[MissieMouse]

This may be a really ignorant question, but I have an opportunity to ask individual questions when it comes to sending in for my adoption file. I can ask for non-indentifying information, but I am a bit confused as to what non-identifying information is. For instance, is asking for a biological mother and father's birthdate a legitamate question to ask? What about what is the process surrounding the termination of my biological parent's parental rights? Or what about asking about my birth...or if there are pictures in the file?

Could someone please indicate which questions it would NOT be appropriate to ask?

[evansmum]

I am pretty sure that birthdates are fine, and I don't see a problem asking if there are pictures of you as an infant or newborn. I wish I had some - I was adopted at almost a year old. Did you ever have to hum and haw whenever you were asked to bring baby pictures to school (high school yearbook...)?? It sucks.....

I think as long as you can't take the information they give you and say, HEY I know who these people are, then it should be okay.

I know that I have my bio parents birthdates (well bio mother anyway), how many siblings they have, how they did in school, physical descriptions, personalities, why I was given up for adoption - now that story has changed over the years. It wasn't part of my Non-Identifying Info, but somehow my parents knew. They only told me a few years ago (I was an emotionally fragile teenager - I am being nice to me!! ) that I hadn't been surrendered for adoption, but rather taken by CAS for neglect. I don't know, I haven't met my bio parents to hear from them, but that's all I know so far. Luckily, I am not a person to hear something and take it as fact. My bio parents will be given every opportunity to be in my life - you can't have too many people who love you.........

Okay sorry, getting off track here. I would say that any information that you could take and locate your bio family would be off limits. Your best bet is to ask everything you want to know, and take the answers you get. Keep smiling, frowning causes wrinkles

[TeriBachMFT]

Hi MissieMouse

Non-identifying information is any information that is in your file which would not specifically identify your birthparents. They will probably give you a description of your parents' physical appearance, height, weight, etc. but not their names, addresses and anything that could tell you how to find them.

Rather than asking for specific non-identifying information, you may just ask them for all the non-identifying information in your file (I think this is usually what gets sent to you for a fee). Let the agency send you everything they can (or will). Good luck and let us know what happens.

[sonata]

I am not a search expert - I had my search done by a PI. But for what it's worth, my advice is to ask ANYTHING you want to know. There are no "inappropriate" questions. It's YOUR life and YOUR identity! The worst they can do is refuse to answer some of your inquiries. It's not like they are going to throw you in jail for asking!

And from what I've heard, you never know who may either slip up and answer something that they "shouldn't" or who might decide "to heck with it" and just tell you what you want to know. If you don't ask you have NO chance of getting the answer.

Good luck!

[MissieMouse]

I guess I get a bit confused with non-identifying information because no matter what I ask, to me, it will always have some sort of significance in identifying, because I have found my biological parents. So, happy un-birthday to me. (In the words of Alice in Wonderland)

[MissieMouse]

I'm just so excited....all those flippin' phone calls are finally paying off. I kept getting shuffled around to all sorts of people in different departments.....I felt like I was getting the run-a-round. But finally, someone from my adoption agency.....woo-hoo, is going to get the ball rolling for me.

If I don't ask any information....will they just give me all the information (non-identifying information) that they have...or do I have to go out of my way and ASK for all the things? I'm not sure how it works. All I know is I want my 75$ worth of information LOL

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