[lacymarie]

I am currently making a come back from some sort of depression that I feel started with the rejection I received from one of my biological sisters, coupled with a few other life situations. I believe I have inadvertently stumbled across a picture of my sister. This makes me want to reach out again, but I won't. Her being non cooperative, and an A@# hole about the whole thing is not worth the small bit of energy that I have left. The feelings that I have been feeling lately lead me to believe that I have every right to at least voice my feelings to her and her amom in a letter. I have been struggling with bottling so many things inside and finally I have had the chance to vent a few of them,except for this whole amom being a Witch toward me upon a successful search as well as my bsister suggesting to me that I made her feel "raped" by finding her. I never got the oppportunity to express anything in rebuttal to their accusations. Someone please either help boost my confidence to do it or give me advise not to

[Dickons]

Lacymarie,

I am sorry you are hurting. Rejection by family is so incredibly cruel, yet they cannot see that. If they could, unless they were horrible people, they would never do it. I have also been rejected.

I am also sorry that your mom is upset as well. Having a relationship where you want to share your excitement, and then have your mom react badly must hurt very much.

I think you should write your letters in a journal, but I do not think sending to them based on the info you have provided, will do any good and possibly more damage.

Kind regards,
Dickons

[lacymarie]

I appreciate your response. I will GREATLY consider it. Its not my mom however. Its my bsister's amom.
Your advice is GREAT!!! Thank you so much.

[cksmom]

Just knowing that there are others experiencing the very same treatment and rejection is comforting to me. Maybe it will help you too. Lacey, this isn't about YOU as a person. it's the situation and based on their insecurities and resistence to change. Because really, how can you intelligently reject someone that you don't know? You can't.

HUGS!!!

[EZ2Luv]

Let me first offer you ((HUGS)) Rejection sux and I understand you are hurting. When I found my bsibs I was met with rejection too except for one who turned out to be taking advantage of me(I found out she was a heroin addict) Anyhow I severed that relationship. This left me with an aunt who always went out of her way to be extra cruel to me all my life. She made an effort to exclude me from everything even as a little girl. After finding the bios I realized that this was her reason for being mean to me. I immediately felt a letter was in order and began writing. After finishing the letter I felt liberated. I thought about it for a while and asked myself if it was really worth actually sending the letter. I decided against mailing it for a couple of reasons. First, she obviously felt this way and no letter was going to change her mind or feelings. Second, my letter was so heartfelt and I was bearing my heart with someone that couldn't care less about me. Third, why should I allow my innermost feelings be a sourse of her entertainment (because she wasn't going to take this serious anyway and she would most likely read it to her daughter and laugh). Lastly, there was always the possibility that she would tear it up without even reading it. There are so many other reasons but off the top of my head those are a few that come to mind.

Sometimes just writing something out and reading it is enough to make you feel better and it was actually healing for me to do that. From the sound of it the amom sounds much like my aunt. In the long run they are the ones missing out on a wonderful person. Also, ask yourself if this was not you bsis, would chose these kind of people as friends? I don't think so. I asked myself this question and realized that this aunt and bsibs were not worthy of my friendship or relationship.

Sorry for the long post, but I do understand where you are at, I really do. I pray you are able to find peace.

EZ

[Amandak249]

I too have experienced sibling rejection, and it truly has been one of the most painful experiences of my life. I really feel for you, and I can only advise you to do whats best for YOU. And only you. My situation, and I'm sure yours is the same, was so complicated. There are no easy answers. From your post, I assume that you are a ...birth family member? Or where you adopted as well?

I'm a 20 year old adoptee who had to cut off all contact with bfamilly because of bsister's cruelty and immaturity. Though it was indeed a very painful and agonizing decision, I made the choice that was best for me. Period. And you know what? I feel better. I took control of the situation. You too sound like you are at the end of your rope, and all I can do is advise you to really take a look at the situation and see how it is affecting you. Everyone is probably hurting, but you can only look out for yourself.