[flowerchild]

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I am 55 and for the first time, looking for my birth parents (BP). Is it to late? My aparents are both deceased. They were wonderful parents who loved my all of my life! I fear that my BP may also be deceased. Is anyone else in the forum in my age range and just now starting the search? Any tips or words of encouragement?

[Caliendy]

I'm 54 and I have just begun to search. I know that there is the possibility that my bmother might be dead, but I still think it is worth at least trying to locate her. Who knows....maybe I have some brothers and sisters out there!
Both of my aparents are also deceased. I never felt comfortable about doing a search while my amom was alive. She was very defensive on the subject of my bparents. I think that she thought that any interest I had in finding them would be evidence that I didn't love her. There was no way that I could ever make her understand that it didn't have anything to do with her, it had to do with finding out who I was. But for my amom, everything always had to be about her.

[cpebble]

Good luck looking. I am also 54 and sort of looking. I know my bfather is deceased but I am having no luck on finding anything on my bmom. My amom told me they were very young but I know that my bfather was the same age as my aparents. He died before I was born. My adoption papers say they were married but I haven't found any proof that they were. Hope you find them.
cpebbles birth name sherry ann pedro

[dl]

I am 52 and just requested my non identifying information from the adoption agency. My aparents are also both deceased.

I never wanted to disrupt my bparents lives. Things were so different many years ago. They were made to feel shameful and it was a big secret. Perhaps they have never told anyone - who knows. Depending on what I learn will determine if I pursue a complete search. At this point I just don't know. Yes, they could be deceased but perhaps I will be able to learn about my beginning and them anyway.

Best of Luck to you.

[sam_i_am_71801]

Dear Flowerchild,
I was reunited with my birthfamily after 35 years of separation. Trust me it is never too late. Why? Because you never know what you are going to find. I found my parents plus two sisters, two nephews two nieces, 18 aunts and uncles and tons of cousins. So you ask yourself. Is it too late to look? NO it isn't your family does not end with your parents. You could have brothers and sisters waiting for you to come home. Mine were.

TERRIS' POEM
WAITING TO BE REUNITED

WHO AM I
I HAVE NO CLUE
FOR I HAVE NO BEGINNING
JUST A MIDDLE AND AN END
TO PASS ALONG, TO MY KIN

WHO DO I LOOK LIKE
FOR I CAN'T SEE
MY MOTHER AND FATHER
WHO GAVE BIRTH TO ME

DO I HAVE A SISTER OR
BROTHER
I MAY NEVER KNOW

WHO DO I LOOK LIKE
FROM WHERE DO I COME
I KNOW NOT YET
BUT THERE IS SOMEONE

MY HERITAGE
I MAY NEVER KNOW
FOR THE STATE HAS
HAS SEALED MY FATE
WITH A PROMISE THAT'S CLEAR
NO REUNION
FOR YOU MY DEAR:


SHARONS' POEM
REUNITED

WHO WAS I
I HADN'T A CLUE
UNTIL THAT MOMENT
WHEN I MET YOU

WHO DO I LOOK LIKE
I NOW CAN SEE
MY MOTHER AND FATHER
STANDING BEFORE ME

I HAVE TWO SISTERS
AS CUTE AS CAN BE
MY CHILDREN HAVE COUSINS
A FAMILY ARE WE

MY HERITAGE
I NOW KNOW
FROM WHAT SEEDS
THAT I WAS SEWN

THE STATE DID NOT WIN
IT'S CLEAR TO SEE
I NOW HAVE MY FAMILY
SHARING LIFE WITH ME: GO FOR IT!

[Maryannmcgwin]

It's so helpful to know I'm not the only old lady out there looking for family. I'm 50. And it just seems the time is right for me. Mom is gone, kids are raised, I have the time to look. I agree with everyone, its the whole family I want to meet, not just birthmom. I realize it might be hard for her to deal with, but like you, I expect the siblings to be a little more welcoming. Maybe I watched too much Oprah! I've read a lot of stories on this forum that have gone either way. Some families can't accept, still, the idea that we aren't some big shameful secret that needs kept to save the family honor. Others just open their arms. I can't imagine anyone being related to me, who takes in stray kids, animals, whatever, and their not taking me in, too. Good luck everybody!

