[Research09]

Hi. I just want to start by saying I'm not planning to adopt, nither am I adopted. I simply need some good information that I'm hoping maybe some people here might be able to help with.

I'll start by introducing myself, and by giving you the reason why I need this information.

So, my name is Brett. I'm 21 years old, and I'm currently planning on writing my first screenplay (of which I've been finding it hard to come up with an idea I wanted to use). I finally settled on an idea, but I've not even began to plan yet until I can get past this hurdle.

Basically, I have this character who is 69 years old. He lives his life alone, and his life is full of monotony and he has very few friends. But surprisingly, he's not bitter.

His reason for not having family is not clear to me yet, but simply put, he never got around to having children, despite his great desire (shared with his wife).

Now onto the difficult part which is where I'm completely out of understanding. I want this character to have a baby come into his life, kind of a clash of ages thing, the old and the new etc...basically this baby gives his remaining years real meaning, more than his life has ever had. And in return, this baby gets a nice stable enviroment to grow up in with someone who really cares for him/her (as having a child was always a desire for our elderly character).

So, here goes. I've not yet figured out how this baby gets into the life of this man. So I'm going to ask some questions that I hope some people can help me with.

1). If this man were to want to adopt a baby, at his age, and being a potential only-parent, regardless of how stable his life is, would he have a chance of adopting a child to take care of?. Bare in mind, he has no physical or mental illness, so nothing that could affect his taking care of this baby.

2). Is there some kind of way that if, say for example an unknown family member (or maybe a friend/friends of his) dies leaving behind their child. If something were written in their will explaining who they would like to take care of their baby if something should happen to them, would our eldarly main character be able to take over all legal parental roles of this child?, or would the baby go to a foster family? Assuming ofcourse, that the main character is the name written into the will.

I hope I've explained this clear enough, and I hope this post is suitable for these forums. It seemed like the most obvious place for me to come and gather information regarding my lack of understanding on the subject.

Thanks for any help in answering the above questions in advance. If due to your replies, anymore question are raised, I'll be sure to ask for further clarity.

Cheers .

[BethVA62]

1). If this man were to want to adopt a baby, at his age, and being a potential only-parent, regardless of how stable his life is, would he have a chance of adopting a child to take care of?. Bare in mind, he has no physical or mental illness, so nothing that could affect his taking care of this baby.

OMG I HOPE NOT!!!! LOL It typically takes 15 -20 years for a baby human to become an independant grown human. Your guy would be around 90? if are you looking for a happy ending story, not sure how this could be one?


2). Is there some kind of way that if, say for example an unknown family member (or maybe a friend/friends of his) dies leaving behind their child. If something were written in their will explaining who they would like to take care of their baby if something should happen to them, would our eldarly main character be able to take over all legal parental roles of this child?, or would the baby go to a foster family? Assuming ofcourse, that the main character is the name written into the will.

poor kid.



Thought I'd share a true real story with you, might help I dunno.

Once upon a time there was a married
man in his late 60's, one day he got a very interesting phone call.

A lovely woman, after sharing names on the phone, stated to this man: "I have reason to believe you are my father"
He was shocked, and asked what made her think that he was her father?

She replied: My mother told me you were my father.

He was flabbergasted. He was afraid to mention it to his wife until he was certain, didn't want to hurt her feelings.
So they arranged a DNA test and waited patiently (yeah right, they managed to wait for the results without falling off the edge into insanity)

It's true!!!!! He is the dad, she is his daughter. He was sad that he had missed her life, missed her growing up, missed being able to love his daughter, and to know her love for him.

Her mother hadn't told him she was pregnant, the people that were helping her with placing her child for adoption told her, and her parents, not to tell the father so he couldn't interfere with the adoption.

The second the daughter was born, she was wisked away from her mother and waited three months in foster care until she was placed with her new family. The daughter, began her search for her mother and father when she was 18. She did not locate them for over 20 years, due to the secrecy in adoption. So at 40, she finally got to knock on her fathers door, and just weeks later she found her mother behind another door. She was exhausted, and so wanted a peaceful place to rest.

Once the man knew it was certain, he told his wife, who pretended to be mad at him, and made him sleep on the couch, and threatened to leave him if she found out he had dumped this girls mother for being pregnant, but secretly wasn't real mad, because she had always wanted a daughter too!

The day came soon, the daughter made the trip for the first visit, she knocked on the door and as the man answered, she shoved her young son in his arms and said: "I'd like you to meet your grandson"

He fell to his knees sobbing, it startled the daughter, so he held her and his grandson there on the doorstep for quite a while. He can't think of a happier moment in his life. She couldn't believe that it was finally happening. And even though it was such a happy moment, all could still feel the pain of being separated for so long.

