[richland91]

While it's been almost 3 years since my adopted mother passed away, I struggle with feelings of abandonment. I was adopted at the age of five. I have had attachment issues throughout my life. While it's so irrational, all I can say is that I struggle with this loss. I was an only child and I am not married.

Does this sound familiar to anyone? What did you do to move on?

[wishfulthinker]

The death of a parent is devistating. My mom died over 8 years ago and my dad 6 years ago. I am also an only child. There still hasn't been one day that has gone by that I don't miss them and think about them. I don't know if it is possible to just move on.

I have coped by living my life in way that would make them proud of me. I believe in God and that my parents are in heaven looking down on me and my kids. I believe that some day I will be with them again. Love never dies. I still feel their love for me and that brings me comfort along with the good memories that I hold in my heart.

I wish you well. Live life to its fullest and know that your mom is proud of you. She did not abandon you, it was just her time to move on to a better place.

[dpen6]

I understand the feeling well, I lost my mom and it was horrible. Left a huge void in all of our lives. I lost my bmom a few years later. For me it was a very strange thing.The loss of my amom was devasting even though I was 38 when she died. My rock was gone, my safety net was gone.
Now that I am 51, i have had lots of time to reflect on the impact BOTH of them have had on my life. My amom's was obvious She was mom to me in every way. She nurtured the family and then the grandkids.....My values, stability, security all came from her. She was an awesome women that I don't think she ever knew how great she was! She was no saint(although we use to tease and call her St. Pat), she wa not perfect, she was definently a mother of the 60's.

In terms of my bmom, I reflect on the fact that we could not have had the realtionship of mother and daughter due to the timing and circumstanses of my birth. I know she missed that and I, on some level did too. It was actually very sad.

There is a time of feeling lost without your mother, no matter what your age is, that someone that does love you unconditioanlly, that has been present and is a huge part of your history is no longer there. Its ery hard....my condolences.

[snuffie]

I lost my amom and adad within three weeks of one another and then a month later found out that my bmom had also passed away. It was a horrible time of loss.
I missed the little things like shopping with my amom and just hearing her voice on the telephone during our daily phone calls. I know I'll never stop missing them but now I can remember the good times and the hugs and smiles.

There is no time limit on grief and grieving. Everyone heals at their own pace.

I grieved for my bmom too although we had only met at my birth. But shortly after I found out that she was gone I found my 8 birth siblings and they have filled my life.

Some talks with a counselor who has dealt with adoptee issues may help. It is a very difficult thing to lose parents. But I think that knowing my parents they wouldn't want me to be sad - They would want me to have a happy life. Maybe getting involved with something you like to do would bring you some joy? I started training puppies around the time my parents died and they have been great therapy!

Snuffie

[Janeytwo]

Dear Richland91,

I just wanted to add my sympathies for the loss of your mom. It is a terrible thing to lose a loved one.

Wishing you peace today and each day,