[clarkpg]

ive always wondered that. Since it was a closed adoption I dont know my birth parents and I have always wondered if they remember or even celebrate my birth day.

[sp4home]

I found my bmom three years ago and we have exchanged a few letters. I have never received a card from her on my birthday. But, after being in denial for 39 years (closesd adoption), I am sure she blocked it out.

I have a friend that is a bmom, and she gets her daughter a card for every occasion, especially birthdays, and puts them in a box to give to her daughter should her daughter as an adult ever seek to find her.

I guess it all depends on the bmoms situation.

[Carried]

As a B-mom I can only speak for myself, I always remember my daughters B-day, I have a daughter that I one year older that my daughter that I had to place so I imagine what she looks like at another year older, what she is going through with dating and college etc. I only hope that I can celebrate her next birthday with her, God Willing.

[bmLisa]

Hi! I am a birthmom, and I can definitely say that I always think of my son, not just on his birthday. Open adoption is a fairly new concept, atleast it has only been widely accepted within the last ten years. Until recently birthmoms were told to forget, and encouraged to 'move on with their lives'. It is hard to be in that situation in the first place, but when everyone around you is telling you to not think or talk about it, it isn't easy to do the opposite. Please don't be too hard on birthparents if you don't have contact with them, it is not always their choice.

Lisa

[tarossiter]

i have put up a son for adoption and i celebrate his birthday every year.....i also count down the years until i can see him again.....so don't loose hope that your parents don't think about you.

[Bunny311]

I've often wondered that same thing! For as long as I can remember I have hated celebrating my birthday for me it is just a reminder of the day I was tossed aside! I've wondered for 27 years if she is in as much pain as I am on that day! I guess it's something I will never know!

[Bunny311]

I just have to say one more thing....why do the birth people or the egg and sperm donors as I call them think they have the right to call themselves parents of the children they gave away? To earn that title you have to actually raise that child! Those two people didn't raise me they gave me away so their lives wouldn't be burdened by a me! You people may think you've done this wonderous thing by giving that child a better life but what you may not realize is that they may have gone through hell because of the decision you made! I struggle with and have struggled with being adopted for 27 years!

Anyway sorry had to vent!

[Mary J. Barber]

This Birthmom remembers and never forgot her daughter. My daughter was born in 1955 in the spring time early part of the month. You didn't give your name. So I am questioning your gender. I am looking for my daughter! Her records are sealed.

[Bunny311]

Mary J.

I am female and was born 4-11-1975

[Gina_BM12/86]

Yes I know I remember my daughter's birthday....think of her every year on her special day....and wait for the day I finally get to see her again...

[Mary J. Barber]

To Bunny311
My daughter was taken from me at birth and adopted. I was forced to sign blank papers. I didn't want her adopted! I had a real bad time with it and went through denial and a lot more. I have never forgotten her all these 47years. It has been very hard for me. But now I am much stronger and able to talk more openly about it and all that I went through. There is always a reason why a person is adopted. Your birth mother has her reason. You shouldn't feel the way you do untill you know the reason why. I am sorry you had a rough life and Im sure when you do find your birth mother she can tell you her story. I hope I have lightend your thoughts on adoption. I hope you have made a better life for yourself and can over come the bad.

[Mubsta]

Hi.
I'm 15 and I'm an adoptee. I have full confidence that my birthparents think about me on my birthday. How could they not. It's not something that you'd forget easily.
I think about them on my birthday, but not anymore than I do any other day.

I'm very lucky. I've had a wonderful life. I used to find it very hard being adopted but it's getting easier and easier. The more I talk about it, the less of an issue it is. I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like for those adoptees who haven't had a loving family like I have...

Originally posted by Bunny311
I've often wondered that same thing! For as long as I can remember I have hated celebrating my birthday for me it is just a reminder of the day I was tossed aside! I've wondered for 27 years if she is in as much pain as I am on that day! I guess it's something I will never know!

I was really saddened by your message, and that you refered to your birthparents as the sperm and egg donors. And that you feel they tossed you aside. maybe they did the only thing they could... I often try to put myself in my birth mothers position and can't. It must of been the hardest thing she'd ever done and I'm sorry your adoption's been so hard on you.

[tanky]

I found my b-mom 7 years ago. When I did, she mention the fact that she remembered every birthday without me. Now I am looking for my cousin given up by my aunt two months after I was. His mother thinks of him all the time. Hopefully yours does too. My experience has been wonderful with my b-mom and hope your will be to when your find her.

good-luck,

Tanky(John)

[bmLisa]

I was really saddened by your post. I released my son for adoption at birth last year. While my pregnancy was unplanned, he was not unwanted, but I grew up with a single mother who struggled and worked herself to death to provide me and my brother with the bare necessities to live. As an adult, I now realize just how much she sacrificed for us. I am not married, and have not finished college. I work full time to pay my bills, and do not want my child to have the childhood that I had. My son deserves to have a safe and secure home, two parents coming home at the end of the day, it was hard to admit that I am not able to give him those things right now, but I did because I love him more than anything in this world. I do agree with you that it takes more than giving birth to be a good parent, but I am his mother and no one can ever take that away from me. I did what I did out of love and not so that my life wouldn't be burdened, I am sorry that you feel that way about your birthparents. I can only pray that you can find someone that you can talk to about your feelings and anger so that you can be at peace with your life.

lisa

[Bunny311]

I understand what everyone is saying but it doesn't mean that I don't have the right to feel the way I do! When I was given up I was given a written explaination as to why I was being given up and because of that explaination I feel the way I do!

My parents (real parents the ones that raised me) are wonderful and I love them with all of my heart! My feelings have nothing to do with having a horrible childhood, I had a wonderful childhood! I feel the way I do because of the written words that were left with me when I was adopted! As adopted children we may not all feel the same but I'm sure we understand one another better than those who are not adopted! But, to made to feel like my feelings are wrong is not fair of anyone to do! Everyones story is different!

However, I do feel like calling the "birthparents" your parents is a slap in the face to the parents who actually raised you! They are the ones who were there when you were sick, went to your athletic events, etc. they deserve the title of parents, those who gave you up did not raise you and do not deserve to be called your parents!! Just my opinion!