[SuzySSunshine]

I'm curious to know how others felt about heritage assignments during school - things like family trees, write a report about your country of origin, etc...

As a child both of these assignments were part of my elementary school experience. I have never understand objections to family trees because of adoption though I do feel that family trees that involve proscribed templates are a horrible idea in general because many people do not have cookie cutter families with a mother, father, grandparents etc... But as an adoptee it never seemed odd to put my family's tree on paper.

The country of origin thing was a little different but that may have been because we didn't have any strong ethnic or national heritage and so there was very little to write. It wasn't that I felt adoption made my family's heritage any less my own just that our heritage was kind of lame and didn't involve any good costumes!

But as my child completes these assignments I am curious to know how the rest of you felt about them.

How was it for you?

[hpfreak080]

Honestly, I didn't have any problem putting my (adoptive) family tree on paper either. It never occurred to me to think of anything different to be honest.

As far as family trees go, I still have no problem with it as they are still my family (I haven't reunited or anything but if I did, maybe it would just be a bigger tree lol).

I actually don't remember doing heritage assignments (not to say there weren't any, I just don't remember them).

Anyway, good question. I look forward to hearing other people's responses =)

[jwmjwm]

I did the family tree assignments in school, too, and just traced my adoptive family. It never occurred to me that this would not be the thing to do. In fact, I had a huge tree, because some relative had traced my (adoptive) dad's family back to the 1600s!

If I were to do it now that I know my bio family and ancestry ... that is an interesting question. Which is my heritage? Both? I guess I would need a large sheet of paper!

[SuzySSunshine]

Admittedly part of the reason I've asked the question is that I never thought there was any challenge/confusion of any kind surrounding the family tree assignment and was pretty much baffled when someone asked me what my child (who was adopted) is going to do when he completes his family tree.

Um.... put his family on it?

Seems pretty simple to me, whether you're in an open or closed adoption you draw a tree that has your family on it! We included his foster family in Korea but I had to wedge them in there because the kids had to work on a form with all the standard relatives called out and no room for 'extras'.

[jwmjwm]

Oh! I just remembered an assignment we had once in science class - we had to look for genetic traits in our family (attached/detached earlobes, eye color, etc.) Obviously that one was hard for me to complete! :-)

[SuzySSunshine]

At least you knew that the people in your family were not biologically related! I would hate to uncover a family indiscretion during the earlobe survey!

[FAYE56]

It's funny, my son's heritage assignment wasn't about a "family Tree", we live in NJ so the teacher assumed that everyone came through Ellis Island. Now I knew my son's father's family had to come through there but, we're divorced, he has minimal if any contact with his family, so we had nothing from him.

My Dad on the other hand we had lots of information and pictures. So we made a book of Stephen with a list of generations. Oh yea, my Dad's family came in from Canada as well as my Mom's - so there was no Ellis Island.

Now, I have at least 1 - 50+ page family tree from my Bmom's side, yet, if I had to do the assignment all over again, I think I would do it the same way. My Parents are my "family" and that's who my children grew up with.

My bsiblings and I are slowly getting to know each other and since we live in very different States, NJ, OK & TX, it makes connecting a very slow process.

My kids are happy for me but they don't have that same "desire/need" that I have. Bmom won't tell me who my bfather is so, that's a dead end.

[hpfreak080]

Originally Posted by jwmjwm

Oh! I just remembered an assignment we had once in science class - we had to look for genetic traits in our family (attached/detached earlobes, eye color, etc.) Obviously that one was hard for me to complete! :-)

I had to do something like this in biology in high school. It was a group project (with like 9 parts) about genetics and stuff. I just told my group I would take the first three parts, not realizing one was about which traits you inherited by your parents. It wasn't a big deal or anything though, I just passed it off to a friend and did something else.

I've never had any shame (or felt any pain) in being adopted so stuff like that doesn't bother me so much I guess.

[hpfreak080]

Suzy, I agree with you about the "put your family on your family tree." To me, it's definitely as obvious as it seems. For some adoptees, this will include bfamily, for others it won't. No big thing. The kid will just put on the family tree who they consider family and put them however they fit lol

[ripples]

Originally Posted by SuzySSunshine

I would hate to uncover a family indiscretion during the earlobe survey!

I didn't have the geneology assignment but do recall in biology class when they'd covered the topic of hybrid genes, it didn't bother me at all. Since I was already open about being adopted, (like, how can a transracial adoptee hide the fact that he or she is not adopted) I probably would have said the truth - ie. that I'm not biologically related and that my adoptive family share the following genes, etc;

If it was simply a matter of drawing a family tree without having to get earlobe samples, etc; I would have drawn a picture of me and my adopted family. I actually do recall discussing with my cousing about my adoptive family's family history and had always felt that that was my family tree.

BTW - I'm curious as to why you'd hate to uncover a family indiscretion during the earlobe survey? Or were you just kidding?

[SuzySSunshine]

Originally Posted by ripples

I didn't have the geneology assignment but do recall in biology class when they'd covered the topic of hybrid genes, it didn't bother me at all. Since I was already open about being adopted, (like, how can a transracial adoptee hide the fact that he or she is not adopted) I probably would have said the truth - ie. that I'm not biologically related and that my adoptive family share the following genes, etc;

If it was simply a matter of drawing a family tree without having to get earlobe samples, etc; I would have drawn a picture of me and my adopted family. I actually do recall discussing with my cousing about my adoptive family's family history and had always felt that that was my family tree.

BTW - I'm curious as to why you'd hate to uncover a family indiscretion during the earlobe survey? Or were you just kidding?

