[priscilla_garcia_]

well hey guys

im about to have my second baby in 2 months and this is a hard time for me because i have just really started my relationship with my birthfather

but i dont know how to really handle this situation because i now have my adad and bdad in my life and i dont want to leave one of them out of the picture....

my adad is amazing and has been there for me when i had my first son and now with my bdad bein around idk wat to do

both are my childrens grandfathers but who do i have them call grandpa

do i have them call my adad grandpa or my bdad grandpa

adding my bdad to my family has been great but its also brought on new challenges

[BrandyHagz]

Most kids have 2 grandpa's anyway - mom's dad and dad's dad - I'm not sure why you feel you need to pick one. Can't they both me grandpa?

My son has several grandma's (birth mom, amom, smom, my ow grandma, who he calls grandma and even my amoms twin sister (who is my aunt) is also grandma).

If it feels right for both (as it seems it does, since you're asking) why not use it for both?

Or some variation.

Grandpa and Granddad or Grandpa and PaPa.

Do what works for YOU

[priscilla_garcia_]

and im kinda scared on having my bdad in my kids life because i am still getting to know him myself...after bein away for 18 years of my life i still find it hard for me to call my bdad my father....


i never thought i would have to think about this and now that it is here its deff a challenge

[Dickons]

You have to do what feels right for you and not worry about how your bdad may feel in terms of how your kids will address him.

Personally I would chose an alternative name like poppa because it would be easier to keep who's who straight as well as respecting your dad. But it has to be what is right for you.

Kind regards,
Dickons

[sheababy]

If they both feel like a grandpa to the kids, I would let them both be called grandpa. When you need to distinguish them, grandpa s and grandpa g.

[BethVA62]

We have a Grandad, a Grandpa and my father inlaw was Papaw

Sure is nice to have lots of different nicknames for grandfathers.

I remember when I had my kids, I hadn't found my bio family yet, but all the grandparents chose the Grand name they wanted to be known as.

Then the kids got old enough to talk and called them what they are called now. Becasue of me when I was a baby and not being able to talk so well yet, my poor grandfather lived with Dadoo as his nick name, and loved it.

My friends just chose Granny and Grumpy for their grandkid to refer to them as... and it fits very well LOL

When I met my bio dad my son was about 6, I asked him and he chose to call him Grandpa, 9 years later it's morphed into Gpa. Which must sound better to him when saying: Wasssup Gpa. My son can do no wrong with either of his buddies (grandfathers)...

I understand the feeling priscilla, it's hard enough for us to meet and get to know our biofamily members, then to throw our kids into the boat too! - lots to worry about. It took a long time for me to find trust to allow my kids to visit and then eventually stay with my bio dad. Now I have few worries, well, just regular mom worries

My son stayed with his grandpa for about 4 weeks this summer, without me, and I had to make him come home! I always have to reprogram him tho, he comes home spoiled rotten and for some reason thinks I will wait on him like Grandma does... buahahahahaaa

I think one thing I did years before I found my bio family helped me in a big way with the grandfather naming thing with my son. I named my son after my Adad, (adad suggested while I was pregnant and thinking of names, that I choose a name of someone I admired and wanted him to be like... ) so I think it kind of helped A LOT with my fear of being unloyal and helped my adad deal too.

I don't know what advice to give, other than to just ask your dads and your kids (when you can) what they think about it all. Cause it's really up to all of them, and maybe not so much us.

[priscilla_garcia_]

thanks

my son is a year and a half and is starting to talk more than he was when i first met my bdad

and i always take my son with me when i go to visit him and my son will go to him and has gotten used to him but when i had him to my bdad its weird cuz idk wat to call him so my son knows who he is...(my bsisters well are my sons aunts)...that was easy for me to call them that

but i feel like now if i tell my son to call my bdad grandpa it will make my adad feel left out,..and that is the last thing i want to do...because he has helped me through it all

never thought i would really find my bdad and have a realtionship with him but now that i know him i want him to be around my kids too but not sure how to make it all work....its all happened so fast

[BethVA62]

Originally Posted by priscilla_garcia_

thanks

my son is a year and a half and is starting to talk more than he was when i first met my bdad

and i always take my son with me when i go to visit him and my son will go to him and has gotten used to him but when i had him to my bdad its weird cuz idk wat to call him so my son knows who he is...(my bsisters well are my sons aunts)...that was easy for me to call them that

but i feel like now if i tell my son to call my bdad grandpa it will make my adad feel left out,..and that is the last thing i want to do...because he has helped me through it all

never thought i would really find my bdad and have a realtionship with him but now that i know him i want him to be around my kids too but not sure how to make it all work....its all happened so fast

I'm guessing you call your bdad by his first name? So maybe when talking to your son, just put grandpa in front of his first name for now? Does your bdad have other grandkids?

What does your adad want to be called? I remember fretting over it too. Cause it's a really wierd feeling, and it's hard to talk about, but eventually I asked my adad what he thought about it.
Since then, I've asked adad about everything LOL talking with him always makes me feel better, cause as hard as I try, I never guess right about how he really feels. I seem to worry about these things far more than he does!

[priscilla_garcia_]

i do call my bdad by his first name and i have told my bdad that i dont really feel comforatble calling him dad yet because im still getting used to him being around

my adad since the first day i had my son would hold my son and say hi im grandpa....and anytime i c my adad and my son is with me im always saying "go to grandpa, look theres grandpa"

but i feel weird about all of this now

with having my daughter in 2 months idk what anyone should be called...my boyfriends mom and dad are papa and mama (i call my bf mom "mom" so my son kinda started to call her mama as well)

but i dont want eaither of my fathers to feel left out