[jjjetplane2]

I really feel no where is racism as obvious as in adoption. People who desparately want to be parents, create a family, have a child.... but not one that has too much melatonin in the skin.

I was watching a video on transracial adoption recently and they talked of the hierarchy in adoption or a 'pecking order' beginning with CC... Europe adoption... Asian... Hispanic ... bottom being AA and the hierarchy with in that being cc/AA, hisp/aa, and least desired AA.

It is really sad. I also often have wonder why not more people adopt from Africa as well considering the huge number of orphans there.

I guess in America some lives are less valued than others and it just depends on the amount of melatonin in the skin.

[Cortonagirl]

I'm white, my husband is AA, and we adopted a biracial baby. Why? Because we feel it will be easier on our child to grow up around children (and adults) that can be rude, nosey, and make it more difficult on the child.

Why on earth can we not be selective if the agencies are going to be selective with us? They have this huge criteria of wanting to know your financial history, and to read your homestudy, and if we want to pay more for a biracial child, that is our perogative.

I don't think it is right at all for agencies, attornies, facilitators, to determine the cost of the adoption based on skin color. I truly believe they treat children as "commodities". Supply and demand!
Very, very sad. My husband is deeply hurt that his own race, AA, are viewed as "less valued" as others. It hurts me as well. Thank God we live in an area where there is a tremendous amount of culutural diversity.

I see nothing wrong with white people adopting AA children, it's just harder no matter what you say, as they grow. The family may not raise them to see a difference in pigmentation, but the society will bring it to their attention as they grow up. These children can still thrieve and do great, but ensure they have some connection to their heritage! This can be through friends, mentors at school (teachers, historical figures, etc.).

It irritates me to no end that we paid SO much for our adoption - yet we're SO grateful for the blessing we have. It's sickening to me that we (me included) allow this to happen but I don't know what to do about it!

Believe me, if we were younger, we'd adopt more and we wouldn't care if he/she was full AA or biracial. We didn't have any idea how dark or light our child was going to be, but he looks right in the middle - a blend of my husband and I. I think that is fine and no one should be critical of us for just that.

[Linny]

In response to jjjetplane's question:

"It is really sad. I also often have wonder why not more people adopt from Africa as well considering the huge number of orphans there. "

There is an agency located in Indianapolis called, Americans for African Adoptions. It has an excellent reputation....has been featured on 20/20 or 60 minutes (one of those shows). We have checked into adopting from Africa.....just knowing that many of the children do, indeed need homes. Truly, the costs compared to domestic agency adoptions are comparable (total around 15,000, I believe....AND, you don't have to travel to get your child either.)

However, as explained on the Americans for African Adoptions website, only a very few of the African countries will allow adoption at all!!!!!! Plus, the African gov't will not allow older couples to adopt infants very easily (or at all?).

Very sad, I believe......but true. However, if you are younger and plan to spend this kind of money anyway.....I'd think it would certainly be an agency to consider!

And......saying that in America, the pigmentation matters, it's true; but also true in other countries. A friend born and raised in Ethiopia, told me that even lighter complected individuals from that country, sometimes look down on the darker complected people! And.....having a friend's son who married a lady from Botswana........he, being very dark complected, had to earn respect from the girl's father (much lighter in complection). Why? Because in their culture, darker complected people are at a lower class than lighter ones!
So, it would appear that these crazy and distorted ideas occur everywhere! Only God knows why!

And yes, it is wrong for agencies to charge according to skin pigmentation. But, the reasoning for this, is probably as wrong as agencies raising their prices because of the adoption tax credit. I cannot tell you how many caseworkers have told me wrong information about this. Not everyone can use this.....even if they aren't in a higher income range.


