[LMNGambino]

Well, I sent my 1/2 brother's wife an email. The few friends who are themselves in the triad felt it best to have an intermediary of sorts.
Now, I am second guessing myself. What if she lies to me & says she told them & they dont want anything to do with me? What if my 1/2 bro is furious at me for telling his wife first & not him? What is, what if, what if...... Now, I wait.

[winter444]

Keeping all fingers crossed for you.
That's exactly what I went through after the first email...what if she's so angry at me, what if this.....I went bananas! Hang in there, you've made the first step, good for you. See if you get a reply and then go on to the next step. when I sent an email to my 1/2 sister on my space I didn't get a reply for a while, she just hadn't checked her mail.
Positive vibes coming through to you.

[lacymarie]

DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!! Gosh, you are soooo patient. Your bmom better be glad Im not in your shoes!!!! LOL Do it, and keep you head up along the way. WOW!!! U deserve to!

[SWGAgirl]

Boy LMN- You have guts- that's for sure. I have wanted to contact my half sibs so badly since my b-mom has chosen not to tell them- after 5 plus years now. (They are all in their late thirties and mid forties as well).

I haven't done it- but I think about it a lot. I can't wait to see how this turns out for you. I really hope that you get a favorable response. All this stuff is SO nerve-wracking and just makes you sick at your stomach.

You have waited way long enough, and you deserve to know your siblings as well as they have a right to know you.

I think our b-moms don't give their kids nearly enough credit when they keep us secret like this. I feel they underestimate their own kids.

The annoying thing about all this is figuring out which one to contact- since we don't really know personalities and relationships and past history. We don't know which member would be most receptive. It's all a crap shoot.

I admire you for going forward though. Good for you. I'll be waiting to hear how it goes. Best wishes.

[LMNGambino]

Thanks! Im sort of impatient & hate secrets and that fact that I have waited this long boggles my mind. I was the kid who would find the Christmas presents, open them & then re-wrap them!

Im going to go nuts waiting for a response, though. Once I make up my mind to do something, it's gangbusters, lol.

When I recieved my bmom's info, I was on the phone with her in less than 6 hours. That was before the internet, and the info was 21 years old!

Like you said, Im really worried about this, as I just dont know how they will react. I told my bro's wife I hoped she could share some insight into the family dynamics, that I wasnt sure whom to contact. I spilled everything to her (except for some of the nasty things the bmom has said/done) in hopes I could appeal to HER maternal instincts. I know she & my bro have 2 small children.

I wish I had a sleeping pill to take tonight! I know Im not going to fall asleep! Plus, my girls keep texting me to see if Ive heard back!

[jrainbow]

She also does not want to interrupt their "birth order", which to me, is a ridiculous argument. I do not share a history with my siblings, so there was no rivalry, etc.
Just something you might think about while waiting for the responses. This Birth Order thing seems to be very real for raised siblings. Although I haven't talked with my bsiblings either, my bdad says that the oldest is having a lot of issues about "not being his first born" anymore. There are other siblings on these boards that have the same issues. I think this is silly also ... I obviously am not "taking anyone's place" in the family - DUH. But it can be very real on the other side.

My other 2 bsiblings don't seem to have any issue with this but, of course, they are still the middle child and the baby - no change for them.

Good luck and hope it all works out.

[LMNGambino]

I am a total believer in birth order. I see it with my a fam & my own girls, but like you said- we dont share a history, so I dont get it. Of course, I dont get a lot of emotions in this mess.

[JustPeachy]

Keeping my fingers crossed that you hear back soon with positive news!

[LMNGambino]

Thanks! Starting to get really nervous. It's been almost 24 hours. I know, I know...go clean something, lol. Im running out of things to clean!

[cetalley]

LMN, You just need to breathe, bubble bath, glass of wine, favorite musician, and you have a great evening. I am proud of you for going for this...this is YOUR life and you have every RIGHT to piece it together so you can be whole......Good Luck, keep us posted...we love happy endings here to!

[CindyWho]

Contact your birth siblings. Decisions were made for us as babies when we had no control and no say. You need to regain your control over your life and 22 years is long enough. I would just be careful not to bad-mouth your bmother. I contacted my bbrothers on my own, as my bparents had passed away, and haven't regretted it for a second. Knowing is always better than not knowing. Lots of luck and courage!

[Longtimewaiting]

Its been over a month now since you made contact...WHAT is happening????

[LMNGambino]

I have so far, met 2 brothers. The first was the first weekend in November. I was in LA on business, so we spent Saturday and Sunday together. It was amazing. It was happy, sad, angry, joyous...every emotion you can think of. I realized everything I had missed over the years, but I am happy we will have the rest of our lives to look forward.
I met another brother & his family this past weekend. Same thing- it was awesome. To have your n family's acceptance is an adoptee's dream come true. To see, in person, how much you are like these people is overwhelming at times. DNA does not lie. We look alike, talk alike, stand and walk alike, think and speak alike.
It was hard, becuse both brothers are angry with our n mom from keeping them from me all these years. I acknowledged their anger, but told them we can't change it, and can only move forward. Secrets and lies have a way of being found out...but all we can do is move forward.
If anyone is thinking about making contact- JUST DO IT.

[bprice215]

You are so right about it all, just do it and get it over with, stop wondering what if. Glad it worked out for you.

bprice215

[CindyWho]

It's interesting that in the reunion scenario with birth-sibs, we adoptees are actually in a better position as we knew what was potentially out there. Those b-sibs that had no idea are not psychologically prepared and have a lot of processing to do. When I contacted my 3 bbrothers, 2 reacted well and quickly, and 1 (the youngest) was unable to deal with the situation. It took 6 months for him to call me, and only then because my son was ill. It could have taken him much longer. They all have regrets about how much of the past we missed but are committed to our future relationship and take care of me as the younger sister that I finally am. What a thrill to finally fit in! Much congratulations to you!