[maggie maye]

I am 50 also and have been searching on and off for as long as I can remember. I think I have finally found my bmom (99% sure). Now I'm just trying to work up the courage to contact her. She was 19 when she surrendered me which would make her 69. Unfortunately I feel emotionally stuck in this spot and I wonder if anyone else has felt this way? I have read several books, written her a letter (unsent), even done a few drive-bys (she lives about an hour away) but can't seem to make that leap. After all the years of work searching and all the tears shed in sadness frustration, and longing I can not believe it has come to this. I am having alot of anxiety over this as I feel time is running out. Sorry as I reread this I feel I've turned this reply in to an "about me thing". What I really wanted to say was don't give up hope because of your age. Even at 50 it is possible to find your bmom alive and well!

[Shauna_pk]

I am 41 years old and this is my first time in an adoption web-site. I'm suprised at how interested I am. Wow! I never knew there were people my age that are also interested in "where they came from." I never was curious enough to do anything or ask many questions, but my a-Mom's death 3 years ago seems to have sparked a growing interest.

My memories go back to only knowing I was adopted. I am so lucky to have had my parents. I can't imagine anything better! They earned my respect & fear without ever laying a hand on me. That look in their eyes whenever I acted out or screwed up was enough to get me back on track and I was not an easy kid.

[Carla Valerio]

It is never too late there may be brothers and sisters out there
that are looking for you. We are currently doing that very thing
We are looking for older siglings born fron 1944 to 1960 in various states / unknown genders/ you could be one of them
E mail us Carantik@aol.com

[snuffie]

Hi!
I am 53 and last year found out who my bmom was. Unfortunately she had passed away 4 years previously. But I have had a super reunion with my 8 brothers and sisters.

The feeling is indescribable! So don't ever give up! It is incredible.
you may contact me at Jimnsuzi@aol.com

[sal]

I waited 47 years to even begin to think about a reunion with my bmom. But once I made the decision....it happened very quickly. I had such exhileration and fear when not only did I find HER but also found 3 half brothers and a half sister. It took me 2 months after locating her to get the nerve to have a friend (a reunited bmom herself) to make the first phone call to MY bmom. The call was made on my 48th birthday.....a date I was certain she remembered. It has been a life altering, peace bringing experience that I wish I had done sooner. BUT.....one of my new brothers has said......it happened for a reason when it did happen.....so.....Keep Faith.....and know that others know what you are feeling.....I wish you all strength and hope that what you find brings you the answers that you need.

[jbekkaz]

I am 42 and was just told yesterday by my "half-sister" that my mother is not my real mom. I have not confronted my "mother" about this and I'd rather not at this point in time. She is 81 and very ill at home. In fact; I am flying there to care for her in a couple of days.

Fortunately my "sister" did tell me whom my supposed bmother is. It is someone whom I was raised believing is my cousin. The unfortunate in all of this is that she passed away two years ago.

I'm not sure how to go about all this. Today is my first day here at the forum. Do you think it's wrong that I am searching without my "mothers" knowledge? I just want to know if it is true and see it on paper. It really doesn't matter...I love the woman who raised me and she will always be my MOTHER.

[sal]

No........it is NOT wrong to procede and not share it with your "mom".......you need to do what you need to for YOUR peace of mind and understanding. I applaud you for your sensitivity for your mom......and hope that whatever you find you will be able to understand why they chose to do what they did...and that you find closure to what I know must be a life altering experience.

[jbekkaz]

Thanks for your input Sal...now I just need to figure out where to start. My birth certificate states that my mother and father are the persons whom raised me...so if I was adopted...the record must have been changed. This ought to be like a needle in a haystack...

[dpen]

Hi I am 45 and still searching. I reunited with my bmother 17 years ago. At that time I thiught that was all I needed. As time went on and I finished having my family(still busy bringing them up!), lost my amom(who was very supportive), i realized i needed to find my bdad. I have half his genes and is a major contributer to who I am. I realizaed I needed to complete the circle as to who I am. I think that is important at any age. Evan if you find that your bparents are gone you still may be able to get some info which can help with closure. I did find someone who I thought was my bdad, he and his family were very excited. They are wonderful people... The DNA was neg. I was shocked because I saw def. family resemblance. I was disappointed also. I was very surprised at the depth of my disappointment. i cried the whole morning I found out! I think because I am not sure I could go through this again...it can be disruptive to my life and also the man and his family if he is not my birthfather. Sorry, got off track here. Anyway I don't think it is ever to late to get info at the very least...I do believe that is an inherant right we have. We had no control over our conception,birth,or early lives we should at least be able to get info. Go for it. We might still be talking when we are in our sixties and seventies!!! Donna