[2ndHandChild]

Hello, I am an interracial adoptee and I am starting a support group in the California/Bay Area for interracial adult adoptees. If you live in the area and would like to attend please contact me for information. Even if you don't I would still like your input. I'm curious to know how many people feel that they might benefit from a support group. I would also like to know what a person might look for or need when choosing a support group.

[KaseyHamnerM.S.]

Support groups are essential to help adoptees process their loss and help them in their search, if applicable. I think you are doing a great thing. I think the watchwords should be "patience",
"understanding", and "acceptance." Letting people have their feelings is important, but meetings are NOT a place to dump and place blame. I always feel that while it is important to be allowed to share all feelings, some feelings are better shared on a one-to-one basis. Hope this helps.

[2ndHandChild]

Kasey, I truly appreciate your feedback. I understand that ultimately a support group is supposed to bring about a positive outcome...one of comfort, growth, communication, etc. I honestly don't want the group to transform itself into a "pity party." However, I think it's important to "dump." I'd prefer to rephrase it and say unload, remove baggage, get rid of the clutter, take out the trash. It's okay as along as we don't find ourselves getting stagnant or cultivating a negative environment.

I feel it's important to explore all emotions. For many years I've managed to place my feelings along with myself as an interracial adoptee in a lockbox of self-pity. Consequently, I allowed myself to drown in my misfortune rather than grow as an adoptee. I never allowed myself to consciously define or truly explore the feelings that I felt. It was always a one dimensional dynamic for me -- I was adopted and I'm hurt by it.

I now know that it's okay to look at it in a 3 dimensional way. I'm willing to uncover the many levels of pain, confusion, love lost, love shared, rebirth, culture, heritage, etc. that I've experienced. I'm ready to open up and share my journey and learn about the journey of others. The support group is CPR -- a resuscitation of sorts. It's a way for me to begin to breathe life into my soul and allow myself to reach out to those around me, and not fear the genuine connection I might have with others.

Again, thank you for your input.