[paisley83]

Ok.. so I need a job. I know that most people do not like looking for a job.. but for me its just plain stressfull. I don't handle rejection well, and it is very hard for me to put myself into a situation where its a possibility. So, now I'm at a point where I am stressing out about needing a job, stressing out about having to look for a job - which is causing anxiety attacks - and all of its bringing on migraines.. I know I need to suck it up, but the smallest amount of rejection, and I get really depressed, shut down.. literally do not get out of bed for a week..

I am wondering, has anyone been through something like this and how did you deal with it? I'm really tired of being this emotional mess.. any advice is greatly appreciated.

[Life.is.a.Journey]

Wow, that's a tough one. You don't want to be so stressed when applying/interviewing that you become a self-fulfilling prophecy! When I was job-hunting, I tried to look at it like this - when I wasn't chosen, I wasn't rejected, it's just that someone else was chosen. Maybe that person had a little better qualifications, or they knew someone at the company, or their skill-set was more obvious to the hiring person. Get people you know who hire other people to look at your resume and make suggestions. Print out "possible interview questions" from different websites, and then answer those questions.

Remember, you don't need them all, you only need to get ONE of them!

[ReOcB42008]

Am also looking for work- since Sept. 2006! Working temp jobs - not able to get FT regular job. Never thought might be because of adoption issues. Had adoptive a-"mother" that always put me down, said no one wanted me, I couldn't do anything right. Thought THAT was why I just can't seem to get a good job. Maybe is combination of the two. Reo

[bakerjw]

I don't handle rejection well either but the job market is really tough now. It took me 4 months to land the contract job that I have now and I have a college degree and 20 years of experience in electronics and IT.

Hang in there. It's nothing personal. One thing I have found, the less I care about getting a job, the more often times I will get it.

[yehudit]

No doubt about it that searching for a job is one of the most stressful things there is. For everyone. It sounds like for you it is even more stressful than "normal."

Have you ever seen a therapist to address your rejection issues? I know money may be tight right now but this might be well worth the investment to help get you through this.

I usually make a list of contacts and force myself to make a certain number of calls every day (5-10 or so). I can't do anything fun until I make those calls. For each person I call, I ask for more contacts and so on down the line for as long as necessary. Remember that most people WANT to help even if they don't know you directly. All you need is the name of someone they do know.

Also, my habit is to get a temporary job so I feel like I'm doing something positive. Once I worked at starbucks for a few months and it was just the kick in the rear I needed. It helps keep me humble that no job is beneath me, but gives me the motivation to strive for the job I really want.

Good luck,

[white_elephant]

Posted by: paisley83 - I am wondering, has anyone been through something like this and how did you deal with it? I'm really tired of being this emotional mess.. any advice is greatly appreciated.




Paisley83,

I'm there now, no job, no money, can't pay for counselling. I mean can't, not won't. No motivation, no energy, makes it very hard to get through an interview a pretend you are some energetic, self-starter! Depression, and anxiety are on the top of the list. Anyone know of a free counselling or local support group dealing specifically with adoption related issues, (St. Pete, Fl) area - please let me know. I will glady go! I've looked on the internet, maybe I don't know what to look for.

I've never been through this before either, so thank you for posting this. I almost posted something very similar a couple weeks ago.

As for what I do? Look for jobs on the net, email resume's and wait. I do not take if personal really, just an overall feeling of "loser" I guess. I know it's the job market as well, somehow that's not really helping me feel better, nor is it paying the bills.

Yes, I do absolutely believe the rejection is an issue, I think it gets compounded when we start to go through "normal" life issues. I don't do well with it at all either. Pray, too.

Lots of Hugs, you aren't alone - God bless you.