[brightnuys]

My memory is perfectly fine, it is my comprehension of numbers. Numbers seem to threaten my life; holding me down, drowning me out. Numbers have always frightened me.It had to have been when i was younger.

" Bwing all twey taebows and seat bawks to der upwhite poise-itions. We willa be lawn-ding shortwii."

In a single-file line I was carried out to my owners. Open arms welcomed my five months of life, She told me i had this look on my face. The kind of reaction someone receives when a random stranger thinks they know who you are. There were several others just like me. Others that would end up having two names with two meanings. First, the name that was given at birth was now hidden behind nine numbers (SSN). Second, a new name;a religious name;a white name. A name that had fought the Battle of Jericho. A Jewish name....Wait a minute am I Jewish?!

I wasn't that smart Asian kid in school. Especially when it came to mathematics. I was a disappointment to the blonde kids. After realizing every student i had sat next to had the same WRONG answers as me, word circulated in the classroom that I wasn't smart like all the other Chinese kids..But wait, I'm not Chinese!

I'm suppose to be smart?! Well then,what happened?

Well lets take a look. For three years my adoptive parents made it routine to roll me on both my sides while i was sleeping. Couple hours on my left, couple on my right. As an infant the skin tissue around the skull is very sensitive and malleable. The goal of this process was to achieve the appearance of a round head. This was the beginning of the transformation. This was the cover-up of a little Korean who from now on was claimed Caucasian.

Flat heads are glorified and found very attractive. This idea is one of the unique definitions of Eastern beauty; a part of Korean culture. Now arriving in the U.S. with that horizontal head of mine, my culture becomes a wrong answer, rubbed out and erased. I had no choice but to accept that Korean culture was the Wrong answer! I have some uneven spots now that I am older. So much for the "round western crown".

Was I the youngest victim of identity theft?

[LMNGambino]

Wow. How sad. I was domestic, and have enough issues with my identity. This is one of the reasons I PERSONALLY do not agree with international adoptions.

Its bad enough when we don't look like our parents & we're the same race, but to deny our physical traits and actually try to change them is nothing short of child abuse, as is denying that child their heritage, their culture, their language..Im sorry this happened to you...

[melissa_bear003]

I'd be willing to bet that the turning wasn't a matter of 'beauty' but of concern for health and well being. Many people still think that a flattened skull could mean injury to the brain in a developing baby. Not true, as it turns out, but that is the fear. Not looks, but brain injury. I've heard many friends fret about their baby's flat spot and worry if it would harm their baby.

I'm sorry that you're so angry as to refer to your adoptive parents as 'owners'. I hope you find peace.

[Sunnylove]

As an adoptee myself I know what if feels like to not feel like you fit in with your family. The most important thing to realize is now that you are older, you can choose what culture you want to be a part of. You can research your culture and accept that as a part of who you are. I think you should do that. It was not right for your adoptive parents to try to erase that from your life as it is a very important part of who you are. They may not have realized how important it would be to you as you got older and how much it would affect you. As for being smart...well I don't think your race has anything to do with how smart you are. I am sure that while you are not good at math (neither am I) you are good at many other things.