[Sis84]

Hi! I'm glad I found this forum! I am in much stress right now in my life.
I'm sorry that I'm venting, but I feel like no one else understands. I am a 24 year old biracial female. I was adopted at 5 months old to an all white family. I was born 1 lbs and 11 oz. My childhood was rough and good at times. However, during my childhood I was diagnosed with many problems. Asthma, ADHD, Asperger's plus cormobid conditions. Growing up with these problems, made it very stressful on my family.
To make matters worse, my parents were having marriage problems even before I was adopted. I am told that they were only trying to help me by giving me a good home. I was also an extremely hyper child growing up. My parents hardly took me out into public due to it. In 1985, my younger sister was adopted from a foster home. Growing up with her was extremely hard, as she was a NPD sufferer. She and I are about a year apart from each other which was hard to comprehend. At the age of 7 I was physically abused by my younger sister. She was only 5 years old at the time. How my mother handled it was, she sent both of us to our rooms. My father on the other hand, was not mentally there in the family anymore. My mother and father had many disagreements with each other and they weren't in love anymore. As well as growing up with asthma and other problems, I was overweight as a kid due to taking steroids for asthma.
Fast forwarding to several years later, my parents divorced in 2003. I have lived with my adopted mother for 2 years, and my younger sister also resides with us. She and I do not get along about anything! My adopted mother complains about how ugly her kitchen is and how tired she is from her job. She also asks for my help many times when she is home and not working. However, my younger sister doesn't have to help around the house as much! I am also currently unemployed due to resigning from my previous job from verbal harrassment from the manager and other co-workers.
Right now, with my adopted mother, I feel as though I don't get enough respect from her, neither from my younger sister. I am yelled at most of the time for any of my Asperger's symptoms being disruptive in their lives. I also can't form a bond with my mother as well I could when I was younger. I feel very upset by that.
Whenever I cry about something that affects me, she leaves me be. There are times when I want a hug and she doesn't want to. However, she will hug her grandchildren like no tomorrow!! I also try to discuss adoptee issues with her or anything and she says "I don't know.." She also lives in constant clutter in her home! I do my best to clean things, but then after doing it for years, I have become tired of picking up after both my mother and younger sister! I am also a germaphobe as it drives my mother crazy!!
God Bless!

[melissa_bear003]

I'm truly sorry you're experiencing this. One of my best friends is married to a man with Aspergers, and there are just simply some traits that go with it, period. Its not your choosing, its simply the way it is. You need your family to love you regardless, to show their support for you. I'm really, really sorry that this hasn't happened for you.

[mymotherssacrifice]

Hello. I can relate to you on a few levels being that I was also bi-racial and adopted by a white family, that I had gained weight as a child due to steroids from asthma, and also have an adopted mother that struggled to love or bond with me in the way I needed. I do not have aspergers so I cannot even begin to know how difficult that can make life, my only experience is from my job in juvenille corrections and working with kids that do suffer from it. This is what I would tell a girlfriend, get away from the toxic things in your life. You are stuck in a cycle and the stuff from your childhood, all your hurt is continually occuring over and over. This may not be an option for you, but I would strongly suggest looking in to what resources your state and community offer for you to live on your own, or if there is any assistive living housing. It sounds like you are living in an environment that is causing more bad than good. I wish you the best and take care.

[JustPeachy]

I don't have any advice, but just wanted to send some hugs your way

I am so sorry you are going through so much and have had so many struggles to face in your life. I cannot even begin to imagine how hard it all must be. I am happy you have found this forum to reach out to. There are people here who definitely understand, or at least can show you some much needed empathy and support.

You write very nicely, by the way, and seem to have a very good head on your shoulders. I hope things will become less stressful for you soon.

[cksmom]

Hi,

I have a good friend that is biracial and was adopted by a white family. Her abrother also sexually abused her for many years. When she finally told her mother, she was blamed.

I'm sorry your home life is so hard. I'm not sure how old you are but is living on your own an option yet? With being an Aspie, you may feel more comfortable in your own space with your own cleaning routines and being able to feel free to be yourself without judgement.

My son has classic Autism (he's 5) and I know that sometimes he NEEDS to stim on something to regulate himself. It's part of him and we are doing all we can to understand him.

None of your medical issues, Asperger's, weight gain or the abuse is YOUR fault. You have nothing to feel bad or guilty about. I'm sorry that your family doesn't understand that. HUGS!!!!!