[FAYE56]

I'm wondering if there is any hope for my situation.

Birthmother made the very difficult choice to place me for adoption in 1956. (yes, I've read The Girls That Went Away). She apparently was honest with her husband prior to marrying him 3 years later, but never raised the subject again.

Now I appear. She's angry because she actually thought that the Laws in NJ changed - they didn't, I had a medical condition and a sympathetic Judge who gave me her name and origin. It's been over 2 years since I made an appearance(actually only letters, cards & 1 phone call) into their lives and they are still not budging.

I have reached out to my Bsister and she is being very open and welcoming.

I guess what I'm asking is has anyone experienced the Rejection only to be welcomed later?

Faye

[cksmom]

Hi Faye,

You know it's so hard to say. From what I have learned in the last few months is the bmoms that are on this forum are in reunion, searching or open to reunion. So I am interested to see what responses you get. There are a couple of adoptees that really don't have an interest in reunion so maybe they will chime in.

2 years is a long time to wait. You are so patient! I'm glad you are getting to know your bsister. I think that is the relationship to pursue and hopefully bmom will come around and want to be apart of it.

I am also waiting and fear that it will never happen. It's only been 5 1/2 months and I am willing to give her more time. Her husband was not told about me and still may not have been. My bsister and bbrother do know about me and I will be contacting them in the next month or so. (silly me has a time frame. if I don't hear from bmom for my bday at the end of February, then I will contact my bsister.)

Hang in there!

[JustPeachy]

I did not have a closed adoption, but rather a semi-open, so I've always been in communication with my son and his family through an intermediary, and hoping one day to be in direct communication with an eventual reunion. I have heard of situations where birthparents were not interested in contact and then warmed up to it, but I don't know if in those cases several years had gone by or not. I wonder if, as you get to know your birthsister, your mom might be more open to contact. Does your birthsister have any idea why your mom wants to keep the door shut??

[EZ2Luv]

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you , but unfortunately I do not. My very own bmom chose not to tell me or aknowledge me as her daughter and sadly went to her grave with that secret. As a result her subsequent children (my bios) have rejected me as well.

Al I wanted to say is I can feel your pain and I pray your bmom has a change of heart. Please realize that these are HER issues, not yours though they do cause you pain and confusion. If it were not for the wonderful bmoms on this site I don't know what I would have done. They have showed me time and again that not all bmoms were like mine.
I pray that your bmom is able to see beyond her secrets and reach out to you.

EZ