[Betty Lou]

Are there any adoptee's that had a good life as a adopted child? So many of these posts are from people that are angry about being adopted. I was adopted by the most caring parents you could have ever asked for. Yes we had are ups and downs but every child/parent relationship goes that way.I am concerned that b-moms reading the negitive post are going to wonder if the decision that they made was the right one. I am also a b-mom so I can relate to so many things. I found my birth daughter this spring and things are going great.I am still seaching for my b-mom.Please let people know your stories of adoptions that went well. It will help everyone involved.Good luck in your searches and peace be with you. VAL

[CherryV]

I had a great life as an adopted child and am having a good one as an adopted adult! I didn't think much about being adopted till a few years ago.

I'm now in reunion with both bparents and although it hasn't been long it is going well and I think it will continue to.

Those considering placing their child do need to hear both sides, there are no guarantees that their child will live the life they want from them. And it's not all about whether or not the adoptive parents are "good".

[Linda anklam]

Just wanted to let you know that I had and still continue to have a wonderful life as an adopted adult. I couldn't have asked for better Aparents. Even when I hooked up with the wrong roommate they were there to support me thru the whole thing. And when my marriage failed they were there in a heart beat drove straight from maryland to florida in 24 hours and when I called them only 3 hours or so after they got there we were on our way back to maryland. I know sometimes I haven't been the best child but they were always there for me. I'm thankful that I have had such a wonderful life. I have read posts to say otherwise. and I feel sorry that that person didn't have a very good childhood. And if I ever do meet my Bparents I will tell them that I have had a good life and not to feel bad about the relinquishment of their daughter. Linda

Yes! I've had a wonderful life. I have the best parents in the world and my childhood was the best. Even though I was never told I was adopted and found out by accident at 21 yrs of age, I was never angry or bitter towards my parents for never telling me. My parents taught me to be a respectful, responsible, and loving person. I love my family and we have a very close relationship, even though I chose not to tell them I know I'm adopted. For whatever their reasons were, I respect them and now 21yrs later I am dealing with being adopted and trying to find out who I was before I was adopted. My parents have been so wonderful that I would never do anything to hurt, which is why I will never tell them that I know and that I am trying to find information about myself.

It amazes me how many adoptees there are that are bitter and angry and seem to blame "being adopted" on why they have failed in life. I know I am one of the lucky ones who had terrific aparents, however, I have chosen to live with the secret of being adopted for 21yrs. I have never told any family member that I know and I've only ever told a few friends. However I do not let that ruin my life or blame anyone for what happened. I think it's sad when people blame others when they can change it themselves. Maybe I have the wrong view on being adopted, maybe I would feel differently if my experience had been negative, I don't know. I didn't mean to be long-winded, I just wanted you to know that there are happy adoptees at there and I am one of them.

[kim_8282]

Of course I've had a wonderful life! I have the best aparents in the world... they have loved me and supported me throughout my whole life, and though there were moments when I hated them (as all teenagers did), the love I have for them is so much stronger. Now, I won't lie; I would love to meet my bmom, and am actually in the process of searching now. But you know what? My aparents are so incredibly wonderful, that they are bending over backwards to try and help me find her. And they talk to me, as an adult, about it. I had a great childhood; one of my fondest memories is sitting at my kitchen table with my dad when I was about 7 or 8 and drinking soda and watching the sun rise with him. There have been times when I wished I was just like everybody else, and there have been times when I've hated myself and my life. But those feeling have been out of anger and sadness, and are only fleeting. When I look back at my life as a whole, my aparents have provided me with nothing but love, support, and a warm caring home.
Not everyone here is angry, but some people are. And just because that's true, don't let that discourage you from finding your bdaughter! I'm sure she would love to hear from you; you are an essential part of her being, and someone who I'm sure she thinks about everyday. I know I think about my bmom every day, and miss her very much. Be happy that she has had a wonderful childhood, and know that you will always be a part of her; no one can take that away from you. Be strong, and God bless you!

Hugs for All,
lilkim

[debsdone]

Hi Betty Lou! I am a 45 year old adoptee, and I had a good life. There were many ups and downs, and I raise my children quite differently than I was raised. But I believe my parents did the best they were able.
I know LOTS of adopted people. Most of them do not see adoption as an issue in their lives. I think in a forum like this, you see mostly people "looking" for something or another. The people I know aren't here. Neither was I for 45 years. I was just as adopted. Nobody has ever asked me, or anyone I know, to fill out a questionaire about adoption. Nor have I participated in any surveys. I have serious serious doubts about the accuracy of the "statistics" that are thrown around here. If the figures are being obtained from sites like this, it is obviously going to have slanted results. It really isn't fair to consider these results a fair reporting of the ACTUAL adoption community. There is a HUGE number of happy adoptees who are simply living their lives, not participating in these discussion boards. Many have no intrest in finding b-families. (mostly men, from the people I know) I was totally shocked at the anger and resentment I found here. I understand individual cases, but mostly I don't get it.
Anyways, I hope lots of people respond to this thread. I think there are more "happy" situations than you think!! Love, Debi

[raybuffer]

I had a wonderful upbringing, and currently enjoy a happy life. But it is not as fulfilling as it would be if I were permitted to know who I was (good or bad) before my birth certificate was amended.

