[KaraAgnarsdottir]

I am one of the few adoptees that actually looks like her adoptive parents (Well a mix of them)...

Strangely I looked like a genuine mix of my adoptive parents.... I even shared some of the same moles and whatnot as my dad... People always told me that I look just like my parents when I was growing up... My mother's response was always "She's adopted" My dad's was "Thank you" (my mom has also been documented as a sociopath -among many other mental ailments- since my adoption)

the funny thing is though... every time I was handed a genetics assignment in school I would break down and cry, so my adad would have to call and explain why I can't do the assignment... all they (the assignments) ever did was point out the differences like why I am not my parents blood (eye color, etc)...

Since then I have had an obssession with blood... I cannot bear the idea of adopting (seeing them feel the way I have felt) and after 2 misscarriages I am nervous if I will ever be able to have "my own flesh and blood" Yes there is plenty of time before I am really worried about this -- but the older I get the more I realize that time is running out...

does anyone else feel like they could never adopt? like having their own "flesh and blood" is their only chance at having a healthy relationship with a blood relative?

[LMNGambino]

I could not adopt, as I have too many unresolved issues from my own adoption.

I dont even think I could foster, as I could not bear the seperation.

[Blessed2x.]

I love children, so I could adopt. And my experience as an adopted child was good.

However, I always relished the idea of having my own children. My children were the first biological relatives I consciously laid my eyes on, and it was an amazing, surreal experience. I finally "created" the experience of family related by blood, an experience I never had before.

[KaraAgnarsdottir]

Originally Posted by Blessed2x.

I love children, so I could adopt. And my experience as an adopted child was good.

However, I always relished the idea of having my own children. My children were the first biological relatives I consciously laid my eyes on, and it was an amazing, surreal experience. I finally "created" the experience of family related by blood, an experience I never had before.

And that is exactly what I look forward to!!! I can hardly wait to start my family... but gonna wait until I am married at least.... which means I gotto wait for my amazing man to figure that one out... lol!

[LMNGambino]

Originally Posted by KaraAgnarsdottir

which means I gotto wait for my amazing man to figure that one out... lol!

Lemme know where and when ya find him!

[Mil]

I guess all adoptees feel differently. My daughter is adopted and she would like to adopt. I think she might still have bio kids too. She just got married in August, so I guess we'll have to wait and see! But whichever way they choose, I'll be a happy grandma!

[SoniaRose]

Even as a child, I knew I wanted to have my own children someday because I really wanted to be related to another human being. I had to make my own relatives.

Before I married my husband, he told me that if I couldn't get pregnant, that he did not want to adopt because he didn't want to "raise someone else's child". I still remember his exact words because they were a little hurtful.

I'm not sure if I would have ever considered adopting children myself, but I was able to have three successful pregnancies, although there have been those odd times when I've wondered to myself, "Now why did I want kids so badly?" LOL

[BrockBaby]

I always figured I would adopt someday. Even as a kid. I thought that if I adopted then I would know how that child felt, and would allow them to talk about it, and be there for them. Something that didn't happen to me.....I am actually CONSIDERING adoption even now...we'll see. ( I am single, by-the-way, but there is a little girl at my church that I would love to adopt if she's available to, and if the timing is right....)

[KaraAgnarsdottir]

Originally Posted by LMNGambino

Lemme know where and when ya find him!

Oh I have him... he's just busy concentrating on his career with Boeing... but he looks at our relationship with the same goals once we both get a little more settled... Marriage, kids, etc....

I just got a job closer to him now... so I need a new place to live so I don't have to drive 50 mi to work every morning....

[Jan18]

I would have adopted if I was not able to have my own biological children. My husband and I even discussed it as an option for us. I was NOT willing to go through fertility treatments.

I grew up in a positive home where it was talking about and my aparents tried to answer any question I had.

I also looked like I could have been their biological child. I look like a mix of them both, and people would comment on me looking like my amom. I was the one who would say, "I CAN"T look like her because I am adopted!"

[Blessed2x.]

I am adopted, and have biological children. My children talk about wanting to adopt!

[Queenie312]

I too have always been told that I look like my afamily. My biological family is Irish and Scottish and so is my afamily. I have always been told that I look just like my Dad and a couple of my siblings who are my parents biological children. I used to even fantasize that my Dad really was my biological father but that isn't the case. I honestly don't know if I would have been willing to adopt only because I have always had it in my mind that I was "second choice" and I would be afraid my child would feel the same way. I have always felt that if my parents were able to have children at the time they would not have adopted so, therefore, I was "Plan B" so to speak. My Mom always told me she would have been surprised if I had ever adopted because between my brother and I I was the one who always questioned my adoption and never seemed content, or whatever the word would be, with it. My brother never had questions, never talked about it and never seemed to have any qualms about his adoption and he and his wife did adopt a 4 year old son.

To SoniaRose - I understand how your husband's comment about "raising someone else's child" would hurt. I have heard comments like that all my life as I'm sure all of us have and they never cease to stab you right in the heart. People don't understand how comments like that affect an adoptee.

[KaraAgnarsdottir]

I think that feeling of second best is a permanent status...you know?

My mom always joked about how she bought me and could return me (as compared to "I brought you into this world and I can take you out") so I have always felt like a piece of merchandise...

[LMNGambino]

Originally Posted by KaraAgnarsdottir

I think that feeling of second best is a permanent status...you know?

My mom always joked about how she bought me and could return me (as compared to "I brought you into this world and I can take you out") so I have always felt like a piece of merchandise...

My parents kept the receipt from Catholic Charities & the associated court costs. I was $225.00...less than my Springer Spaniel. BWAHAHAHAHA!

Im a stand up comic and do a bit about that...

Its my therapy.

[Mil]

As I stated above, my adaughter just got married. Her husband's family does the Sr., Jr. III, type of thing for the male's names. My new son-in-law is the III in his family and he has stated that he'd like their first son to be the IV. And they were talking about this in front of his parents before they got married. They also were talking about possibly adopting. And both of his parent's got upset and said that if they adopted a son, they shouldn't name it the IV, because that was 'a family name'. You can't give it to someone who's not family. My daughter got so upset! She told them that this child WOULD BE FAMILY and if they didn't understand that then there would be NO CHILD (bio or adopted) given that name! Later that night, his dad did come apologize to Miranda saying that he talked without thinking. But his mom never apologized and was upset about this for quite some time. My son-in-law said that he would name a child 'the IV' no matter what. My daughter was still mad and told him that he had ONE SHOT at that name and if he had an adopted son and chose not to give it that name then if they had a bio son there was no way that the bio child would then have the family name! She's been very unwavering about that, but they hurt her very much by thinking that an adopted child wasn't 'quite as good'. While my daughter is a sweet and forgiving person, she may forgive that, but she certainly won't forget.

I thought that remark was extremely tacky of them. My children ARE my real children. I'm not trying to make myself out a saint here, but I was always really careful what I said to my kids - I never wanted them to get any kind of idea that they were 2nd choice or Plan B.