What I mean is that there are any number of legends about kids who discover that mother has committed an indiscretion when they complete a genetic trait survey in high school and Dad's results don't quite add up!

I tend to think they are largely fictional, which makes the idea pretty funny. I suppose it wouldn't be that comical if it actually happened.

[ripples]

Originally Posted by SuzySSunshine

What I mean is that there are any number of legends about kids who discover that mother has committed an indiscretion when they complete a genetic trait survey in high school and Dad's results don't quite add up!

I tend to think they are largely fictional, which makes the idea pretty funny. I suppose it wouldn't be that comical if it actually happened.

I'm not familiar with the legends or how fictional they are. However, given how prolific extramarital affairs are (see excerpts below), I wonder just how fictional these occurrences are. Imagine the squirming that the parents go through knowing that their child is doing the genetic-trait test. Imagine the irony if little Billy found out that his biology teacher is actually his biological father!

Excerpt from allaboutlifechallenges.org:
"Conservative estimates are that 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an extramarital affair."

Excerpt from Family University:
"60% of men and 40% of women will have an extramarital affair.

The Kinsey Report in the 1940s and 1950s showed that by age 40, 50% of the men had had an extramarital affair. The Kinsey Report showed that by age 40, 26% of the men had had an extramarital affair.
The Hite Report on Male Sexuality of 1980 found that 72% of men married two years or more had had an extramarital affair. Shere Hite's 1987 survey of women found that 70% of women married five years or more had had an extramarital affair."

I also remember hearing the manager of a brothel once saying that half their clients are married men.

[BethanyB]

I am a teacher and the problem with family trees is that many children are given a family tree with spaces for mother, father and so on. Now some kids don't have a father in their lives. Some kids have two mothers. Some have two dads. I would not have a problem with a family tree that left the family member section open or a family tree project where several family tree worksheet were sent home and children could choose which family tree best suits their family.

As far as projects concerning heritage...some kids don't want to use their aparents nationality. Some kids would have a hard time doing that, such as transracial adoptions. My son is AA and I'm CC. I would not feel comfortable having him say he has Irish and German roots.

In the school district I teach in, we also have an "Immigration Day" where the children have to create a family tree and list their country of origin. Again, some don't know and can't put their aparents due to the race issue. And some AA's don't know which country they come from due to slavery. Africa is a continent - not a country. And AA's did not travel here through Ellis Island.

I have no problem with these activities or celebrations as long as they make them so that ALL kids can do them successfully. It can be done but sadly not all teachers want to change what they have been doing. Not all teachers feel that they should have to due to the minority.

[ripples]

BethanyB,
Very well said. FYI - the Evan B Donaldson Adoption Institute wrote an excellent research paper titled, "Adoption in the Schools: A Lot to Learn. Promoting Equality and Fairness for All Children and their Families" Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute and it does discuss this heritage assignment and other education issues that are not fully inclusive of the diversity of families that exist today.

While I recognise that the heritage assignment wasn't an issue for me, I have heard from other adoptees, particularly teenagers who are already grappling with identity issues, that the assignment is upsetting. I can imagine that also for many kids who are in single parent families that the family tree issue may be quite distressing and upsetting.

Unfortunately minorities have to continue to endure while the majority of society continues to dismiss minority people's experiences as too much hassle to address.

[SuzySSunshine]

Originally Posted by BethanyB

I am a teacher and the problem with family trees is that many children are given a family tree with spaces for mother, father and so on. Now some kids don't have a father in their lives. Some kids have two mothers. Some have two dads. I would not have a problem with a family tree that left the family member section open or a family tree project where several family tree worksheet were sent home and children could choose which family tree best suits their family.

As far as projects concerning heritage...some kids don't want to use their aparents nationality. Some kids would have a hard time doing that, such as transracial adoptions. My son is AA and I'm CC. I would not feel comfortable having him say he has Irish and German roots.

In the school district I teach in, we also have an "Immigration Day" where the children have to create a family tree and list their country of origin. Again, some don't know and can't put their aparents due to the race issue. And some AA's don't know which country they come from due to slavery. Africa is a continent - not a country. And AA's did not travel here through Ellis Island.

I have no problem with these activities or celebrations as long as they make them so that ALL kids can do them successfully. It can be done but sadly not all teachers want to change what they have been doing. Not all teachers feel that they should have to due to the minority.

I could not agree more. The family tree template my child received came directly from a chain education store. Quite frankly, I had always thought the point of the family tree assignment was to grasp the concept of a family tree and be able to produce one independently. In addition to promoting the notion of cookie cutter families in a day and age when that just is not the case, the Family Tree Template shortchanges the students and is a really lazy way to blow off the lesson.

Heritage/Country of Origin/Immigration is also really interesting. It seems to me that a child who is basically the same race as her parents and who was born in the US, taking on their nationality would not be a problem but as I mentioned earlier my family didn't have any strong national identity. I remember that each of us with out a very Italian or German or Irish family felt shortchanged because we really didn't have anything to write about - well you just pick one but it really isn't a part of your lifestyle. However if a child is of another race and/or adopted internationally it seems clear that she should write about her country of origin or select a representative one if she doesn't know.

Any way you slice it, it seems clear that giving the option to choose a country that interests the student and not forcing a personal connection to it is a far better way to discuss immigration and world cultures.

Can you help the rest of us understand why teachers seem so reluctant to make these simple changes? I am the sort of parent who sits back and watches these things but would never bring them up to the teacher. I wonder if the school staff has any idea that they never hear about most dissatisfaction...