[Max7591]

I've often heard the terms "floating" and "lack of gravity" tossed around by adoption books. Over the last couple of days I've sensed this really awkward feeling and I'm not quite sure if this is what's meant by "floating" and was hoping someone might know.

It's kinda hard to describe and put into words, actually. But, it kinda feels like I'm flying, elevated just slightly off of the ground, with nothing holding me back. It's like letting go of a balloon, only catch is - I'm the balloon. Maybe part of it is feeling disconnected? But, I still feel connected to my parents. Maybe, not as often as before, but something's still there - I know that.

So, I was just wondering if anyone else has had this experience. I don't know if it's because I'm an adoptee or finally growing up, could be a mixture of both, could all be in my head, could be nothing. I don't know. But, figured it'd be better to ask.

[bakerjw]

There are 2 types of floating that come to mind.

One is when us adoptees are "up in the air" during a search. Usually it has to do with when an agency is doing all of the work for us and we have to wait for crumbs of information to be fed to us by those with our lives in their hands. Our lives are up in the air during this time. Right now that is how I feel. a year into a search with only a couple of letters telling me that they sent letters, yadda yadda yadda. It is my central focus right now.

The second is when a reunion or contact is imminent. It is part of the roller coaster ride that we all take when starting a reunion. I am still on the waiting platform and hope to take the ride someday. I only dread that they may close the ride before it is my turn. If I get a letter, CC never calls it is always letters, saying that they heard back from my bmother then I certainly will be floating for a few days until anticipation overcomes joy and I start the downhill ride before hopefully going up again.

Just my take.

[loveis]

I get that floating feeling but I never really understood it until reunion and starting therapy. I have been told by two different therapists that I am not grounded and people who are adopted aren't necessarily grounded because they were seprerated from their bmoms at birth. Never had a chance to be grounded. Now I KNOW that ALL adoptees don't feel this way so no need to jump in and let me know what I am saying doesn't effect you, it may or may not. It effects me, I have never really felt grounded, I feel closer to being grounded since meeting my bmom though. I have also heard that adoptees may suffer from add or adhd, I feel I fall into the adhd category, again comes from not being grounded.

So YES I get what you are saying totally, does it effect all, no, but it effected us!

I have always felt kind of out there, now I am feeling much more not out there (if that makes sense) since I met my bmom.

I also have felt disconnected my whole life, again, after meeting bmom I am feeling more connected but hard to get there after all of these years of not feeling that way. I feel it effects me in so many ways to feel this way, I am trying to overcome, to be who I am, I will get there but it is not easy.

I connected with my bmom so easily and quickly it was pretty surreal, it was the connection I think I was looking for and waiting for my whole life. Now if anyone had told me that I would have felt that way before I met her I would have told them they were INSANE!!! HA HA! But it is so true.

Right there with you!

[white_elephant]

Never knew others felt this way too. Glad to know I'm not the only one.

No hope presently of reunion, and all respective "parents" have isolated themselves into silent denial that I have a bio mom and dad.


Having said that, I'm glad you posted this because unless someone else has the same strange sensations we do, how are we supposed to know that others don't have this feeling?

It's really noticable when I am on my motorcycle! I think I'll just enjoy it...don't think it's going away any time soon in my case.

[Max7591]

Originally Posted by loveis

I connected with my bmom so easily and quickly it was pretty surreal, it was the connection I think I was looking for and waiting for my whole life.

I'm going to start searching in a couple of years. My adoptive parents want me to hold off. But, it's hard though - because once everything came to the surface... it's kinda a surreal "pull" that I feel towards my birth mom.

It's like I've been lassoed by this rope and my birth side's pulling me towards it, I want to go to it, I feel like it's the strongest pull I've ever felt - but the adoptive side is holding me back, at least for a couple years...

Maybe that pull can account for some of it. Not that I've met my birth mother yet or know what her reaction will be - she did give me a name though - but, I do feel a pull that I can't explain. I can't tell if it was triggered by something or if it's just part of my natural development. I just know it's there.

Maybe the "pull" could explain why it feels like I can lift off the ground at times...

[austin0i]

I feel the pull as well.

I am 2 years into reunion, and I am constantly drawn to my bmom.

Our relationship is developing and we are making our way. Even when we have our dips, I am still drawn to her. Even when I feel hurt or anger, I am still drawn to her. When time goes by and I have not connected with her, I miss her.

I feel the pull as well.

I connected with her right off the bat. My insides knew her. The connection was there immediately and it is unbreakable and unconditional. The bond is there and there is no denying it.


K

[margret2]

I have had the feeling and never knew what it was, or where it came from, or why I felt it...