Sincerely,

Linny

[jbtemple]

i was completely open to race the first time around, and my son ended up being biracial (AA/caucasian). last year, when i started to pursue a second adoption, i wondered what might be best- boy, girl, biracial, or AA? EVERYONE had an opinion, most people said biracial would be better becuase being biracial is such a unique issue (especially my friends who are biracial). i waffled and finally decided that the best thing would be to stay totally open- like i was when i adopted my absolutely wonderful son.

after several failed biracial situations this year, i'm glad to say that we've adopted our little baby girl- Maya Grace. she's now six weeks old, and other than the fact that you can't put her down, she's a doll. both of her birthparents are AA, and her skin color is a beautiful coppery brown. i've noticed a difference from when my son was a baby (he "looked white" as an infant, but does not anymore)- strangers didn't know his was a transracial situation, so they weren't trying to figure us out. now, people definitely do look at me, look at the baby, look at my son, trying to place us, but i think that's only natural. everyone has been supportive and many people have told me how beautiful my kids are, and like my son always says "we're all brown mama" (i am brown in the heat of the summer, but the rest of the year just fair-skinned Irish).

i know people in my extended family were worried that an african american child wouldn't feel part of the family because they weren't part caucasian (like our big brood is), but now they've eased graciously into simply adoring the newest member. maybe it's that it feels like a bigger risk to people, that you wear your mutiracial family status more obviously, and yes, i know that some others simply hope for a child who will "pass". as above posters mentioned, my belief is that whether you adopt a biracial or "full" AA child, you must be comfortable with, supportive of, and part of the AA community. I always think that a good litmus test for prospective transracial adoptive parents is to imagine their adolescent child- either biracial or AA- dating an AA person. It puts things into perspective a bit.

i'm no expert, but i do think that despite my beliefs, people need to adopt children they feel comfprtable with. adoption is wonderful, but it's hard. there are many aparents of caucasian children who search for birth parents with similar features to their own, or similar to their other adopted chidlren. i think it's fine for people to know they are only comfortable adopting a biracial child- they may be an interracial couple, or maybe there are other biracial children in their circle of friends, or extended family, or close community- but it's definitely another thing if people think or hope that a biracial child will not be african-american too.

sorry for the long response- good topic! here's a photo of the kids...

[lambeausam]

When are we as a nation going to grow up and get past the dermis! I am the proud parent of two MULTI-RACIAL boys. My oldest son is especially proud of his beautiful brown skin (thanks to his Latino roots) and even comments throughout the summer, "Mom, look how tan I'm getting." Oh I wish I had that ability to tan - my Norwegian roots kind of get in the way. Our family is pursuing adoption once again - we are waiting for the selection committee decision - the sibling group also have a beautiful tan!

[mckenna]

jbtemple your children are beautiful. how old is your son?

[jjjetplane2]

What beautiful kids!

People talk so much about exposing kids to the AA culture. Which is fine & dandy except it is very hard to put a finger on 1 'culture' that exists.

Assuming that culture is an issue for all AA adoptees, would that not be the same for a Russian, Korean, or Guatamalian child? Is it not easier to expose your child to a culture that is in your country rather across the world?

Yes, i do understand that people want to adopt children that look like them, but be realistic! My friend waited and got a blonde hair blue eyed $35,000 baby. He also has fetal alcohol effect, congestive heart failure, but boy do they look alike!
So as my brown skin babe prepares for Kindergarten and already knows how to read, she is trying to address the issues of how to mainstream her disabled CC child into school.

But yes I must agree, if you are a racist do not adopt an AA child.

[mckenna]

i don't necissarily feel like people who are not comfortable adopting children of other races are racist. some feel they could not adequately provide the best invironment for children of another race, or maybe their immediate family has race issues that people do not feel com. subjecting children too. my issue is with people who will consider adoptin aa/ca children but not aa children in the hopes that they will be more white than aa. i feel they are setting themselves and their child up to fail. this thread was not intended to make people feel bad about not wanting to adopt a child of another race, i was honestly curious why a person whould feel more comfortable parenting a biracial child rather than an aa child.

[Linny]

JBTemple:

Your post was right on the mark....well said. Your babies are absolutely beautiful!

Sincerely,

Linny