Debating seems to be frowned upon here by a choice few, There is a contingent present here, set on putting a happy face on everything, as if that will make the problems go away. They prefer to not encourage birthmothers and adoptive parents to question the reprecussions of certain types of adoption, and complain about those who do. But none of that makes me angry. It simply disappoints me.

The internet is a marvelous tool for those who pretend they are something they are not. So one has to measure the accuracy of anyone's opinion (including my own) in any of these forums, with their true identity, agenda and motives.

I enjoy a wonderful relationship with my adoptive father. He is a quiet man but he believes in me and supports my need to know. I wouldn't trade being adopted by him and my (deceased) mother for anything. But that doesnt change the fact that sealed adoptions should be the exception rather than the rule, and the damage done by them in the past, needs to be repaired.

All The Best,

Ray Buffer

[kay2002]

http://www.adoptionforums.com/t88364.html

[buzzescobar@msn]

my name is maryann and i have been searching for my sister betty lou for a very long time. i prayed to god to bring me a sister and of course as life would have it i lost her. it was extremely devestating for me as a child and now i still search.. every where i go i look at each young lady as if she could be my sister. i have loved her since before she was born. and i only love her more today. i really need to find my sister born as betty lou hawk in tucson, az on july 13, 1969. and betty if this is you and you dont want to know me i will be hurt but be ok cause i would have found you and been able to tell you myself how much i love you still.......your sister maryann

[babymeows]

I have a great adopted life. I was adopted at the age of 6. My brother and I love our apairents. We always knew we were adopted and we did not mind at all. Our life before adoption was awfull. I am now 25yrs old and my brother is 27. We would not change anything from our adopted life.

Our birth mother and our birth sister found us about a mo. ago. I always wondered what it would be like to here from them. I always wanted to find our older sister and it has been great to get to know her over the phone. I am sure we will realy get to know eachother and hope to have a good relationship with her. She is 30yrs old now and lives in Alaska. I am in Texas. She has 3 kids that have been taken away from her and I am looking to try to adopt them to keep them together.

I dont think getting to know our bmom will be as easy. My brother remembers alot more than I do. I am glad I cant remember. My brother goes through hell with his memories of before we were adopted. Talking to our bmother on the phone I can tell she is still a drunk if not still on drugs. I was very disapointed and had always hoped she had straightened her life up after we had been taken away. Now I know she will never change it hurts. Maybe if she had tried to better her life I would be able to feel more for her, but as it is it seems we ment very little to her. She tells us how much she loved us and missed us and is still angry that we were taken away from her.But she had over 8yrs to get her life straight before we were gone from her forever. My brother was 8 when he was adopted. He is 2yrs older than me.

I thank god more now since we have talked to her that we have such a good family.We both probably would be dead if things had not happened the way they did. Our apairents are the best things in our lives. I know we were not easy kids to raise when they got us, because of all we had been though, but they gave us more love than anyone had ever gave us. I just hope I can do the same for my 2 boys ages 3yrs and 1yr. And if I get my sisters 3 kids I want to try to give them the chance of staying together, as they are in seperate foster homes right now. They are older children, and I know that will probably make it harder, but I know my mom will be just a phone call away if I need her advise. I am talking about my amom by the way.....lol
Sorry so long.

[dl]

I had a very normal, good upbringing by my adoptive parents. They were very loving and gave me the best values and life that was within their power to give. They truly wanted a child. Were they perfect? Of course not. Do people I know that were raised by their biological parents think that their parents were perfect? Of course not. I think we all reach a point where we need to accept the responsibility for our own choices and behaviors - good or bad. Being adopted may influence certain feelings but I don't think it's realistic to blame every mistake we make on being adopted.
My adoptive parents are both deceased now and I miss them dearly. I hope to find out the truth about the beginning of my life, medical history and let my birthparents know they made the right decision for whatever reason, but I also realize my birthparents may also be deceased at this point.
I always knew I was adopted. As I got older my parents always expressed appreciation that my birthparents brave decision made it possible for them to have me in their lives.

[Betty Lou]

Thank you so much for your response. You put into works what I have had a hard time doing. I wish you luck in your search. Maybe this new year coming up will be the one for us to find our b-families. Peace be with you VAL

[jilmunroe]

My lif eis good. Myparents and I are very close. My adoption (and that of my two adopted siblings) was always a very minor part of our lives. The three of us always knew. My brother found his b-mother and we all sat down for beers. ****** if I didn't like the woman too!
I am searching for my b-mother (on and off again searching). Curiousity more than anything. My real parents the ones I thank God for everyday, are those parents that live down the road from me and take care of my daughter while I am at work. They are the ones that think the suns rises and sets on their 3 children and 4 grandchildren.
I was adopted, it is what it is: a fact of my life that doesn't get the credit OR blame for the success or failures in my life.

[debsdone]

"I was adopted, it is what it is: a fact of my life that doesn't get the credit OR blame for the success or failures in my life."

I LOVE this line! I didn't have the good relationship with my a-parents, nor are we that close now, but I still agree 100%! Happy New Year to everyone! Love, Debi

[buzzescobar@msn]

deb,
i agree with that line.......wish everyone felt that way.
happy new year to you too. and by the way, did you ever find
any of your bfamily? r u still searching????
god bless
maryann