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Originally Posted By Derek

My name is Derek, 29, from Ontario, Canada. I was adopted at birth and at age 19 was reunited with my birth mother, and later on, my birth father. It has been a great experience, and I maintain a relationship with both birth parents today.

Over the years I've come to see how my life experiences/views/habits etc. were shaped by growing up with my adopted parents. I also see that even though I was raised adopted, the biological and genetic influences have been profound - even though I had no contact with my birth parents for 19 years. I'm interested in corresponding with other adoptees to hear their thoughts and experiences on the nature vs. nurture debate. Feel free to reply or email me at dj70s@yahoo.com

Thanks

just wanted to say that although i havent yet met my birthparents and compared my own nature v nuture situation, i would love to hear more about yours and what kind of biological personality traits you inherited. this is a topic that i find facinating.

[debsdone]

I have an interesting nature/nurture situation. I am divorced and re:married. My son was 1 when his "father" and I ivorced and he was about 6 when the contact dwindled down to almost nothing. It had previously been about 1 weekend every couple months, shared with his 2 sisters and the new baby at his dad's. Now, at 19, he has not seen his dad in5 years. He is adopted by stepdad and quite happy. Thing is, he is EXACTLY like my ex! Not only does he look like him, he likes the same jokes, and makes the same gestures, and ever watches the same tv stuff. (Like Monty Python and older stuff) I sometimes feel like I am living with both my husbands at the same time! LOL Just an interesting, (i think) tidbit! Debi

[alcrmcc]

Debi, I have the same problem. My son is only 10 and hasn't had much of a relationship with his father in the past 6 years, hasn't seen him in the past 2 and I swear the kid is an exact replica of his dad. Let's just hope that the real bad seeds don't pop through. It is intereting to see how much someone can resemble a parent, kind of like the twins raised apart. I have identical twin boys so have some experience in twinship too.

[ashlam]

I also find the nature vs. nurture very interesting! I am looking forward to finding out if I have any traits like my bmother. I am a lot like my adoptive mother, but we are so different in other ways too. I wonder if those differences are similarities with my bmom. Just some thoughts I have had. I would love to hear about others' experiences.

Melissa

[FatBirdy]

I have met my bmom and I was very surprised at the similarities we share...not just in our looks but our actions. We both are very fidgity and do the same foot movement thing on the same foot, we get anxious at the same things and like and dislike most of the same foods, we also have freakishly similar life paths re: schooling, breaks, jobs, the cars we drive.....it's amazing. We also have very similar names (my parents didn't know hers) and we have brothers with the same names who we both lived with at the same age in our respective lives. Weird.

[gabriella]

It is so amazing how both the biological template, and the environmental acquired traits intertwine so beautifully to create the being we become. My full biological sister is two years older and was adopted by a different family than I was. She found our birth parents, and then found me. So, not only do I have my own nature vs. nurture to analyze, I also see a ton of both from her. We both have relationships with both parents, and with each other, and we have met each other's adoptive families, so there are many traits and characteristics that constantly remind us that we are full biological siblings, and many that painfully remind us that we were separated for 35 years. I am always intrigued by our biological responses the most. The adoptive parts always seem expected but when we act like our birth father or birth mother, it always shocks me. The similarities to people that you never knew your whole life, always brings a jolt of reality that the natural and innate responses to life, had to be altered so that we could adapt to our new environments. We both had very good childhoods, and solid families, but we both grew up feeling different and a little bit detached. It keeps the pain from infiltrating.