From then on they were very close, the man was so content with being surrounded by his family, the daughter was thrilled to be able to give her son what she did not have as a child. The wife was so happy to share and enjoy the new people in their lives..



I'd say The End, but this story is not over yet!!!!!!!!!! yay!!!!

[DianeS]

Originally Posted by Research09

2). Is there some kind of way that if, say for example an unknown family member (or maybe a friend/friends of his) dies leaving behind their child. If something were written in their will explaining who they would like to take care of their baby if something should happen to them, would our eldarly main character be able to take over all legal parental roles of this child?, or would the baby go to a foster family? Assuming ofcourse, that the main character is the name written into the will.

Yes. If this man is mentioned by name in someone's will as the intended guardian of their minor child, then when that person dies, the man assumes guardianship. If it's in the will, if no relative contests the will, and the man is agreeable, then that is what happens. Noone else would argue it.

Remember, grandparents of this age "inherit" their grandkids this way, and it's considered common and normal. So if this man "inherited" his younger brother's kids, or his cousin's kids, or something like that, it would certainly be in the realm of possibility.

Maybe even a non-relative - maybe a child he was kind to years ago had a baby, and when the lawyer suggested one of her/her parents in the will as guardians, she/he decided to put him instead, without contacting him first.

Or maybe the child is his grandchild, only he didn't know he had a child. The mom put his name on the birth certificate, and told the child, but never told him. So when the child grows up and gives birth, and dies, the family search done by the police/hospital turns up this man, and he's asked to take custody of the grandchild he never knew he had.

Or maybe you want drama - the man could be present at his neighbor's death. She has a seizure, or heart attack, and in the ambulance she asks the man to take care of her baby if she dies, because she never made a will. If no relatives show up to contest him taking guardianship, it would probably be granted to him, especially since there are witnesses to her asking him to do it.

Or what if the child isn't an orphan, but just left with him to care for? Someone he knows asks him to babysit for a day, and never comes back. She's alive, she contacts them occasionally, she even consents to give the man guardianship, but she never asks to have her child returned.

Anyway, just some ideas. Hope they help!

[Research09]

Originally Posted by BethVA62

1). If this man were to want to adopt a baby, at his age, and being a potential only-parent, regardless of how stable his life is, would he have a chance of adopting a child to take care of?. Bare in mind, he has no physical or mental illness, so nothing that could affect his taking care of this baby.

OMG I HOPE NOT!!!! LOL It typically takes 15 -20 years for a baby human to become an independant grown human. Your guy would be around 90? if are you looking for a happy ending story, not sure how this could be one?

The main character will live a long life . It'll all be backed up with additional research, he'll be near 101 years old. If the research falls through, I'll knock some years of the characters life from the point where he attains the child (around 65'ish).

And the story doesn't end well, but it's not bad either. The main character dies, but he dies peacefully with his grown son at his side. He dies happy knowing his remaining years were not meaningless, and that any life lessons he may have past on can possibly be passed on again to a younger generation. He dies knowing he will live on through someones memories.

A sad but sweet ending .

Also, neat story...It's odd though, it's as if I've seen sections of that story you told before in movies! just seems so familiar.

Thanks anyway .

[Research09]

Originally Posted by DianeS

Yes. If this man is mentioned by name in someone's will as the intended guardian of their minor child, then when that person dies, the man assumes guardianship. If it's in the will, if no relative contests the will, and the man is agreeable, then that is what happens. Noone else would argue it.

Remember, grandparents of this age "inherit" their grandkids this way, and it's considered common and normal. So if this man "inherited" his younger brother's kids, or his cousin's kids, or something like that, it would certainly be in the realm of possibility.

Maybe even a non-relative - maybe a child he was kind to years ago had a baby, and when the lawyer suggested one of her/her parents in the will as guardians, she/he decided to put him instead, without contacting him first.

That was helpful! thanks for that .

Originally Posted by DianeS

Or what if the child isn't an orphan, but just left with him to care for? Someone he knows asks him to babysit for a day, and never comes back. She's alive, she contacts them occasionally, she even consents to give the man guardianship, but she never asks to have her child returned.

This idea here hit me the second I woke up this morning. Well, near enough. Where basically, a child will get left with him, perhaps even against his own will by a very adamant parent claiming they desperately need to go do something, leaving him feeling like he has no choice. And then them simply not returning, I can think of a number of reasons why they wouldn't return.

But again, this raises a question for me. If he chooses to, after informing the right people ofcourse, could he become the legal gardian of this child?. I don't want the character to know what to feel initially...having a baby left with him at first feels too big a task for him. I want him to come to the point where he he has to make the choice of letting the baby go to a place of proper care, or keeping him.

