[velly]

Hi

I am looking for fellow adoptees in UK. I love reading the experiences of the members on the forum, and they all give great advice, but the system is a bit different from here in the UK.

I hope i'm not offending anyone from the States, and i hope you dont remove me from the site, but it would be great if anyone from the UK could give some experiences and insight into our system.

thank you
(again, i dont want to offend anyone, and i hope you will still reply to any posts i do, and to continue with the invaluable advice)

[caths1964]

Velly, I am sending you a PM re other site you might like

[SOGC]

OOh can u forward it to me 2 please

I am a fellow UK adoptee. I am 26 and have recently reunited with nearly all my bfamily. Only one yet to meet is bmum eeeek.

[Vegas]

I'm in the UK as well.

Anyone in London?

[SOGC]

I am in Essex so not far from London

[HOOKEDUP]

I am an adult adoptee from Australia.

I am 57 years of age and only a few years ago found out I was adopted.

Both my adoptee parents and my birth parents are deceased and have been fo some time.

In Aus in 1953, adoption rules and guidlines were very different from today.

I too would like to here from anyone in Aus who may be of the same age group as myself.

Respectfully submitted.

Paul.

[caths1964]

Hooked up: I'm Australian too (NZ born with Australian bparents)

I am a bit younger though, born 1964; however, I suspect that attitudes were fairly similar to 1953.

How did you find out you were adopted? I've known all my life.

Vegas: I lived in UK for a few years in the mid 80s, in Neasden (as a secretary and dirt poor lol) and Kensington (as a nanny/housekeeper).

[HOOKEDUP]

Hi caths1964.

I found out I was adopted by accident.

From a lady who was researching my family name. I am the last of my line, so I was able to help her a lot and pass on all my adoptee fathers lineage. Some time later she revealed I was actually adopted and not a blood relative.
Shock to me and my journey since has been the biggest challenge of my life, and it never seems to stop.

Yours.

Paul.

[velly]

hi everyone, sorry not been online, but had operation friday, so only just got the chance to use laptop.(plus its my eldest daughters laptop and its half term, she holds on to this thing like the olympic torch!)

Socg, i will send you a pm with the uk website, caths may have already sent it to you, but i'll send it anyway. i havent actually gone on it yet. So you just have your bmum left, bet thats scary!!!! Tell us your story, as long as you feel comfortable with it.

I'm from liverpool. I dont know if any of you have read my posts, but i've just started the search, got my adoption file. And now its just waiting for the organisation to begin the search.....

Jane

[velly]

hi hookedup

I cant imagine what it must have felt like, finding out you were adopted by accident. Like caths, i've known all my life. How old were you when you found out, and were your adopted parents alive? Have you been able to find any bfamily?

jane

[HOOKEDUP]

Hi Velly,

As I said, I found out only by accident.

Both my adoted parents had been deceased for some years when I found out I was adoted.

Both my birth parents were also deceased.

I have found and met a birth aunt and a birth uncle, both of them new of my existance, but because of the laws of 1953, could never find me.
I have also now met some 1/2 brothers and sisters.
I am not allowed, by law to contact any of my birth fathers family, because his name was not on my birth certificate. As was the case with unmarried mothers in that era.
I know I have some relatives from my birth father, but I cannot do anything about that.

Yours.

Paul.

[SOGC]

Hey everyone

Heres my story....I am 26 and recently split up with boyf of 7 yrs shut down a big part of my business and moved back home temporarily.....so for some reason I suddenly felt ready to search. I also was doing a lot of thinking at this time so think I kinda wanted to figure out more about me. My search was short especially as an aunt on bdads side had been in touch a few years before (i wrote back once). So I went on genes reunited and put in bmums details and up popped my aunt (bmums sister). I messaged her and heard back after a day or so saying she was so surprised but glad to hear from me and that we needed to meet so we could work out best way to contact bmum. So a couple of weeks later I went to meet 2 aunts and 1 uncle in a pub. These were the first relatives I met and were all lovely and filled me in on quite a few things....my bmum had some recent health issues and also had 2 kids so I have 1 half brother and 1 half sister I hadn't thought would exist . One of them said they would contact her to let her know and we could go from there. This took some time as they aren't close and in the end I was passed on her e-mail address so I sent a message. In the meantime I wrote (through SS) to aunt (bdads side) and after asking about my bdad she asked if I wanted him to know I had been in touch and I agreed...he e-mailed instantly which then lead to us meeting for the first time

Since this time I have met him on a few occasions including spending my birthday with him and also meeting his daughter (my half sister). I have also met aunt and some cousins and more recently my uncle. So a LOT of relatives. This came as a bit of a surprise as I hadn't envisioned so many people.

Currently I am waiting for the right time to meet bmum. I feel ready now but she wants to be feeling well and together for when we meet. She seems quite worried about getting everything nice and ready for my visit and is desperate not to dissappoint me.

She put me up for adoption aged three (although I did 2 stints of foster care before then). From what I know she tried her hardest to cope with being a mother but had a very troubled traumatic childhood and suffered from depression at the time.

Anyway sorry about length of post tried to keep it brief lol

Sogc

[caths1964]

Hookedup,

I'm sure there is no law against contacting your bfather's family (unless it is a Tasmanian one). A person can contact anyone they like. Most Australian adoptees of our era (in fact most adoptees anywhere of our era - I was actually born in NZ) would not have had their bfather listed on the certificate. So if you know his name and where his bfamily are, there should be no reason why you can't contact him. If he was married when you were conceived, you might need to be sensitive about it but that is the only stumbling block.

I am attaching a link for Origins Tasmania (if you haven't seen it already) which has some stories.

About Adoption Origins Tasmania

SOGC - I hope everything goes well with all your reunions. It sounds like they are all enjoying meeting you as much as you are enjoying meeting them.

[HOOKEDUP]

Hi caths1964,

Thanks for your response.
You are correct ofcourse, we can contact anyone we like.
But without being on a birth certificate, the only evidence I have of who my birth father is, is a statement from my birth mother, to the centre she was sent to before I was born. That and the evidence of where she was working and for whom she was working, allowed me to put the pieces together.
No my birth father was not married at the time, but I do feel it would be stressful to a family if I were to introduce myself without legal proof of who I am.

I am sure you can understand my predicament, in not wishing to upset this family.

Thanks for the link.

SOGC. Thanks for the story. I hope your meeting goes well for you.

Paul.

[caths1964]

Hi Paul,
I do understand your predicament. As you say, with his having passed away and having no proof that he is your bfather, it would be hard to know whether to make contact.

I was just replying to the fact that you said that you were not allowed by law to contact the family, that was all. BtwI don't know who my own bfather is but if I do find out, I will be very respectful towards his situation just as I was with my bmother's family (they had no idea I existed as my bmother died quite young but they have been wonderful).