[elvisgirl99]

I am an adoptee, and i see alot of people on here feel the same way i do. I was wondering if anyone had a bad experience being adopted, i did, i can't stand my adoptive parents. I think talk shows should have the flip side of adoption stories on there, like how adoptees feel in the whole adoption process.

[sadboo2]

Im adopted too.. and i think my life could of been worse.. but i do hate living here.. we dont agree on anything.. my amom is soo controlling.. my adad and me are very close.. then i have a brother which is their bson.. i get treated different alot different.. but i guess that is the way life goes.. i just dont understand why people think adopted kids are just soo special.. all my friends know where they came from.. i dont... i dont know if im indian or if im german or if im irish.. i dont know.. i could have breast cancer.. i dont know.. its little stuff like that.. that i really wanna know.. and i cant know.. cause my amom doesnt tell me anything...
So im here to say that i understand what you are going through.. if you wanna talk more here is my email hugs4ununu@aol.com

peace
christi

[staceyj26rn]

just a thought for the 2 of you..i am 26 and was adopted when i was 2 months old. I recieved my non identyifying info about a year and a half ago, and trust me i am way better off with my parents. my bfamily were white trash, plain and simple. they lived in a trailer aprk and my b grandparents on both the birthmom's and bf;s side were married and divorced so many times its pathetic. not to mention all of my birthmom and bf's 1/2 brothers and sisters, 2 of them are in a mental institute. I dont know how old you guys are, but we all fight with our parents, hey i still do and am married and a mother of 2. As for nationalities, that si in your non identyifying info. good luck to bothof you and just think, it could be worse.

[A_mothers_love]

Hi you private posted me too but I wanted to add a few things, I am a exiled mother. I just recieved my sons adoption records, what they said about me was total and complete lies to make me look insignificant, for how could adopters possibly accept a child knowing that they had a "normal" family. Trust me social services plays with all these records to make the baby look good to the adopters. I am very sorry you are hurt and angry but do not be to suprised if you find that your other parents are actual every day people like the ones who raised you. You have to remember when you are posting that your anger does show and it is not a good thing to put on someone else's fears for their bio family. If I were you I would start a search for your bio family no matter what it says in your non id, for you need to know that they are not full of the truth. it is just paper, not the real person.
Hugs
Melissa

[vicrose]

Honestly, I do talk about my adoption situation being less than idealic at times, but than other times I guess it couldv'e been worse, I was told that my mother was 16 and my father 18 at the time of my birth-how on earth could 2 young kids in the 60's parent without any help from family? I think that my adoption situation has made me a stronger, more independent person-and maybe without being adopted I might not be this strong. It's just a thought............

[Audrey3401]

Elvisgirl99 can you maybe explain to me what you mean when you said your adoption was a BAD expierence. I'm a birthmom and would like to hear all sides of adoption. The good and bad. Please share. Thank you!
NIKI

[A_mothers_love]

I was fourteen when I gave birth to my son. In the sixties yes it would have been hard, but in the eighties it was a done thing. I believe losing my son to adoption has made me a stronger person, adoption does that to everyone. It makes us strong because we have to come up with different coping mechanisms to be able to survive, personally I wish I had my son and was weak. it would be a lot less painful
Hugs
Melissa

[vicrose]

Melissa, I have had to be strong all my life and yes in a way I guess it is a coping mechanism. But thank God I was blessed with that coping mechanism, because at times I have truly felt like I was a crazy person!!!!, but then I would have to tell myself to snap out of it, because no one understands the pain the way we do. I truly cannot feel the pain that the birthmother feels, but from the flip side, as an adoptee, it is pretty painful, and it was really intense when I was younger. I'm sorry, I don't mean to ramble, I just really need a birthmother to talk to who can tell me how they feel. I am searching for my birthmother, and just don't want to say the wrong things when I finally meet her. Could you give me some suggestions.Please e-mail me at CarlBren@optonline.net Thanks, Brenda.....

[MixandMatch]

It would be nice to talk to birth mothers since my birth mother is so paralyzed by her pain that she simply cannot have me around as a constant reminder of her decision to let me go. I always think her second rejection of me had to do with me being unlovable. BUT IT DOESN'T!! She is in pain and does not want to face her pain. I must move on.

[sweetnoodle]

I agree with the post from the other person post and realize that not everything in non-identifying info is representative of who people (your birthfamily) are today. People do grow and change. Also, I know that people have this stereotype, but my adoptive mom now lives in a trailer, whereas when we were growing up, I thought we were rich! My adoptive parents adopted the philosophy that they would give us everything they could, which left my mom in debt when my dad died at an early age. I hate the term "trailer trash." It can be very offensive. Also, the other person noted that some of the non-id info is simply fictitious. I'm glad when families don't have any divorce, or alcoholism or other "bad" stuff, or mental illness, but most families, both adoptive and birth, do have relatives with these problems, and I wouldn't generalize, especially about people you don't really know. People need to be careful when talking about mental illness too, especially if they've never experienced themselves or in their family.

[A_mothers_love]

it has been seven months since I found my son, though I am not positively sure that he knows I found him. I feel so utterly rejected. I understand that he is only fourteen (near fifteen) and he may not be emotionally able to make any move, but I think if he even acknowledged me I would feel better about this situation I am in. I know that ultimately it is his choice to know me perhaps his aparents thoughts and feelings are shadowing his true feelings I dont know. I am so terrified of losing him once again I stand still walking on egg shells, but the pain is ripping me apart. I made the decision to take his picture of my fridge, out of my room bathroom and every other place I have it and stick it somewhere I will never find. The pain of loss was horrible to endure now that I found him the pain is immeasurable. Again I fully understand that he is not the only one controlling his emotions....anyway I am at the point of breaking, see I know his address phone number were he goes to school (all of this found by my me) not given to me. I have and never will use any of this information unless of course I have permission, I feel right now I never will have that. So I have relented once again. I have lost my son once again. For me my self saving mechanism is to forget...it is hard but I have a unique perk...I can disassociate at any given time. This is what saved me before and I am sure it will save me again. Dont worry though, I did fufill my obligations for him, His parents are now the recipients of any and all medical and family back ground that he will ever need.
Hugs
Melissa