Like for example, he informs the right people, arranges a date for them to pick the baby up from his home, but over the course of the 2/3 days of having him (would it take that long for the right people to get involved, or would the police take the baby in this situation?), he grows a bond just strong enough to, at the last moment, make the huge decision he would like to keep the baby, and raise him himself. Would this be possible?.

Thanks for the help you've already provided though .

[DianeS]

Originally Posted by Research09

Like for example, he informs the right people, arranges a date for them to pick the baby up from his home, but over the course of the 2/3 days of having him (would it take that long for the right people to get involved, or would the police take the baby in this situation?), he grows a bond just strong enough to, at the last moment, make the huge decision he would like to keep the baby, and raise him himself. Would this be possible?

Honestly, it depends on what the man himself wants. If he calls and says "X left her baby with me, she's now 6 hours overdue to pick him up, I don't want to care for baby anymore, come pick him up", then CPS (Child Protection Services, goes by different names in different places) would be there in a matter of minutes. They're not going to make someone care for a vulnerable, helpless infant who doesn't want to! It certainly would not take them 2-3 days to show up.

But remember, it is ALWAYS more difficult to get CPS out of your life than to get them in. You might be better off not involving them at all. They would not look kindly on an old man changing his mind, and might take the baby if the parent wasn't reachable, just because the man originally asked them to. That might be a hard situation to get your characters out of - putting the man through foster care classes, getting him certified, etc. Might as well just let him adopt in the first place, the legalities are just as hard to foster.

But on the other hand, if the man doesn't call them for a few days, they would never know about the baby. So they wouldn't come pick him up. And then you wouldn't have to wrestle with legalities, which vary greatly depending on country, state, county, etc at all.

What if he went through his decision process without calling anybody, at least for a good long while? What if he only had to decide what to do about this arrangment when he tried to do something with the child that required a parent/guardian signature, and he couldn't sign it because he was just the babysitter? What if he wanted to do something with the child that required a birth certificate, and he didn't have it? If the baby is just left with him like a babysitter, he couldn't sign for anything. He couldn't sign for treatment at the doctor's office, the ER, get the child into daycare, or even get the child involved in something fun like Gymboree.

Then if he decided to try to make the arrangment "legal" so he could sign that kind of paperwork, or decided to try to get the birth certificate, the next step would be calling a lawyer. Any adoption lawyer (and possibly any family law lawyer) could walk him through what was needed so he could do that. That might be guardianship (which, yes, a judge would probably grant based on the situation, and would certainly grant if the parent signed papers for it), or it might be something else.

There are people who have posted here in the past, who had children left with them. Often grandparents, for instance. What I've posted is roughly what some of them ended up doing. There are different types of guardianship, you'll have to research that. Some people went on to adopt the child, some didn't.

Hope that helps.

[BethVA62]

Originally Posted by Research09

It's odd though, it's as if I've seen sections of that story you told before in movies! just seems so familiar.

I'm sure it's a common story, I personally know many with similar stories. I've seen many similar ones in movies and on shows like Maury. I'm sure it's common mostly due to practices in adoption that still continue sometimes today, closed records and due to the difficulty in determining true paternity in any case.

I'm no good at making up stories, but I do know of a few incidents where people have found themselves caring for someone elses child.

I found a little 8 yr old boy on my doorstep one morning, he'd run away from his new foster home. His father left when he was young and his mother, a friend of mine, had been arrested for writing bad checks, he was put in emergency foster care. I hadn't heard about it yet. He left at bedtime and made it the 24 miles to my house, someone picked him up on the entrance ramp of I-95 and gave him a ride, didn't even knock on my door, just let him out, an 8 yr old, I can't even imagine. Glad the guy picked him up tho, now. yikes. He said he was afraid to knock and wake us up and slept on the doormat on the front porch til we got up. He stayed with us for a little over a year until his mom came home. I was named his temporary guardian.

Do you want your guy to adopt the child? As in change his birth certificate to reflect himself as the biological father, or do you want him to have guardianship with a will to determine inheritance?

My mother in law became guardian to several of her neices and nephews because her sister had 13 kids and couldn't financially take care of them, or fit them all in her house.
And of course the grandparent ends up caring for the child scenerio, that is VERY common in my world, that theme would catch a lot of viewers attention.

Can he have a young wife??? to be there with the boy after he is gone???? LOL please? or maybe he meets a nice girl or even gets engaged or married before our guy kicks the bucket? Ohhh please don't leave him there all alone! LOL

I've noticed in a lot of the shows I have seen where older adults care for an unexpected young child, that there is almost always a younger neighbor, co-worker, aunt, friend, teacher, sister, etc. and of course a dog there to help. they say it takes a village ya know. Maybe he could come out of his shell and make lots of new friends or become part of his community in some way?

Good luck with your story hun
Beth